5 Of Your Burning Questions About Teacher Crushes, Answered

If we’re being honest, teacher crushes are a pretty standard part of growing up. You spend a lot of time in school hanging out with instructors. You get to know their personalities and they becomes a part of your everyday life. You admire them and look up to them — and even maybe develop a little, tiny crush on them.

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Or a huge, gigantic crush. But hey, who’s counting!? It happens! You’ll never hear us deny you that fact.Yet, teacher crushes are delicate territory. Sure, they do happen. But they can’t actually go anywhere. And that fact is sometimes hard to come to terms with.

Need help with all your teacher crush conundrums? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Learn how to deal with your crush respectfully and maturely here!

 

“I have a crush on my world studies teacher. There’s nothing too huge going on. I just think he’s attractive and think about kissing him. But it kind of freaks me out! Are the thoughts I’m having weird?”Rose

The thoughts you are having are totally not weird! So many girls (and boys) have teacher crushes that leave them a little breathless. Teacher crushes happen to a ton of people! So, no worries. You definitely are not a freak for having one! In fact, I’d say you are pretty normal.

The important thing to come to terms with is that this crush only exists in your daydreams. Think of it like the crush you have on your fave celebrity. It’s unrealistic, if we’re being (sadly) honest. Come on, we can’t all marry Harry. It’s just not going to happen. Realizing your crush limitations when it comes to teacher adoration is super important. It will help you keep your emotions in check and not get too invested in a fantasy pairing. So no, there’s no shame in having a teacher crush. But keep a level head. And don’t forget to notice the cuties your age all around you! Trust me, they are there. Good luck!

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“I have a teacher crush. He’s five years older than me. I like him because he’s nice, funny, smart, and we have good conversations. I want to tell him how I feel not because I want a relationship, but to get closure so I can move on. Do you think I should do it?”Anonymous

Let’s cut right to the chase. I don’t think you should tell your hottie teacher about your crush. That might sound harsh, especially since I’m usually all about being open with your feelings. But let me explain. You’re just going to make things awkward for yourself — and your teacher. The closure you’re craving isn’t dependent on you telling him how you feel. It’s something you can provide for yourself.

What you need to do is realize that your crush is just a fantasy. You can’t be with your teacher and nothing will come of your crush. It sounds harsh, but it’s true. Sure, you can (and will) have a crush even if you are super conscious of all this. But knowing the limitations of that crush (and accepting them!) is key to closure. That’s something you can — and should — do solo. Good luck!

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“I’m in middle school and I have a huge crush on my 29-year-old orchestra teacher. He’s funny, cute, sweet, and really good at playing the cello! When he tunes my cello, he always shows off by playing my favorite song. He also calls me beautiful, and he tells me how wonderful I am. I would love to be with him, but I know we can both get into serious trouble. But he’s just the person I need. What should I do?” — Jacquelyn

I think you already know what is the right thing to do. Like you said, if anything develops more than a student/teacher relationship, it could mean serious trouble for the teacher you’re into. And you definitely don’t need that drama in your life. I think you need to realize he isn’t the person you need, he is the person you want. He is simply a crush,  and not a realistic option as a BF. Sure, you can admire his cello skills and his personality. You can even have a crush. But torturing yourself by seeing him and only him isn’t good for you. Again, we’re back to being realistic about the limits of this crush.

There’s also something really important to mention here. Depending on the context of what your teacher is saying to you, he could be flirting. That may send butterflies to your stomach, but it should also set off red flags. If you feel like your relationship is crossing into dangerous territory, you should probably speak to an adult you trust about the whole situation. Get their opinion and get help if the teacher is crossing boundaries outside of a friendly student/teacher relationship. Trust me, do this and you’ll thank yourself later — even if it’s difficult now. Good luck!

