I spent the majority of my weekend at the pool in a bikini, which was awesome. Except for the fact that wearing a bikini sucks because bikinis cover approximately three inches of skin. My bikini top did indeed fall down at one point, and, yes, it was embarrassing.
I love being at the pool and beach, but rocking a swimsuit can be horrible sometimes:
1. Your top can come off with the slightest movement.
2. You’re worried about your nipples getting hard if there’s no padding.
3. If you go in the water, your butt looks like a saggy, wet mess.
You’re basically wearing a wet diaper.
4. You have to squeeze a bunch of water out of your top.
Or it just dribbles down your body.
5. The horror of tan lines:
6. You have constant wedgies.
7. If you’re at the beach, there is a lot of sand-chafing.
8. Your skin gets that “I’ve been wet for too long” feeling.
You know what I’m talking about.
9. There’s a big risk of getting a yeast infection if you sit around in your wet bathing suit.
Do not want.
10. And things don’t smell great when you’ve been in and out of the water all day.
11. Everything is just so tight.
Camel toes are inevitable.
12. They’re not really comfortable at all.
How are bathing suits so much less comfortable than underwear and bras?
13. You can’t sit down anywhere without leaving a wet butt-print.
14. And you get wet boob stains on your cover-up because tops take so long to dry.
15. If you want to avoid awkward tan lines, you have to unfasten something, which you might forget about when you sit up.
And you’ll end up flashing everyone.
16. You get lots of unwanted attention.
Like, can I live?
17. They can make you feel incredibly self-conscious.
Even though you look flawless no matter what!