18 Things You’ll Only Understand If You Don’t Trust Anyone

I’ll just say it: I have a lot of trust issues. I can count on one hand the number of people I trust unconditionally in this world, and 99 percent of them are family members. It takes a very long time for me to trust someone, and sadly, I don’t even fully trust most of the people I’m closest to in this world. Once I trust you, it’s a Big Deal, and if you do one thing that makes me question that trust, it’s pretty much gone for good.

I don’t love being this way, because it makes close relationships very difficult. These trust issues have made it hard for me to be in intimate relationships, and they have contributed to a lot of fights I’ve had with various boyfriends before. I wish I was a more trusting person sometimes, and it really is something I’m trying to work on, but I just don’t know how much I can change that part of me.

This world is pretty messed up, so I know I’m not the only one with this problem. Here are 18 things you’ll only get if you have trust issues as well:

 

1. You can’t help but jump to the worst conclusions when questioning someone’s motives.

lying

Even before you know the whole story, you assume they’ve done the worst to you.

 

2. You like to put yourself in control in most situations so that you don’t have to depend on other people, even for little things.

no trust

 

3. You’re weary of new people in your life and it takes you a long time to feel comfortable around them.

toby

 

4. You keep your true feelings guarded from most people.

eyes

 

5. In new relationships, you tend to get jealous very easily because you don’t really trust the person you’re dating yet.

jealous

 

6. Whenever someone new approaches you to flirt, you wonder if they’re just messing with you or being honest.

suspicious

 

7. Once a friend or significant other lies to you, you never, ever forget it.

hanna

 

8. You have lied and told someone you trusted them even if you didn’t just to get them off your back.

aladdin

 

9. It almost feels like sometimes you’re waiting for someone close to you to do something behind your back, just so you can scream, “I knew it!!!!”

trust issues

 

10. You realize your trust issues are a little destructive and it kind of freaks you out.

sad

 

11. Even when you DO trust someone, you have moments of weakness where you wonder if you’re right about them.

worried

You usually feel horrible afterwards.

 

12. You hate feeling vulnerable and will do anything to avoid it.

serena

 

13. You spend so much time wondering if people are deceiving you that you’ve become really good at picking up warning signs…

cant trust

 

14 …but also, you’re a little too paranoid for your own good sometimes.

trust is a lie

 

15. You’re constantly baffled by people who can trust so easily, even after getting hurt in the past.

dory

 

16. Hearing about other people being cheated on or screwed over makes you feel extra suspicious about things in your life.

mona

 

17. You know that sometimes, your feelings aren’t fair, but you can’t help it. 

get hurt

 

18. When you finally do trust someone, you make a big deal out of it to them. 

trusting you

 

 

Can you relate to this? Are you a trusting person or no? What did I forget to include? Tell me in the comments.

You can follow the author, Jessica Booth, on Twitter or Instagram.

10 signs you can trust your boyfriend

Follow Gurl, pretty please!
FacebookTwitterTumblr and Instagram


Posted in: Beliefs
Tags: , ,
  • Haf Gaemer

    I used to have trust issues as well until I took the time to think it out. I started asking myself what I could absolutely trust? Isn’t trust all about absolutes? I found that the only truly trustable aspect about my life was the setting. I trusted that the sun would come up every morning, that the temperature would drop as the season changed from summer to fall, that leaves would drop to the ground and the colors would change.. things like that. People.. are not trustable because they are fallible. When you put your trust in another human being, it is unfair to expect them to be absolute and 100% failsafe. What we call trust is really faith and hope in each other. We teach our children to not talk to/trust strangers, but encourage them to trust people they know.. why? What make the difference between a stranger and friend? It is when we form an idea of a person that we become relaxed and “trusting” of them. This idea of who they are is in OUR heads, not theirs.. so who they really are is still unknown, but we get to know personality, humor, and habits that can form a bond we have traditionally described as trust. This has been our mistake for millennia.. putting trust in each other and then melting down when that “trust” is broken.
    Pre-load yourself with forgiveness and learn to quit trusting people so blindly. Your faith and hope is a much safer judge of character than blind trust. Save that for your creator and the laws he set in place. So far this philosophy has kept me from repeating past mistakes. I’m liking it.

