Ask A Guy: What Should You Do If Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Trust You?

Hey Joel,

So I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year. We have great chemistry, and I really don’t want this to end. Lately, my boyfriend has been so jealous. He gets jealous because of how I dress. He gets jealous of me talking to other boys. Every time I go out with my friends, we fight because he thinks I’m going to cheat on him. I need help!

There are few things that can kill even the strongest of relationships quicker than runaway jealousy. After a year together, it’s concerning that he is still acting in the ways you describe. At first, a bit of insecurity is understandable, but once you’ve both committed completely to one another, that sort of thing should fade quickly.

Although it’s normal, jealousy is a very childish emotion, and it tends to pinpoint a lack of maturity, trust, or self confidence. You can also make the argument that not trusting someone to such the lengthy extent you describe shows a lack of respect, and you should NEVER be in a relationship where you aren’t respected to the max.

You can have the best chemistry in the history of humanity, but without a solid base of trust between you, the relationship doesn’t stand much of a chance for the long term. Most people only see trust equating to telling the truth, but trusting your partner also applies to how they live their life when out with friends, on the phone, etc. Both are 100% necessary for long term success.

At its core, jealousy stems from personal insecurity, and if he takes issue with how you dress and who you’re going out with, it sounds like that is exactly what’s causing his behavior. You can do your best to assure him that he has nothing to worry about, but if it’s been going on since you first met, it’s unlikely to change.

All you can really do is reassure him that he’s the one you want to be with, and let him know that his jealous actions are having a negative impact on your relationship. If he can’t get things under control, it’s probably time to part ways and find yourself a guy who is confident enough in themselves to love you and let you live your life – and that means having a life of your own, as well as your life together.

Best of luck!
Joel

Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube.. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

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