5 Readers’ Comment Questions About Talking To Their Parents About Sex

cool-momTalking to your parents about sex can seem humiliating and scary. It’s really hard to talk with them about something that is so personal and extremely important. Most parents believe that at whatever age you choose to start having sex, that you’re too young. Other parents are so crippled by the fear of their child having sex that they don’t talk about the important information that we should all know about our bodies.

If you’re ready to have sex, or if you’ve already had sex you should at least try to bring it up with your parents. As scary as it may seem, they really do want what’s best for you even if they don’t agree about the choices you are making. If you’ve ever been terrified to talk to your parents about sex, know that you are not alone. Here are five readers’ comment questions about talking to their parents about sex.


She Won’t Help Me Get On Birth Control

My mom is not laid back at all. She knows that I’ve had sex before, but she wouldn’t even look at me when she found out. I’m 18-years-old and can’t talk to my mom about sex. Not only would she not help me get on the pill, she would restrict almost all of my freedom to hang out with boys. I’ve been with this guy for over a year and we’ve gotten really serious and I need to get on the pill but I don’t know how to do it or bring it up to my mom without her shooting my down right away. – Kathleen 

Hi Kathleen,

The best answer I can give you about your problem is this: You don’t need your mom to go on birth control, especially since you are 18-years-old and a legal adult. I totally understand that it would make you feel better if your mom supported your sexual choices, but if she won’t listen to you, then you cannot risk your sexual health because of her beliefs. The best thing for you to do is make an appointment with your doctor. If you do not have a regular doctor, or if you mom won’t give you the insurance information you need, then you need to go to a free clinic. PlannedParenthood is a great resource to finding a doctor and clinic in your area that will help you take the right steps to getting the birth control that you want. Your mom’s support would be great in the situation, but you do not need it – and in the end, if you wait for it, you may only hurt yourself.


Open Minded, But Never Given Me The Details

My mom has told me numerous times that I can talk to her about sex, but she has never really given me “the talk.” I kind of wish she would because my boyfriend and I are getting pretty serious and I have no clue how to bring it up to my mom. I know little to nothing about sex. What should I do?Jen 

Hey Jen,

I’m so glad that you and your mom have an open relationship when it comes to talking about sex. You’ve already passed the toughest hurdle to get over, now you guys just need to have the conversation. A great idea would be to sit your mom down and let her know how thankful you are that you can come to her with your sex questions and you’ve got a ton that need to be answered. I would make a list of all the questions you have about sex. The more information you get, the better it will be for everyone. Since you’ve stated that you and your boyfriend are getting serious, you need to let you mom know this as well. Ask her about the different forms of birth control that are available to you and ask her to set up an appointment for you. Keeping the line of communication open is the best thing for everyone. Don’t be afraid, you’ve got this!


She Wants To Control Which Type Of Birth Control I Want To Use

I have a book about what happens during a gynecologist exam and I’m completely terrified. I’m 14-years-old and I’ve had my period for a couple of years. I’ve asked my mom about sex and now she wants to take me to her gynecologist to get a shot. I don’t even know what it’s for. Do I have to get this shot? I just want to take birth control and use condoms as my form of birth control. How do I tell my mom I don’t want the shot and want to start taking birth control? – Hana 

Hi Hana,

I’m glad that you’ve gotten started on informing yourself about gynecologist appointments, and don’t worry – they can be terrifying for everyone when you first learn what goes down. I wouldn’t worry too much about the exam. Gyno appointments seem a lot scarier than they actually are. Depending on your state and laws about privacy, your mom might not even be allowed in the room while you talk to your doctor. I would call your doctor and ask if your mom is required to be in the room. If not, you can gently let her know that you would like to go in alone. Now onto this shot that you are talking about. It can be a number of different things. She might be referring to the HPV vaccination that has been required by schools across the country. This shot will help protect you from contracting this STD. She could also be referring to the Depo-Provera shot, which is a form of birth control. You need to ask your mom which shot she is referring to. You are the only one that can decide which form of birth control you want to use, she cannot make you get something that you don’t want. I would educate yourself on each other the forms of birth control and then decide which form you believe is best for you. But again, this is your body and your choice.

I Lost My Virginity At A Young Age And I’m Afraid To Tell My Parents

I haven’t had “the talk” with my parents at all. I’m 14-years-old and I’m not a virgin. I’m scared to talk to my parents about losing my virginity at a really young age. I’m scared they might get mad at me. What do I do? – Emily77

Hi Emily77,

I totally understand why you are nervous to talk to your parents. They may not be super supportive at the beginning of your talk, but you’re going to need to push through the awkward moment and their anger to get your point across. Let them know that since you are no longer a virgin you would like to be able to be honest with them about your sexual history. Having sex at whatever age is a personal decision that only you can make. Don’t let them shame you because of your actions. If you are comfortable with the choices that you’ve made, then that is all that matters. It might be a good idea to talk with them about your choice of birth control methods to show them that you are being mature when it comes to sex. Hopefully, their anger will subside once they see that you are taking this seriously. Good luck!

I’m Afraid My Mom Won’t Approve Of My Boyfriend  

I’m 17-years-old and in college. I really want to tell my mom about my boyfriend, but I’m scared because of my past experiences with guys and bad situations. My new guy is awesome. We’ve been dating for almost four months. I’m really scared that if I tell her that she might do everything in her power to make sure that we don’t see each other. I really love him and his family. What should I do? Help!Octavia

Hi Octavia,

It sucks when a few bad guys alter your parents abilities to like the guy that you’re with. In order to show your mom that your new boyfriend is different from the other guys that you’ve dated in the past, it might be a good idea to introduce him to her without his boyfriend title. Let her know that he’s a really good friend of yours and you would love for them to meet. Hopefully, she will like him and you all can hang out more. Once she gets used to the idea of him and his personality you can explain to her that you two have been dating for a couple of months but you wanted to take things very slow, which is why you didn’t tell her right away. She should be able to understand that we’ve all made mistakes with the people that we trust our hearts to, but that shouldn’t ruin every relationship in the future. Make sure that you take the conversation really slow so that it doesn’t turn into a huge fight. I really hope she comes to like the guy that makes you happy.

Are you having issues talking to your parents about sex or another important situation? If you have had “the talk” with your parents, how did you start the conversation? Let us know in the comments below! 

How To Tell Your Parents You Have A Boyfriend

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