In case you haven’t heard, having unprotected sex is a bad idea. I mean, I’m sure you have heard that before. And I’m sure you also know that it’s not always so easy to keep things super safe.
Maybe you choose to go at it sans condom just this once. Or maybe you have an accidental run in with unprotected sex after missing a few too many birth control pills. No matter the reason, it’s scary! Not to mention risky.
That’s why this week, we are addressing all of your questions about unprotected sex that you are too afraid to ask your mom. Yes, we all know it’s bad. But things happen. And here’s how to deal.
I Had Unprotected Sex…Am I Pregnant?
“My boyfriend and I had unprotected sex for literally about 10 seconds before we both freaked out when we realized what we were doing. He definitely didn’t ejaculate inside me or anything, but still my period was due today and it hasn’t come. I’m freaking out! Am I worrying too much? Should I be panicking more?!” — Cecelia
Unprotected sex is unprotected sex is unprotected sex. This means that no matter if he ejaculated or not, there was still an exchange of fluids occurring when his P entered your V. Precum can have sperm still floating around in there, meaning that the sex, 10 seconds or not, was risky.
Your period was only supposed to come today, so I wouldn’t hit the panic button just yet. It’s too late to take Plan B, so instead take a deep breath. And maybe a pregnancy test if this period doesn’t show up soon. Are you pregnant? Well, you could be given the behavior you engaged in. You just have to wait for Aunt Flo to come knocking and greet her with open arms! The best way to prevent this in the future? Use protection. Forever and always. Until you actually want to get pregnant.
Did I Just Have Unprotected Sex?!
“I forgot to take my birth control pills three days in a row this week. I had sex without a condom last night, and then remembered I didn’t take them! So I took two last night. But that was after we had sex. Did I technically have unprotected sex?” — Sherry
When you forget your birth control pill, usually you can take it next day and be fine. If you miss two days, general rule states to take two pills one day and two pills the next. That will make you on schedule again. Nothin’ to worry about. But three pills? That’s when we get into murky territory. You should really contact your doctor to find out your next step because three pills is a lot to skip!
Any time you forget a pill there is a risk of an egg being released from your ovaries — be it one forgotten pill or three. You should really double up on contraception until you finish your pill pack for extra security. Now, you’ve already had sex. So it’s a little too late to double up for that instance! You technically did have somewhat unprotected sex, so you should look out for anything that makes you think “pregnancy.” But don’t freak! Being on the pill makes you a little more protected than someone not on the pill, which is the good news. Just be committed to your birth control from now on! And breathe.
I Don’t Want To Tell My Mom I’m Sexually Active!
“I always have unprotected sex with my boyfriend. I don’t want to though because I’m scared of just relying on the pull out method. I want to ask my mom if I can have the pill, but I’m scared to do that, too. I don’t know how she’ll react! Please help.” — Ashley
You should be scared of the pull out method because it simply does. not. work. You need to be using some form of contraception, like condoms or the pill, every time you have sex. If not, you not only risk pregnancy, but STD and STI transmission. So let’s not do that! If you refuse to talk to your mom about all of this, hit up your local corner store for some condoms. They are cheap and effective (when used correctly).
BUT! I promise that talking to your mom probably isn’t as bad as you think it would be! Sex is a weird topic for children to bring up to their parents because it’s awkward. But it’s super important to do! Even if your mom has a less than appealing reaction, I bet she will want to help you practice safe sex. It’s better than ignoring your desires and knowing you’re out there fooling around without any barriers! A parent’s role is to protect you. And she should want to help you protect yourself. So start the conversation…and tell her exactly how you feel!
Is It Really Better Sans Condom?
“My boyfriend wants to have unprotected sex because he says it will feel better without a condom. But I obviously don’t want to. Will he really have more pleasure without a condom? What should I do?” —Anonymous
You don’t want to have sex without a condom, right? Right. Then don’t! It’s really as simple as that. You deserve to have complete control over what you do and don’t do in the bedroom. And you’re being super smart by wanting to use protection. Your boyfriend needs to respect that. And he should be supporting you!
Now, if you BOTH decide to lay off the condoms, then make sure you are consistently using some form of alternative contraception. You know, like the pill or an IUD. But, for now, use a condom or kick your boyfriend out of bed. And be sure to tell him there are several studies that actually say condoms have little effect on pleasure during sex! In fact, some studies say condoms can actually make sex better by making both partners more comfortable. Point is, protection is totally needed. And you deserve to have a sex life that’s in your control!
Does My BF Really Control His Ejaculations?
“My boyfriend always wants to have sex without a condom. He says he has “control” over his ejaculations, so I won’t get pregnant. Should I trust him?” – Anonymous
Easy answer: NO! In a previous question, I talked a little about precum, which can still have sperm present. And, yes, that means it can still make you pregnant. It’s what makes the pull out method really, really faulty. So that’s one reason enough why you should always use a protection. The other thing is that he probably doesn’t have control over when he ejaculates. Not completely, at least. So this want of his is very, very risky all around. You are so right to have doubts!
It’s also concerning that he’s pushing you to do something sexually that you hesitant about. That’s not okay! You deserve to have your boundaries respected, so talk to this out with your boo and stand your ground. You two should be using some form of protection when gettin’ down. And if you don’t want to go on birth control, he should be wrapping it up. Period. If he refuses, he should be ready to kiss hooking up goodbye! Period.
Do you have any more questions about unprotected sex? Any other sexual questions you need answered? Ask ’em in the comments below!