We know periods are completely normal and are absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, we bleed for days out of our hoo-has and survive. We do this every month. Do you know how amazing that is?! It’s incredible!
Just because periods are normal though doesn’t mean they aren’t totally disgusting and weird. Comedian Cameron Esposito explained this in a tremendous set. She said, “If you’re a guy out there and you think periods are disgusting, I don’t believe you’ve ever had an honest conversation with a woman.” This is completely true because girls know how legitimately gross periods actually are. There are some absolutely horrible things that happen to us when we’re on our periods.
I, thankfully, through the powers of Mirena don’t get my period anymore, but the things I experienced when I did get it are forever etched into my memories. If you get your period, you know exactly how these gross moments go:
1. YOUR BODY IS LITERALLY BLEEDING OUT OF YOUR BODY.
Like… what?! DO YOU KNOW HOW INSANE THAT IS?
2. A terribly gross variety of period poops.
You know what I’m talking about.
3. When your tampon falls out accidentally during a period poop.
Just plan on changing your tampon every time you have to poop. It’s safer that way.
4. Period farts.
They are the worst.
5. Having blood clots of your body fall out of your vagina.
6. Waking up in a pile of blood because your body hates you.
7. Standing up and getting a gush of blood.
It’s fine, I’ll just stay sedentary for a week.
9. Getting blood all up in your pubic hair.
10. Or getting blood around your vagina and on your inner thighs like some kind of monster.
11. Having a tampon get stuck so you have to reach in and pull it out like some kind of explorer.
I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS.
12. Being in the shower and having blood just fall out of your vag and into the water.
Kind of fascinating, tbh.
13. DARING TO TAKE A BATH.
Don’t do this. But sometimes you think it’s safe. IT IS NOT.
14. Wearing a pad and then having it shift and get stuck to you.
Gross and painful.
15. Yeast infections.
Terrible. Seriously terrible.
16. Getting all itchy down there and not being able to control it at all.
17. Having blood drip down your leg or all over the floor.
18. Staining your underwear and just keeping it as your period underwear.
Another one bites the dust.
19. Wearing a pad and getting sweaty vag on top of everything else.
You can’t help it.
20. Pulling out a tampon and getting blood on your hands.
It’s your blood but STILL.
21. Pulling out a tampon and having it splash into the toilet and then splash you with bloody toilet water.
22. The smell of everything.
Make it stop!
23. Being fascinated with your period and just like staring at your blood sometimes being all I BLEED OUT OF MY VAGINA AND LIVE.
I MAKE MYSELF BLEED MY OWN BLOOD.
24. Thinking your period is over and then it’s like LOL NO.
Which of these gross things have you experienced? What other disgusting things happen to you? Tell us in the comments below!
You can reach this post’s author, Caitlin Corsetti, on Twitter and Instagram!