If we’re being honest, teacher crushes are a pretty standard part of growing up. You spend a lot of time in school hanging out with instructors. You get to know their personalities and they becomes a part of your everyday life. You admire them and look up to them — and even maybe develop a little, tiny crush on them.
Or a huge, gigantic crush. But hey, who’s counting!? It happens! You’ll never hear us deny you that fact.Yet, teacher crushes are delicate territory. Sure, they do happen. But they can’t actually go anywhere. And that fact is sometimes hard to come to terms with.
Need help with all your teacher crush conundrums? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Learn how to deal with your crush respectfully and maturely here!
“I have a crush on my world studies teacher. There’s nothing too huge going on. I just think he’s attractive and think about kissing him. But it kind of freaks me out! Are the thoughts I’m having weird?” — Rose
The thoughts you are having are totally not weird! So many girls (and boys) have teacher crushes that leave them a little breathless. Teacher crushes happen to a ton of people! So, no worries. You definitely are not a freak for having one! In fact, I’d say you are pretty normal.
The important thing to come to terms with is that this crush only exists in your daydreams. Think of it like the crush you have on your fave celebrity. It’s unrealistic, if we’re being (sadly) honest. Come on, we can’t all marry Harry. It’s just not going to happen. Realizing your crush limitations when it comes to teacher adoration is super important. It will help you keep your emotions in check and not get too invested in a fantasy pairing. So no, there’s no shame in having a teacher crush. But keep a level head. And don’t forget to notice the cuties your age all around you! Trust me, they are there. Good luck!
“I have a teacher crush. He’s five years older than me. I like him because he’s nice, funny, smart, and we have good conversations. I want to tell him how I feel not because I want a relationship, but to get closure so I can move on. Do you think I should do it?” — Anonymous
Let’s cut right to the chase. I don’t think you should tell your hottie teacher about your crush. That might sound harsh, especially since I’m usually all about being open with your feelings. But let me explain. You’re just going to make things awkward for yourself — and your teacher. The closure you’re craving isn’t dependent on you telling him how you feel. It’s something you can provide for yourself.
What you need to do is realize that your crush is just a fantasy. You can’t be with your teacher and nothing will come of your crush. It sounds harsh, but it’s true. Sure, you can (and will) have a crush even if you are super conscious of all this. But knowing the limitations of that crush (and accepting them!) is key to closure. That’s something you can — and should — do solo. Good luck!
“I’m in middle school and I have a huge crush on my 29-year-old orchestra teacher. He’s funny, cute, sweet, and really good at playing the cello! When he tunes my cello, he always shows off by playing my favorite song. He also calls me beautiful, and he tells me how wonderful I am. I would love to be with him, but I know we can both get into serious trouble. But he’s just the person I need. What should I do?” — Jacquelyn
I think you already know what is the right thing to do. Like you said, if anything develops more than a student/teacher relationship, it could mean serious trouble for the teacher you’re into. And you definitely don’t need that drama in your life. I think you need to realize he isn’t the person you need, he is the person you want. He is simply a crush, and not a realistic option as a BF. Sure, you can admire his cello skills and his personality. You can even have a crush. But torturing yourself by seeing him and only him isn’t good for you. Again, we’re back to being realistic about the limits of this crush.
There’s also something really important to mention here. Depending on the context of what your teacher is saying to you, he could be flirting. That may send butterflies to your stomach, but it should also set off red flags. If you feel like your relationship is crossing into dangerous territory, you should probably speak to an adult you trust about the whole situation. Get their opinion and get help if the teacher is crossing boundaries outside of a friendly student/teacher relationship. Trust me, do this and you’ll thank yourself later — even if it’s difficult now. Good luck!
“Why shouldn’t teenage girls be able to experiment with older people? If a guy likes a girl and that girl likes the guy, that should be all that matters. I honestly don’t give a damn about the law. Even if he’s your teacher, who said he’s abusing his powers by being with you? Just because a guy is teacher and likes you doesn’t mean he’s trying to manipulate you!” — Anonymous
This comment is riddled with rhetorical questions that don’t necessarily ask for an answer. But I feel like you need to hear some advice, so here it goes. There is a lot wrong with a teen experimenting with a teacher — or any older person, for that matter. Teens need different things out of a relationship than an adult can give. They need mutual respect and a partner who is an equal, not another parent. A teen is at a totally different place in life than an adult, which actually matters a lot when starting a relationship. So it doesn’t matter how mature the teen acts or how mature the teen looks. Age is just a number that means a whole lot when it comes to teens becoming involved with adults.
And you should give a damn about the law because it is there for a reason. Current laws regarding adolescent/adult relationships are in place to protect young people. A teacher who truly cares appropriately for a teen and is looking out for their best interests will follow these laws without even having to think about them! Needless to say, a teacher who does get involved with a student inappropriately is definitely abusing their powers. Teachers are professionals who are there to support students academically. They are not paid to flirt or to find love. They have a job to do. And that job does not involve preying on teens, which is exactly what a teacher in a relationship with a student is doing. End of story.
“We just recently got a new English teacher this year. He is single and in his mid-twenties — and I have a major crush on him. He is smart and funny and just a great guy all-around. The other day, my girl friend blurted out in class about me having a crush on him. It’s so awkward to go to class now! What do I do?!” — Anonymous
Girl, this sucks! While I know it’s definitely an awkward situation, there are ways to handle it so you aren’t cringing every time you enter English class. First, talk to your friend. It may seem like the damage is already done, but you definitely don’t want this happening again. Tell her that you are disappointed she spilled your secret crush in class, and that English is now super uncomfortable for you and that’ s not okay. You deserve a comfortable class environment that won’t inhibit you from learning. Your friend took that away from you, so you need to (politely) call her out. For her sake and your piece of mind.
Secondly, if you feel really distracted and troubled by what happened, talk to the school counselor. Teacher crushes are not news to them and they’ve totally heard it all before. They will probably give you fabulous tactics on how to deal according to your specific school environment and personal situation. You really can’t ask for more.
Third, you can always chat with your teacher! I know this seems awkward. But, hey, he already knows about your crush! There’s nothing to lose. Tell him you realize the limitations of your crush (duh, you learned all about it here!), but your friend’s big mouth has you majorly embarrassed and distracted in class. I’m sure he will work through it with you. Teachers are used to students crushing on them. It comes with the territory. As long as you realize that nothing can come of your adoration, you will be fine. And working through this awkward situation will make you stronger in the long run, even if you are cringing now! Good luck!
Do you have a teacher crush? How do you plan to deal with it? Let’s chat all about it in the comments below!