Last week, my boyfriend got mad at me for something so petty, and hasn’t spoken to me since. He hasn’t deleted me or blocked me on social media or anything. I know he still reads my messages, but he just won’t answer. What does this mean? Is this a sign he’s controlling? What should I do? I have reached out so many times and in so many ways. Please help.
While women are impossible for guys to understand in pretty much every way possible, there are a handful of things about guys that make absolutely no sense. This happens to be one of them, and it’s a very common occurrence.
One of the main factors leading to this is that even in 2015, society still doesn’t really teach guys how to deal with any emotion aside from VERY happy and angry. More to the point, most guys can’t understand or recognize what they’re feeling, and that makes dealing with the emotions even harder. Things like love make things very tricky, and learning to actually be a man and express yourself to someone is a big stepping stone some guys never reach.
That’s not to say he is in any way right for what he’s doing, but that’s probably the cause behind it. It’s more likely just him being incapable of dealing with strong emotions, as opposed to him being a control freak, and his instinct is to just turn off completely and hide.
So now that you understand you’re dealing with someone who can’t properly cope with their emotions, it should make a bit more sense why he hasn’t removed you from his internet life, and why he’s not completely ignoring you. It’s unlikely he’s really mad anymore, but doesn’t know how to swallow his pride and patch things up.
You really have two choices: wait or walk.
If you really care about him (I mean REALLY care), I’d set a limit on how much longer you’re willing to let him be childish, and stick to it when that time comes. To be perfectly honest, I think you’re already past a reasonable point, especially if the initial issue was so petty. I’d just stop texting, calling, etc, as all that does is feed into him wanting your attention without giving anything in return.
The other option is to just forget him and move on. There are plenty of mature guys on this planet who know how to communicate and handle their emotions, and even when they get upset, they can express it and deal with it in a timely manner.
You just need to decide whether you’re willing to date someone who essentially throws temper tantrums, or whether you’d prefer to date someone more comfortable in who they are that can also be a mature person.
Best of luck!
Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube.. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.