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“Why shouldn’t teenage girls be able to experiment with older people? If a guy likes a girl and that girl likes the guy, that should be all that matters. I honestly don’t give a damn about the law. Even if he’s your teacher, who said he’s abusing his powers by being with you? Just because a guy is teacher and likes you doesn’t mean he’s trying to manipulate you!”Anonymous

This comment is riddled with rhetorical questions that don’t necessarily ask for an answer. But I feel like you need to hear some advice, so here it goes. There is a lot wrong with a teen experimenting with a teacher — or any older person, for that matter. Teens need different things out of a relationship than an adult can give. They need mutual respect and a partner who is an equal, not another parent. A teen is at a totally different place in life than an adult, which actually matters a lot when starting a relationship. So it doesn’t matter how mature the teen acts or how mature the teen looks. Age is just a number that means a whole lot when it comes to teens becoming involved with adults.

And you should give a damn about the law because it is there for a reason. Current laws regarding adolescent/adult relationships are in place to protect young people. A teacher who truly cares appropriately for a teen and is looking out for their best interests will follow these laws without even having to think about them! Needless to say, a teacher who does get involved with a student inappropriately  is definitely abusing their powers. Teachers are professionals who are there to support students academically. They are not paid to flirt or to find love. They have a job to do. And that job does not involve preying on teens, which is exactly what a teacher in a relationship with a student is doing. End of story.

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“We just recently got a new English teacher this year. He is single and in his mid-twenties — and I have a major crush on him. He is smart and funny and just a great guy all-around. The other day, my girl friend blurted out in class about me having a crush on him. It’s so awkward to go to class now! What do I do?!”Anonymous

Girl, this sucks! While I know it’s definitely an awkward situation, there are ways to handle it so you aren’t cringing every time you enter English class. First, talk to your friend. It may seem like the damage is already done, but you definitely don’t want this happening again. Tell her that you are disappointed she spilled your secret crush in class, and that English is now super uncomfortable for you and that’ s not okay. You deserve a comfortable class environment that won’t inhibit you from learning. Your friend took that away from you, so you need to (politely) call her out. For her sake and your piece of mind.

Secondly, if you feel really distracted and troubled by what happened, talk to the school counselor. Teacher crushes are not news to them and they’ve totally heard it all before. They will probably give you fabulous tactics on how to deal according to your specific school environment and personal situation. You really can’t ask for more.

Third, you can always chat with your teacher! I know this seems awkward. But, hey, he already knows about your crush! There’s nothing to lose. Tell him you realize the limitations of your crush (duh, you learned all about it here!), but your friend’s big mouth has you majorly embarrassed and distracted in class. I’m sure he will work through it with you. Teachers are used to students crushing on them. It comes with the territory. As long as you realize that nothing can come of your adoration, you will be fine. And working through this awkward situation will make you stronger  in the long run, even if you are cringing now! Good luck!

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Do you have a teacher crush? How do you plan to deal with it? Let’s chat all about it in the comments below!

 

What it really feels like to have a crush on a teacher, in GIFs

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  • Someone

    Hello.
    I’m not sure about talk about this, is all so confusing and I don’t speak english too well, I still learning.
    Okay, I’ll start. I was just ten years when I falled in love. With him. It’s always him. One day, when I was 11, one of my “friends” told all class who is my crush, just for kidding. He always knew it, I don’t know how.
    It was a long time ago and he still being my teacher (spanish teacher). I don’t know nothing about spanish, but I know he called me one time, and told something like: “everything is okay, my honey, my love… don’t worry about it”. He was drunk, I know. Last year, on the last day of class, my classmates maked a party and he was there, I was really crazy, and laugh at the time I saw him and he hold my hand and look at my eyes, and I think he’ll kiss me, but he just look away and said: “I just want to know what time is it”, and look at my watch and go away – BUT HE HAS A WATCH. We never talk about it, we never talk about nothing, but he’s always here, sitting on a chair close to me, doing things to make me happy, being jealous when I’m with someone else, smiling to me… I just love this man. But… I don’t know what I’ll talk, it’s so confusing, I can’t appear and tell: “hey, man, you know I love you, so just kiss me, I can’t wait more”.

