5 Comment Questions: What Do You Do When You Like Your BFF’s Brother?

If you happen to be a neurotic over-thinker like me, having a crush on someone can sometimes feel like the scariest thing in the world. What if they find out? What if they don’t like you back? What if you tell them you like them and then they laugh at you and you cry in front of them? (I told you I was neurotic). This intimidating nature of having crushes goes way up when you have a crush on someone you aren’t sure you’re even allowed to like like- say, for example, your best friend’s brother. Yikes. Many of you, it seems, have been dealing with this issue. It’s definitely tough, because you can’t even talk to your usual crush confidante (your best friend) because there’s no saying how she’ll react.


But don’t worry, Gurl is here! Below are five of your questions on what to do when you like your best friend’s brother.

This Party Has Everything: My Best Friend, Her Older Brother, My Developing Crush On Said Brother…

Yesterday I was at my best friend’s birthday party and her older brother was there. He is 3 years older than me, and he was talking to me the whole time and making jokes. I don’t know if he was just trying to be friendly but he was acting a tinnnnyyyyy bit flirty. I don’t know if my best friend would be pissed but I really like him and I don’t know what to do…HELP! –Anonymous

Hi, Anonymous:

It seems like things are very much in the beginning stages here- which is good! If you really want to pursue your crush (which I will get to in a second) I would definitely try to talk to your best friend about it first. First of all, this will help you see what her reaction would be (if she doesn’t like you having a crush, she probably won’t like it if you start dating either). Just mention to her that at her birthday party the other day, it seemed like her brother was pretty flirty and now you think you like him, and see what she has to say about that. (Pro tip: Do this ASAP, so she still has her post-birthday happiness goin’ on).

If she’s cool with it, she can probably help you figure out what her brother’s actions mean. Right now, it seems like those could go in either way. It could be that he likes you, but he could also just be really friendly (I’ve heard some people are good at that). It all depends. I think the best thing you can do right now is be totally up front with your best friend about it, and take it from there. Good luck!



A Not-So-Normal Sleepover

I had a sleepover at my best friend’s house like I usually do, but this time her brother slept next to me. In the middle of the night he kissed me, and for 3 straight hours we were making out and basically getting it on. We didn’t have sex or anything, but I feel like I f****ed up since my best friend was fast asleep just on the other side of me. I do not have a crush on him, it was a one night thing. Should I tell her it happened or should I keep it to myself? He promised not to tell…- Marie J.

Hi, Marie:

Hmmm. Your friend’s brother seems to be a problematic individual (based off of the information that you have given me. He could be perfectly lovely IRL). But going off of what I do know, my advice is to definitely tell your friend. If you feel at all guilty or conflicted about what happened, the best thing to do is get it off your chest now. She’ll probably be mad, but it’s best to tell her as soon as possible rather than have it come up later (and it will. Things like this always have a way of revealing themselves at the most inconvenient moment), when you and her brother have been keeping the secret from her together. Just tell her that you’re very sorry, but you and her brother had a bit of a moment (no need to go into detail) during your last sleepover, but you aren’t planning on it happening ever again (unless you are. Are you?). Tell her you value your friendship with her, which is why you are telling her now. Like I said, she’ll probably feel betrayed and angry, but it’s much better that she knows now. Best of luck!


My Best Friend Is Out Of Town, So I Started Dating Her Brother

My best friend’s brother and I just started dating. The thing is, his sister is out of town and doesn’t know. We planned on breaking the news to her together when she gets back, but we have a feeling she already knows from social media sites. She hasn’t tried to contact either of us. He thinks she would be fine with the fact we are dating. I really like him, but I’m scared what will happen if she doesn’t approve. I want to know, do you think we should see this out to the end or just break it off now? My best friend was dropping hints that he liked me before we started dating. And I’m not sure she would do that if she didn’t approve of us dating. What do you think?- Emilianna

Hi Emilianna,

As my advice has been to the previous commenters, tell her! No need to break it off just yet. If she already knows, she’ll be expecting it. Even if not, it does seem like she had some inkling that he, at least, liked you before. And I agree that she wouldn’t have dropped hints if she wouldn’t approve. So, I say to send her a quick text/ email/ carrier pigeon/ some smoke signals (your options are limitless, really) saying that you have some news to tell her when she gets back from wherever she is. I’m not sure if I would break the news with her brother- it makes it seems like a Very Serious Conversation in a way that might not be necessary- but that’s just me. Good luck!


