Ask A Guy: Is He Just A Flirt Or Does He Actually Like You?

Photo Source: iStock

Photo Source: iStock

Hello! So, I’m really confused about this one guy I like. We knew each other for a while, but we never really KNEW each other. About a week ago, we got to be counselors together and now I’m pretty sure he likes me. We would talk about pretty much everything together, (not getting personal yet) sometimes I would start the convo, sometimes he would. He started walking away from the group of kids to talk to me and was walking really slowly, and when I talk to him he looks at me in the eyes. Sometimes plays on his phone, but he smiles a lot at me. He tried impressing me by doing a pull up on a tree branch, and he CONSTANTLY teases me. The only thing is my friend friended him over Facebook and messaged him. In so many words, she asked if he liked me. When my friend told me he said no, I was confused. Is he just a flirt or do you think he might actually like me? Help! (I don’t think he has a girlfriend.)

Guys flirt, girls flirt – everyone flirts, and it’s one of the most enjoyable parts of life. Those little teases and dancing on the line of “do they like me back” feels like nothing else, but it also makes situations incredibly difficult to read.

If he’s constantly teasing you, I would be very hesitant to read that as him being into you. While in younger years, the idea that guys tease the girls they like may have some credence, there is a point where it becomes immature and a total red flag for relationships. It’s a fine line between the two, and only you can really know which side he falls on. Regardless, I’d be wary of using that as “a sign” that he likes you.

At the same time, I wouldn’t put much stock in what he may have said to one of your friends on social media. The ability to hide behind the computer screen is one of the biggest problems of modern society, and he may have said what he said just to end the conversation. Also, if he does like you, he may not want to tell your friend out of fear of blowing his cover and trying to play it cool. If you really want to know if he’s into you, make plans together, and see what happens.

The fact that he seems to want to hang out with you and you talk a lot is a step in the right direction, but if you’re just getting to know each other better, I would give things time to develop. When you rush into a relationship, it’s almost always doomed to fail – so be patient and let him chase you for a bit to make sure he’s actually into you.

The bottom line is, things seem pretty unclear on whether or not he feels for you the way you do for him, and I always say the best thing to do is be up front about it. If you’re into him, go after him. Don’t just wait around for him to make the first move – go and get what you want!

Best of luck!


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube.. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

What should you do if your boyfriend hasn’t said “I love you” after a year

Follow Gurl, pretty please!
FacebookTwitterTumblr and Instagram

Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
Tags: , ,