    • James Spears

      Mr. Gaemer, I find your comments very intriguing. I am at a crisis. I find trusting people is EXTREMELY difficult, but consider that it is a problem of my expectations. Yet, I have o choice, in my life but to trust others. Luckily, my wife is extremely steady and predictable. Her approach and mine deviate, but I can trust that her approach for her, does not.

      Is it possible for us to continue this discussion?

      • Haf Gaemer

        Hello Mr. Spears. Forgive my lapse in response time, I usually ignore comments as they are almost always negative knee jerk reactions to something I have said. It’s always nice to be engaged civilly. =) I only meant my comment to highlight the unreal expectations we put on each other.

        I was married for 10 years and had put my wife on a sort of pedestal. I had such complete trust in her that when that trust failed and she left me for another man, I broke hard. Suddenly I was hating someone I had spent so much time loving. It was confusing to say the least. 6 years later I can forgive her and move on. The pain is still there, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can do this because I realize now where I screwed up.. not just in the marriage(that’s a whole other story), but in the reaction and recovery from having someone betray me so deeply. Hindsight showed me all the signs I had ignored before this happened. I ignored many of these because of trust..or as some people will put it(blind trust). To me the words “blind trust” make about as much sense as dry rain. I had ignored the signs that all was not well because of a sense that betrayal was not a part of the equation. There was my mistake.. not in having faith or hoping that would always be true.. but in never preparing for the possibility that I was wrong. Had I the insight I do now, I would never have entered into such a state of depression, and it would not have taken me so long to have faith in another human being again. In short, if someone is going to wreck you then there isn’t much you can do about it. You can however, learn to forgive by seeing the signs earlier and recognizing that everyone has their own propensity, proclivity, and predispositions. For me, getting over the surprise of it all was the most enlightening. I forgive not because what she did is OK to me now, but because what she did to me was nothing compared to what I did to myself over it. Forgiveness isn’t usually welcomed by those being forgiven, but it’s benefit isn’t solely for them anyway. Forgiveness might not always help those who need it, but it will always help those who give it.

  • lina az

    One question to the author . Did you have a mother in your childhood ?

  • WhiteWolfKobachi

    Haven’t been able to trust even myself much less to outsiders.

  • Trust & expectation are bedfellows. Stop expecting anything and just live in the moment.

  • Coldblooded

    So what do i do ? I can’t keep living like this… feeling like I can’t trust my own family and so called friends? I always feel like I am being attacked and judged. I feel like everyone hates me. I am on the verge of deleting all of my social media because it’s all about people flexing trying to prove how they and their lives are better than everyone else’s. & why have people on your social media that you wouldn’t even talk to if you saw each other in person? There’s a difference between having an acquaintance that you speak to occasionally when you run into each other, and a stranger that you are allowing to be a part of you’re life when they most likely just judge you because you aren’t even actually friends. I feel like I’m just going to keep isolating myself more and more until every everyone’s been pushed away and I am left with hatred being aimed at me when they don’t even know why I act the way I act and don’t care anyway. I wish I could restart my life or never be born in this cold world.

  • Jessica

    I have trust issues, and I was always in negation about this, but now I have recognised it openly. It’s really sad, I feel like I can’t truly connect with people. Sometimes I feel like my friends aren’t really my friends, and yes, we are all friends but I don’t trust them. Plus it makes you feel alone, and people don’t realise that trust is a big issue, you really can’t trust anybody, our world has changed so much, that the value of trust is barely in people. Only superficial trust is present in everyone. I can relate to this, but it’s really sad. The worst thing is that I really wanna trust, I really want someone to trust on, and make it simple in relationships of any kind. And just be that simple. Just trust.

    • Thien

      So do I. That’s the worst thing. You really want to trust. Paradoxically it’s the thing you want the most. To let go.

  • Mortimer Aeinhardt

    Yeah.

    Not only do I not trust anyone (family and myself included) I generally don’t like people.

    I feel silly being like this though, I’m only 21. I imagine anyone over fourty would roll their eyes and think I’ll change my mind or it’s a temporary “phase”. I hate people, although I could just be developing psychosis.

    • WhiteWolfKobachi

      Same, but I like it because I think differently from average people. Dislike it because I can’t understand anything.