Crushin’ on My Bestie’s Twin

I’m 13, almost 14, and I have a MAJOR crush on my best friend’s twin brother. I have a suspicion that she might know, but I’m not sure. It’s killing me not telling her, but I know she would kill me if she knew. I have no idea what to do!!!!! Help!!! –AMP

Hey, AMP:

This is tough! Are you 100% certain that she would be super mad if she knew? If there’s some room for doubt there, I might just tell her (shocker, I know). It seems like it’s taking a lot out of you to not tell her, and you’ll feel a lot better once it’s out in the open. If you are sure that she would be so mad to the point of ending your friendship or anything like that, however, I would hold off. Wait and see how your feelings for her twin develop and if you’re still crushing after a while, you can tell her then. Good luck!


My Overprotective Brother’s Friend Likes Me, But Now He Can’t Talk To Me

My brother’s friend, who is two years older than me, had a thing for me. He texted my brother and told him he liked me but my brother is really overprotective so he wouldn’t let his friend talk to me and got really mad. What should I do?- Catie

Hi Catie:

Well, this is a super annoying situation. I see why your brother might be mad- he probably just thinks of you as his little sister, so it was most likely pretty disorienting for him when one of his friends said he liked you- but it’s definitely not cool of him to control who gets to talk to you. You never said whether you like this friend back or not, but regardless, let your brother know that you are your own person and you can decide who gets to talk to you. You can also ask him why he didn’t want his friend to talk to you- maybe the friend is secretly a terrible person when it comes to dating girls, so he feels like he’s protecting you. So, yeah. Talk it out with your brother and then maybe you can reach some resolution in regards to his friend! Take care.


Have you ever had a crush on a friend’s brother? What did you do? Let us know in the comments!

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5 Comment Questions: What To Do When Your Crush Already Has a Girlfriend

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  • Kat

    So I’m 16, and I like my best friends step brother (before their parents got married they had a thing) and he likes me, yesterday he and I were cuddling and then we started making out and then we kinda had sex. Today my friend is upset and I asked what’s wrong and she said “let’s just say I’m sneaky and I know things” so I feel like she knows. The problem with that is that he’s 18 and I’m clearly not. And I consented to it so idk what’s gonna happen. I mean, she is probably totally pissed at me but won’t tell me. She says it’s not me. I feel like if she did know, she will tell her parents and then I wouldn’t be able to date him. I don’t know what to do..

