The first time I was seriously bullied was in 8th grade gym class. This really mean girl thought I called her a slut to one of my friends. I didn’t. But that didn’t stop her from confronting me in a really harsh way.
Let’s set the scene: Awkward Teen Katie was sitting on the bleachers when Mean Girl approached. The whole confrontation is a blur, but I know she was super harsh. And I know she said something about how she would hit me if I ever said anything bad about her again, followed by, “Oh, and that shirt looks bad on you because you’re fat.”
I was really upset, but I didn’t let her see me cry. But I definitely did cry when I went home to tell my mom… and when my mom made me go to the principal to talk about it.
But I smiled a bit when I got to transfer to the gym class with my best friend in it! Small victories!
But the bullying sucked. Believe me, I still think back on that moment and cringe. But that girl had — and still has — zero power over me. And mean girls (or boys…or anyone!) should not have any power over you! That’s why this week, we’re giving you open and honest advice about how to deal with your real life mean girls (or boys…or anyone)!
Big Boobs, Big Problems
“I have a big boobs, but I’m only 12. In school, my friends bully me. I like my breasts, but I want them to be smaller so the bullying will stop. Please help!” — Anonymous
It’s really not cool that your friends are making fun of you for your body! In fact, that doesn’t sound like something a true friend would do. Have you tried chatting with them about how their comments make you feel? Maybe they think their comments are playful and don’t realize they actually are making you feel terrible. If that is the case, a simple conversation saying, “Hey, your comments actually really hurt my feelings. Could you not?” may be all you need!
But if nothing changes — or if you’ve already had that conversation a whole bunch of times — then you may want to reevaluate your friendship. Are they really true friends if they keep putting you down like this? Probably not! You deserve friends who will accept you for all parts of you. If these friends aren’t accepting, don’t waste time on them! Your body isn’t the problem, bullying is! So don’t feel like you have to change yourself or dislike yourself because of other people’s hate. You are flawless!
Babyface and Bullies
“I’m a 17-year-old teen who looks like a 10-year-old! I always get bullied by girls my age because of it. Even middle schoolers have tried to bully me because I look their age! I met this cool guy who is my age and I really want to get to know better. But he says he’s kind of put off by me because he feels like a pedophile when he thinks about getting it on with me. I want to look older, but I don’t think I’ll ever be take seriously!! Do you gals have any tips to make me look older?” — Eve
The problem here isn’t that you need to look older. The problem is that a bunch of bullies, young and older, think it’s okay to pick on you. Changing yourself to please bullies is definitely not good for you or your self-image. Take it from me: You need to surround yourself with people who respect you and your look! Forget what the haters say!
Next time someone bullies you by telling you that you look too young, tell them that they are being rude. Seriously! You look how you look, and their harsh words won’t do anything to change that. Know that you are perfectly perfect the way you are. In the meantime, find things you love about yourself and your looks. It will help you to take their words with a grain of salt. There is so much about you to love that those bullies can never take away. Trust me. As for the guy? Drop him like a bad habit. If he can’t get past your looks, he definitely isn’t up to your standards!
My Bully Is Also My Crush
“I have a huge crush on this guy, but he is really confusing. He tells me he likes me, but then he says he doesn’t. And now he is bullying me! Does he like me or not? I’m so confused!” — Anonymous
This guy may be super cute, but he also sounds like a super big jerk! Totally not cool. What kind of boyfriend he would be if he’s bullying you now? Answer: Probably not one you’d want to call you boo! You biggest concern isn’t whether he likes you or not. It’s keeping yourself happy and in healthy relationships. And, let’s face it. This guy isn’t going to lead you to either of those places.
You should probably just cut communication with this guy. He seems pretty toxic! Plus, there are so many people out there that would treat you so much better. You deserve a guy who realizes how amazing you are. You definitely don’t deserve a bully!
“I have three brothers. But the eldest? I HATE HIM. He’s horrible to me and always bullying me! I don’t know what to do to get him to stop! How do you even deal with brothers?” — Sally
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this with family! That’s so hard because you can’t really cut off communication with your bully. I mean, he’s always around! But, there’s one thing you can do. You can talk to him. Tell him how his comments really make you feel. It may seem intimidating, but saying, “What you’re saying really hurts me and here’s why…,” is an honest way to let your feelings out! Maybe he’ll change his ways and be a better brother.
But, if that doesn’t happen, then it’s time to call in reinforcements. The best reinforcements? Parents. If you tell them what’s going on and how it makes you feel, I’m sure they will be Team Sally! Your parents probably have more of an influence on your brother’s behavior than you can ever hope to. Don’t consider it tattling. Consider it looking out for yourself. You deserve a happy, healthy home. And if your brother is getting in the way of that, he needs to change his ways!
Bully Body Bashing
“I’m 13 and overweight. I get bullied and teased by girls at school because of it. I know I’m fat, but it’s not easy! I can’t just say a magic word, like ‘Abracadabra Lose Weightitcus!’ What should I do?” — Anonymous
I hope you’ve read the answers above because what I’m about to say will sound super familiar. You are perfectly fine the way you are! The mean girls trying to bring you down do not define you. So what if you are overweight or plus-size or fat? There are plenty of super cool people who are all of those things (myself included, tbh!). You don’t have to lose weight for anyone. You don’t need to alter you body to please anyone.
The best thing you can do? Don’t listen to them! Stay positive, stay sassy, and stay beautiful. You and your body don’t deserve the hatred. Instead of focusing on their negative words, focus on what you love about yourself and your body. No magic required!
Can you relate? What tips and tricks do you have for dealing with bullies? Tell us about it in the comments below!