  • chikima

    heyy!! so theres this new English assistant teacher at my school that takes our class quite regularly because my normal teacher is usually busy with helping other classes and work around the school. I have a moderate crush on her though I’m worried It might be getting too far strung, she’s just an amazing soul and beautiful nerd. I have tests coming up and tons of work I need to focus on in the subject, but feel like I cant really get over her, gurrl could you please help,im 16 btw x

  • Anonymous

    My school has this one history teacher. I’ll call him Mr. D for his privacy and he recently turned 29. I am a sixteen yo girl btw.

    At first we had an instant connection, but I viewed him more as a brotherly type of character because my older brothers in real life are close to his age, but over time my feelings started to get stronger. I tried many times to make him look disgusting in my head but it always failed. I tried to find someone to talk to about it, but I didn’t want him to get him into serious legal trouble. I even have a boyfriend who’s just amazing as Mr. D but I haven’t even talked to him about it! I feel like an awful person, because I actually had vividly beautiful dreams with him, like he would come home and I’d be his little wife-y making him dinners and asking about his day. Sometimes I feel like a slut sometimes BECAUSE of my crush and connection to him.

    I mean, Mr. D is goofy, nerdy, down-right adorable, and tries really hard. I guess I just founded those traits attractive enough. It’s coming to the point where I look forward to his class and lessons, get defensive when people say that he’s cringe-y because he likes DC and Marvel. I hate this feeling because I know it’s not meant to be, but I concluded him into fantasy world like a obsessive witch.

    I need help. ASAP

  • Sneha

    I have a big crush on my tution teacher…he used to came home to gave me tutions every day..since 2 yrs…in starting I had not these feelings. .But frm almost 4 months I m getting attracted towards him…I like him tlkng to me..his jokes…he also sometime paly games with me…he is more than a teacher..he is 21 n I am 14..he is smart handsome n fair…bt nw he got a job n he lives smwhere else….we used to talk on fb…bt I am badly missing him… I don’t knw wht to do…I can’t tell him about my feelings

  • Anonymous

    Okay so I know people here seem to be asking what to do about a teacher crush but my problem is a bit different. I am almost for certain that I don’t have a crush on this teacher, who happens to be our school principal. At the beginning of this school year I was going through some personal things and he happened to be the person I went to talk to. We were getting close but in a more friendship type of way. Well one day a didn’t have much time to talk so I left him a note on his desk about some of the new things that I needed to discuss, one of them being our relationship. The next time I tried to talk to him he told me that he thought I needed to go talk to the school counselor about my problems from this point on. I was really confused until I got home later that day to find out that he had called my parents and expressed his concerns about me possibly having a crush on him when I had said nothing about that at all. Now I am very upset because I know that I don’t have a crush on him because I really view him as more of a father type figure and I want our relationship to go back to the way it was. I want to go in and tell him that I don’t have a crush and that it was all a misunderstanding but I’m not sure he would believe me and I feel like that would be a very awkward conversation.

  • Maya

    There’s this student teacher in my 10th grade biology class. I’ve had a thing for girls before, and I am a girl myself.

    She’s adorable, straight-forward, and hilarious. Though I don’t know her as a friend, I feel that if we met outside of school w/o having known each other, we’d really like each other as close friends. I glance at her sometimes in class when she does small things. It’s just interesting to watch people do daily tasks, you know?

    Sometimes she mouthes or quietly sings songs as if nobody every noticed. But I did hear it sometimes. And when I do, I just loved to watch her. Or just to even hear her voice.

    There have been instances where I just listen to her teach but don’t know what she said, having only listened to the sultry sound of her voice.

    This is one of the few experiences/tidbits that I’ve had with this student teacher. I just- I don’t know.

    –I don’t know what this is. I just feel a strong connection to her. I really like her.

  • An

    Hi,

    So, there is this really amazing guy who is a Resident Assistant at my school. He is not a teacher but still a staff member. I am 18 and he is 22.

    He has just been so great, empathetic and nice. He is funny, sweet, liked by everyone, very mature and helpful, and a really nice person and I have had many conversations with him and we do end up spending time together (not always alone obviously). Our school is kinda cool and we are really close to our staff and call them by their first names.