  • Lisa Macman

    Okay I am 15 Years old. I’m going to turn sixteen next year. So I had a really big crush on my best friends brother for three years. I told my best friend about it and she didn’t really care. I’ve know my best friend for five years now. So it started when I was 13 I told my best friend when I Started to have feelings for him. So One night three years later when I was 14 I spent the night at my best friends house and when i got there her brother was flirting like crazy. I flirted back because I had a huge crush on him. We went out to eat and then we went back to my best friends house. Everyone went to sleep but me and him. So we watched tv on the couch then he started to kiss me. Of course I kissed him back because I had a HUGE crush I mean HUGE crush. We made out for about the rest of the night until two in the morning. And we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Only we could not tell our parents or anybody. Although I told his sister because she is my best friend. She could have not been a better friend about the situation. She did not care. Me and Her brother than broke up. We still kept in contact until he got another girlfriend. I kept going over to her house and hanging out with her but her brother would be weird to hang out with. He wouldn’t talk. Then one night I was Hanging out with her and we went out on her family boat at night. It was super fun. Then we went back to her house and everyone went to sleep me and her brother were watching tv. Her brother then started flirting with me and then again he started kissing me. I kissed him back because I still had feelings for him. We made out again for the longest time. Then he went up to his room and we both fell asleep. In different rooms. Everybody got up and we went out on the boat. We had to act like nothing happened. When the family was dropping me off at my house I told him that I had a question for him and i would text him later. Well I fell asleep after I texted him. When i woke up in the morning I texted him and he texted me back. I asked him my question. He said he still had feelings for me and he cared for me. So we became friends with benefits. We kept on texting each other. Then my mother found out that I was talking to him and that I had made out with him. She forbade me to talk to him and I could not go over to my best friends house. She called his mom and everything was out in the open. I know I am forbidden to talk to him and like him but why do I still like him.

  • Elizabeth L.

    I been sleeping with my bffs brother for a couple of months already. My bff totally knows and is super cool with it. Since I spend so much time at my bffs house I see and sleep with her brother most of the time when he’s in town and not working. The problem is that I think I’m falling for him. I know he doesn’t want a gf and I keep telling myself I don’t want a nd but I don’t know how to just keep it a hook up. It’s so hard to just not sleep with him, like I said earlier were always around eachother. I don’t know what to do to stop my feelings ugh.

  • Faith

    I’m 14, and I used to live in Massachusetts before I moved to Alabama. I was really good friends with a girl I knew for a year. (I only live in Massachusetts for two years.) And she introduced me to her brother. I liked him almost immediately. And apparently he had liked me months before I had. He’s a year older and my parents are kind of protective, I’m going to Massachusetts in a couple of days. What am I supposed to say/do?!?! P.S I still like him and he likes me.

    • Jessica

      Go for it !! I was in the Same situation, it’ll be fine don’t worry 🙂

  • Taylor

    I have a huge crush on my best friends brother. He is two years younger than me and in my sisters class. Awkward! I am 16 and he is 14. What should I do? I have been around him all my life. People always teased him about having a crush on me. I am afraid he really doesn’t, but I don’t know.. Help!!!!!!!!!

  • Claudia

    i’m 14 and i have a big crush on my friends older brother, he’s 2 years older than me, he is so sweet and kind he gave me his jacket because i was cold. our families are really close and i practically live their, i can’t tell if he flirting or just being nice… i don’t know what to do, my bff would just make fun of the fact that i like him because our family thinks we so cute together, besides the point i would get so nervous to even tell home i like him or what if he just think of me as his sisters friend, NEED HELP!!?

  • Stephanie Helms

    My bestie since like third grade and her big brother go to church with me and started to develop a crush on him. I have good reason to; he is amazing with kids, he is soooo kind and he just makes my heart flutter every time. I really think he likes me, but i don’t know how to tell him or his sister how I feel. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Shannon

    I like my bestfriend brother and I have for 9 years on and off but they all so live next door but one to me and we go camping and stuff and we secretly do stuff and sc each other but sometimes he hears me say something to his sister / my bestfriend and he blockes me but this time i feel its different this time what shall I do

  • Shannon

    I like my bestfriend brother and I have for 9 years on and off but they all so live next door but one to me and we go camping and stuff and we secretly do stuff and sc each other but sometimes he hears me say something to his sister / my bestfriend and he blockes me but this time i feel its different this time what shall I do I don’t want to tell him this is time please help me

  • Shannon

    I like my bestfriend brother and I have for 9 years on and off but they all so live next door but one to me and we go camping and stuff and we secretly do stuff and sc each other but sometimes he hears me say something to his sister / my bestfriend and he blockes me but this time i feel its different this time what shall I do I don’t want to tell him this is time please help me Snapchat me about it because I’m scared and comfused my snapchat shan1907