How To Make Friends When You’re A Freshman In High School

Hello Heather,

I am about to be a freshman in high school and I don’t have that many friends. Last year was hard for me and it feels like I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster that doesn’t stop. Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing something wrong or if I’m even capable of getting by. I know there will be a lot of new people in my high school because middle schools are merging. How can I make friends as a freshman and stop being so hard on myself?

no friends

Hey girl, here’s a virtual hug because making friends can be really hard. I’ve been in your position before and I know just how upsetting it can be. Starting high school is pretty scary on it’s own, but when you feel like you don’t have a friend by your side, it gets even scarier. Before you decide that you can’t get by (I think you can!), you should try some of the below options to see if you can make some friends in this new place.

As a freshman, I was a painfully shy girl who knew only two other people in my new high school. Making friends was a struggle. But I did it! And if I can do it, I promise you can too. You just have to be open-minded and have some patience. Things may not happen overnight, but they will happen. Here are some tips on making friends the easiest way possible:

1. Join clubs. I know this is such cliche advice for making friends, but that’s probably because it actually works. If you don’t join anything, you’re just going to class and then going home. Being in a club forces you to be more social. Join a few different things that seem interesting to you, then talk to the people in them. This is how I made most of my high school friends.

2. Use schoolwork as a friend-making tool. Make friends with the people in your classes by using schoolwork as something that bonds you together. Ask if they want to study together. Do extra help together. Hang out to work on a project together. It will be about school at first, but then eventually you guys will start becoming friendlier (probably).

3. Gather up the nerve to just talk to someone. Okay, I know this is MUCH easier said than done. But listen to this story about my first day of being a freshman in high school: I was ridiculously shy. I had never approached anyone in my life. But I knew that high school would suck if I didn’t make friends, so I bit the bullet and did it. On my first day of school, I went up to a girl I had seen in homeroom who seemed friendly, and I said, “Can I eat lunch with you?” She said sure, and we ate lunch together and I met her other friends. Flash forward to me now – we’re still best friends. Seriously! Asking this girl if I could have lunch with her was, no joke, one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. But it worked, and it is totally worth trying.

4. Use your other friends to meet new people. You said you don’t have very many friends, so I’m assuming you have at least one friend, right? Try to become friends with her friends. This is a huge way that friendships form! Use your connections, girl.

I hope this advice helps. Freshman year is really hard, and it’s understandable that you feel this way. But give it some time, and follow these tips, and I bet you’ll make some new friends. Good luck!

take care,
Heather

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