    I am now realizing that I am developing feelings for him- it’s a ‘huge crush’! I leave school next year but I don’t really know about him- he might stay on or continue his studies..

    I rarely develop crushes because I am attracted to very select few- and oh my god! This is happening where nothing can happen between us!

    This is really the best I can explain this situation…

  • Problem person

    I had a teacher crush. But you get past it eventually even though you see them regularly. Mine was on my favourite teacher who always made the class laugh and wasn’t too bad to look at either 😉 the very young, smitten me would look forward to every lesson with him. One day I realised just how ridiculous I was being. I was wasting time on someone who A.Could never be with me due to the law and B. Wouldn’t want to anyway. Of course my feelings didn’t just switch off after that realisation. Each time I went to the lesson I would have mini arguments in my head about the morality. Though the most part of me knew it was wrong the other was annoyed at having to constantly contradict the thoughts I would get. And so I started throwing myself into the work, Focusing on whatever I had to do occupied my brain for the most part although that one little bit thought I was working so hard desperate to impress. (I let it think that but it wasn’t 100% true) I was working really hard, my grade went up and my teacher was really pleased (he never knew about my crush, I was very discreet) him being so happy with me made it harder to move on. Part of my brain was like “ahhhh” the other was like “staaahhp” I can’t really offer advice as I don’t know how I got over it it just happened gradually but I guess i will recommend googling hot celebrities and realising that things will never go the way you want them to (relationship wise) with your teacher. It’s against the law if you’re under 18 and they know that. Should they break the rules they will lose their job and could end up in jail. They won’t do it. Hope you can move on soon x

  • This Disqus Of Mine

    Hey! I really like this article bc at one point in my life i’ve had a tc. I’m not over it though! He moved away and I’m missing him. I feel like im trapped in this infatuation and that i wont get over it for a long time! omg!

  • Dorthy

    I have this huge crush on this beautiful woman at my school. She’s smart and has helped me through a lot. She’s a little bit older and I wish I could just go and tell her how I feel but I know things might not end good. She’s crazy hot like omg only if!!

  • na na

    i’m a female student , 18 y o , i have a crush on my teacher he is 50 y o , i know it’s impossible to this relationship to happen , but i just can’t stop thinking of him , and he is obviously flirting with me all the time , he call me beautiful , he already told me that he likes me and i should not resist to ask him for help when i need ( i like the way he cares about me ) . he’s so smart , sweet , patient , and caring , plus he’s good looking , i like his smell , his smile , the way his hands looks .. but the problem is thinking of him drives me crazy , i actually like him in a sexual way , so i’m not trying to be his girlfriend , but is a sex experience . please help .!!

  • DonaldTrumpCanChokeOnAPopsicle

    I’m a sixth grader in middle school and I have a crush on my really cute English teacher. He’s 25 and married, but does that mean I can’t dream of kissing him or hanging out with him?? (Btw that might be kinda wierd because I’m 12) but just because we’re not allowed to be together, and he’s married anyway, does that still mean I can’t still like him and think of him?? Plus when he talks to me his voice is so subtle and he’s funny and nice to everybody and his class.

  • lollipoppuppet

    There’s a physics teacher at my school who I may or may not adore. He’s not even my teacher since I won’t be taking physics until next year. He looks so geeky with these glasses that look like Bubble’s from Trailer Park Boys but I still think he’s really cute. And he’s from the middle east with an accent and everything. But he’s probably 20 years older than me and that’s kind of very frowned upon, so…

  • So, like what if you’re a college freshman and you have this uber crush on your English professor? I won’t be taking his class next year but is he off hands?

  • •Lucy•

    We recently got a new physics teacher who is so good looking it’s not possible! And he’s so nice too. After doing a mock exam he called me out about one or two questions I front of the whole class. If that had happened with the old teacher I would have been so mad but with this guy I didn’t care. Not gonna do anything about this little crush though. Just ignore it