9 Real Guys Share Their Most Embarrassing Sex Moments Ever

Sex isn’t all fun and games – sometimes it can be downright mortifying. When you’re naked and vulnerable, there are just too many things that can go wrong. Weird smells, sounds, and body excretions abound (“I’m sorry – I had no idea I was starting my period!”), and that’s only the beginning.

We already have a weekly column of amazing sex confessions from real girls – but what about ones from dudes? As girls, we tend to focus on all the stuff about sex that makes us uncomfortable. But guys get embarrassed too! It’s important to remember that it happens to all of us and to not be too hard on ourselves when things go awry. We spoke to 9 real dudes and convinced them to share their most awkward and embarrassing sex moments to us – anonymously of course! Get ready to laugh:


He Fell Asleep

"Life has been pretty hectic for me the last couple of months, and I haven’t been getting as much sleep as I need. I took a girl out to a nice dinner and I pretty much stuffed my face. Surprisingly, she asked if I wanted to come back to her place. (YES.) Well, apparently, I did not make it very far into the sexual proceedings because I woke up the next morning to her angrily putting on her clothes and telling me that I had fallen asleep on top of her. I guess she found it offensive. Needless to say, I try and get in those eight hours now."

Stock photo © Scrofula

He Farted At A Bad Time

"Once a girl was giving me a blowjob in my room. I definitely was pleasantly surprised by this turn of events, and had not been expecting it at all. I had had a huge burrito earlier in the night because, well, I love burritos. Anyways, she is going at it and doing a great job, when suddenly a loud noise interrupts the proceedings. A wave of terror rushes over me as I realize that that noise had come from my very own butthole. The smell followed like an awful aftershock. She actually looked up at me in disgust, grabbed her purse, and ran out then and there."

Stock photo © Brosa

He Made A Weird O Face

“I had just reached the moment of ecstasy when I heard my girl laughing like a hyena. She blurted out, ‘You looked and sounded like a deer that was getting slaughtered.’ Thanks, lady. You sure know how to make a guy feel sexy. Now I try to hide my face a little more when the big moment comes. I can’t risk looking like an animal in distress.”

Stock photo © marcogarrincha

He Couldn't Get It Up

"I have this problem where the more I like a girl, the less likely I’ll be able to get an erection. I know- it’s a curse! I finally got this cute, funny girl I was dating to come back to my place with me. She saw that I didn’t have a boner and thought that she didn’t turn me on, but it was actually the opposite. Trying to explain that to her while we were both awkwardly staring at each other naked was not one of my favorite moments. Girls, just know- if we can’t get it up, it’s usually not because of you!"

Stock photo © AzmanJaka

He Couldn't Figure Out Her Bra

“I am 26 years old, and I still get nervous any time I have to unhook a bra! I think that I’m not able to do it because I panic. Anyway, it always stalls the romantic moment when I’m back there fumbling with the hooks and clasps. It definitely doesn’t make me look like a Casanova, that’s for sure. It’s not fair- guys’ clothes are so straightforward and easy to remove."

 Stock photo © mabe123

He Did A Little Too Much

"Sometimes I can get too excited when I’m having sex. I haven’t had too much experience and am a pretty big guy, so I guess that can be a recipe for disaster. My girlfriend and I had started getting more intimate, and on our first time apparently I was thrusting a little too vigorously. After she yelped like a hurt puppy, I realized that I had caused more pain than pleasure. I apologized profusely, but the night ended with us on opposite sides of the bed. I definitely have learned to take things a little more slowly."

Stock photo © Justin Horrocks

He Finished Too Early

"There was a really cute girl who I never thought would be interested in me. It was our first time making out, and I could not believe it was actually happening. Things started getting hot and heavy, and it seems that I got wrapped up in the moment. I accidentally came into my underwear. Running to the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to come up with something to say. She was actually really nice about it, but I was not asked back. Hey, she should have taken it as a compliment!"

Stock photo © DRB Images, LLC

He Got A Cramp At The Worst Time

“It was almost the moment- you know the big finale. The symphony was beginning to play. Out of nowhere, a painful muscle spasm grabbed my leg, and I was literally writhing on the bed and making incoherent sentances. I hardly even knew the person I was sleeping with, and here I was rolling around like a possessed person. I wish I could say the other person found it hilarious, but it just ended up being awkward. Let’s just say the moment was ruined.”

Stock photo © m-gucci

He Got Too Sweaty

“I’m not sure what it is, but engaging in sex makes me turn into a male slip-in-side. As soon as the waterworks start coming, I get really paranoid that the girl is going to get really grossed out and just walk away. It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s always tomorrow.”

Stock photo © GlobalStock

You can follow the author, Jessica Booth, on Twitter or Instagram.

 

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