Does Watching Girl-On-Girl Porn Mean You’re Gay?

If there’s one thing girls NEVER talk about, it’s porn. Why? Well, you could say it’s hegemonic societal values that dictate a woman’s sexuality obsolete in our male-dominated society, leading us to be ashamed to claim our own sexualities as valid. Or you could just say it’s embarrassing. Yeah, let’s go with that.

Talking about sex is hard. Talking about what turns you on while you’re home alone at 11 p.m. with a computer and a vibrator is even harder. Especially if the porn you are watching (and enjoying) doesn’t exactly line up with your sexuality.

One reader asked: “I consider myself to be straight. I have only had crushes on guys, and I can only see myself in a relationship with a guy. However, I am into lesbian porn. Does that mean I’m a lesbian? I have never been attracted to girls IRL. Only boys.”

This girl is definitely not solo in her inquiry. I have piles and piles of questions from straight-identified girls who are freaking out over their lesbian porn lovin’.  So, let’s cut right to the chase:

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LOL JK.

No, I’m totally kidding. That’s not what your porn habits mean at all.

The short answer is no. The porn you get down to has little to do with your sexuality. Maybe you just like that porn girls seem gentler with each other. Maybe they are doing things — like actually going down on each other — that you don’t normally see in “straight porn.” Maybe it’s just a fantasy that turns you on, no explanation required.

Point is, watching lesbian-coded porn doesn’t mean you’re gay. That being said, checking out lesbian porn if you’re already questioning your sexuality could be just another avenue of exploration. And there’s no shame in that!

What’s important to remember, regardless of your porn-watching intentions, is that porn is largely theatrical, even if it seems natural. And, often, “lesbian porn” is not actually made with girls who like girls in mind. Like most porn, girl-on-girl porn is made and directed for the male gaze. All of this means that you are getting a filtered version of what girl-on-girl sex is actually like. It’s not very authentic. And it’s hypersexualized to cater to men.

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Now this is #nofilter.

Now, does that mean that girl-on-girl porn action turns you on any less? Well, obviously not. But it does mean that a performance is turning you on, not an actual experience with an actual girl lovin’ cutie. See the difference? Reminding yourself of performance vs. reality will help you stress a little less when your browser history is a little different from your identity.

Even if you are a secure straightie, there is no shame in watching girls get it on via your computer screen. If it helps you get in the mood for self lovin’ (or lovin’ with a man!), get down with your sexy side! There’s no shame in any of that.

Take care,
Katie

Got an LGBTQ question you want Katie to answer? Email her at staff@gurl.com with your queer conundrums so she can work her advice-giving magic!

 

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