  • Natalie Lenka

    I think it’s more healthy to realize that you can’t trust people than to continually expect good behavior from others and getting betrayed. And when someone finally is genuine, it’s a really nice pleasant surprise.

  • solojay

    I feed everyone with a very long spoon. I don’t have any friends so family and anyone else. I was cursed coming into this world and then manipulated by the system i trust no one.

  • Tyra Robinson

    After my traumatic experiences in school I don’t trust anybody, people attacked me physically emotionally mentally and sexually, I literally hate almost everyone who went there i can’t take this earth anymore

    • Jason Eagles

      Dont give up, im still here (crying my eyes out right now) but I know it will get better. I will be praying for you. I fucking hate this world, and I cant take it either, I feel so alone, but I know God has a plan for me, and you. Never give up. Add me on facebook, if you want to talk

  • James

    People can’t be trusted. Apart from immediate family, I have no more friends. Once my children are old enough to support themselves, I’m out. I’m simply going to walk into the forest, and that’s that. Life is a series of cuts, scrapes, bruises & stabs in the back. No matter what they tell you, you will never know the true nature of any other human. The only solace in life comes from the ones who have just enough conscience to not slide their knife into you. I haven’t known that peace for the last 20 years. I’m so empty & lonely I have nothing left to offer & I don’t want to meet another new person for the rest of my life. I don’t know what difference it makes by posting this, as I won’t be back to read comments. Enjoy yourself, because you could be just as empty as me.

  • Peter Johnston Thor

    I don’t trust anybody anymore, I’m left recently feeling so betrayed that it fills every corner of my mind and I can’t help it. I feel like I’m going to whither away in sheer loneliness. I try telling myself that there are people out there I could be happy with but such friendship seems a little like a fairytale. I don’t know what to do or where to go.

  • PattyFromTexas

    I was terribly neglected, abused and finally abandoned as a small child and never learned to trust. 55 years old now, I don’t think it’s possible for me to ever learn how.

  • Steff

    I find it easier to trust in the beginning and then as time goes on and they’re more important in my life I find it difficult to trust. Because in the beginning, I’m not really trusting them with anything too important so it’s easy to trust them. It’s when I’ve given them more of myself that it gets rough. Because that betrayal will hurt that much more and I’ll lose whatever faith in the human condition I’ve managed to build up since the last time I went through it. If that makes any sense to anyone.

    • Thien

      I totally identify with that. You go out on a limb, just when you think you can finally trust this person. And that is the exact moment she lets you down. Makes you wonder.

  • asif maner

    It’s all very true. Every single sentence. I think I am screwed now.I don’t know what to do.how can I trust other people?people will do anything to make their situations better..they lie they betray they hide things.they will only say things that you wanna hear..and hide those things that may get them into trouble by telling them to you.people always hide things. That’s what I believe. Why would someone tell you the truth while he/she knows that you would leave them after that..you will wind up in a fight may be..they will always try to avoid that situation by hiding the truth.that’s what human beings do literally.

  • Elin Thulin

    The 9th picture, which movie does it come from? Please answer <33

  • Chantelle

    I also have a hard time trusting people. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but it is hard to trust people at first. I don’t even know why I do it, but I just do.

    • Luci Bloom

      Maybe it’s because it feels bad to not trust. I think humans are built to trust other people. Because we are tribal and need community, we have to rely on each other at least to some degree…but people prove themselves to be not worthy of our trust time and time again, so it’s no wonder everyone has trust issues.
      I used to be too trusting, but I learned the hard way that not even your own parents can be trusted…and sometimes they are the worst culprits.

      • alexia

        We feel we need to trust because society promotes the idea of marriage, friendship, etc. We feel pressured into it. In reality people aren’t very trustworthy overall, especially not men if you expect them to be monogamous. Unfortunately, human nature is selfish and nasty. Very few of us are mostly good and even then there’s always some evil lurking in us. For example, I’m a generally good person and adored my kids with all might but when I got overwhelmed with their autism, it seemed like a great idea to kill them. Of course I didn’t act on it and I got them help. But my point is that if even good people can get evil, human nature isn’t trustworthy. It’s selfish, unpredictable, primitive. Trust no one.