Ask A Guy: Do Guys Like It When Girls Make The First Move?

Photo Source: iStock

Photo Source: iStock

Hey Joel,

I’ve been dating this guy for one year. We have kissed, held hands, hugged. You know what I mean, stuff like that. I’ve never made a move though. He’s always been the one to lean for a kiss, grabbed my hand, hug me, and I haven’t yet. I’ve wanted to for a really long time, I just don’t know if making a move is just guy thing. Do guys like it when girls make a move?

The short answer is YES! WHY DID YOU WAIT THIS LONG?!?! It’s 2015, and there is absolutely no reason why you can’t be taking the role of the instigator or aggressor whenever you wish. Leaving things completely to him will ultimately end in you being disappointed, so it’s time to kick that idea to the curb.

While it may seem a bit unfamiliar at first, there is no reason whatsoever that you should be hesitant about making a move. Especially given the fact that you’ve been together for a year, this is a no brainer. Relationships need to be balanced in every aspect, and initiating everything from the smallest physical contact to full-on bedroom romps are among those things.

You should be taking an active role in setting the tone for the relationship and making sure that you get out of it whatever you want and need. Along with that, you need to be sure that his wants and needs are being similarly fulfilled, as this is one of the most important parts of any successful relationship.

That all being said though, it is a bit concerning that you’ve been together as long as you have, and these sorts of things aren’t already second nature. Combine this with the fact that you don’t feel completely comfortable making even the slightest of “moves,” and it sounds like there is a comfort issue or a lack of basic communication. If all you need is for someone to say it’s ok to be more aggressive, then take this as that and step up!

My best advice is that the next time you see him, just walk right up and plant a big ‘ol kiss right on his lips. Go after what you want and show him exactly what he should be doing. Get in there and make it what you want!

Best of luck!


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube.. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

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