I get it, relationships are hard and messy, and sometimes they just flat-out suck. No two situations are the same and it’s hard to balance what your heart feels and what your head tells you. People breakup and get back together all the time. Sometimes it’s a good thing, and other times it’s a really bad decision. Thinking about getting back with an ex is serious business. It’s something that should take a lot of thought and reflection as to why you two should get back together.
There are cases where one person did something really awful and asks for forgiveness from the other. Then there are times when you both just couldn’t make things work no matter how hard you both tried. Whatever the case may be, thinking about getting back with an ex is always a complicated situation. Here are five readers’ questions on whether they should get back with their exes.
We’re Kind Of Back Together, I Guess?
My ex and I had a really nasty breakup and have been apart for two years. We both dated other people and although we would check in via texts, we didn’t have any major contact during that time. We both became single again a few months ago and started seeing each other again. We are taking things slow because we both work long hours and live a good distance from each other. Our time together consist of dinners, movies and sleepovers (I am happy with the time we have together, I know we both have to work) but I would very much like to have a real relationship with him again. I have expressed my wants with him and his response is, “I wouldn’t be spending time with you if I didn’t see us happy together and the possibility of a future, but why can’t we just have fun right now?” I feel like he is stringing me along and I’m not sure how to move forward. The last time we were together it was like fireworks every day and he was pushing to be a couple within days. Am I just being a stress case or am I a sex buddy and blind to it? – Jody
I think you might be stressing over this situation a little too much. You didn’t mention why you guys broke up, but you both somehow wound up back in each others lives, which I think is a good sign. I hope the breakup was mutual and although mean words may have been said, breakups are hard on everyone. You say that you are happy with the time that you two spend together and what you guys do is what every other couple does. They go out to dinners spend as much time together as you do. It sounds likes you’re stressing over not having the title of girlfriend. I understand that you don’t want to be lead on or used, but if like he said, if he didn’t want to spend time with you then he wouldn’t. Since you’ve already told him how you feel, I think the best plan of action is to just relax and have fun with what you two have now. Don’t keep comparing your current relationship to your past. You both were different people then. Focus on what you have now and shelf your anxiety for a couple more months.
He Broke My Heart, But I Want Him Back
I dated this guy that I loved so much that he took me to meet his parents. Then after a week he just started acting distant deleted me off BBM and broke up with me. Then I found out that he is in a relationship with this other girl! He uploads pictures of them kissing and I can’t deal. How do I get over someone that I would die for? He is my everything. I love him so much that I can’t erase him from my memory. My heart grew so fond of him, and now I’m stuck crying myself to sleep every night. I love so much and I need him. Should I try to get him back? – Amber
I’m so sorry that your heart is so broken. It sounds like this guy was a real jerk and didn’t care about your feelings at all. Meeting his parents was a huge deal and any girl would have thought the relationship was in a good place. It sucks to say, but I think that you may have been the other girl. He may have been on a break with her, and you were just his rebound until they got back together. This situation is a tough pill to swallow because you really fell for him, but he’s not a good guy and you shouldn’t want him back after what he did to you. I totally understand that you have really strong feelings for him, but he obviously doesn’t have the same for you or he wouldn’t have did what he did. Only time will help you heal from your heartbreak and I think it would be best if you try to busy yourself with other things. Try getting more involved in school activities or finding a hobby that you are really interested in and start putting your efforts into that. Your heart will heal eventually, but trying to get him back is not going to make you feel any better. Good luck!
He’s Sending Me Signs, What Should I Do?
It’s been seven months since my ex and I broke up. I couldn’t stop thinking about him for the first five months of our breakup. I’ve been better for the past two months, but now he has started coming to my church every Sunday and he will walk past me. The other day I caught him staring at me and we made eye contact for a little while. I’m so confused. Our breakup was not good, but I mean it wasn’t entirely his fault. His mom got in the middle of our relationship and made him stop seeing me. But he turned into a major player after we broke up. He sent me a Snapchat of himself shirtless and has been texting me non-stop. Should I give him another chance or move on? I am so confused and this is tearing me apart. – jamiemaggie5
This situation is really tough and I completely understand how confused you are. It sucks when other people get in between a relationship, especially since it was his mom. I think your best bet would be to talk to him and see how he feels about everything. Maybe he was just as upset as you were when you two broke up, but he dealt with it by dating a bunch of other girls. I want to point out though that you said that his mom was a huge reason why you broke up. She will still be in the picture, and I think it would be best if you tread very carefully with your feelings for him again. You don’t want to get your hopes up and be let down. If you start to sense any hesitation from him or notice that he only wants to hang out in secret then those are red flags that he’s not in this for the right reasons. There’s nothing wrong with trying again, but just be sure you are protecting yourself too.
I Gave Him Up, But Now I Want Him Back
So, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend after being together for only a week because I didn’t see it going anywhere. But we’re friends now and we’ve both moved on from our relationship. I want to get back together him because I miss him a lot. The issue is that I told my BFF that she could start dating him because we were broken up. But now that my feelings have come back, I don’t know what to do. They are really happy and we all hang out as friends all the time. Should I tell him how I feel? I don’t want to ruin their relationship, but I can’t keep pretending like I don’t have feelings for him. What should I do? – acarroll
This is a super tough situation, but I want to be as blunt with you as possible because I feel that it’s the best way to help you. You broke up with him after a week of dating. You barely gave your relationship enough time to bloom, let alone go anywhere. You say that you miss him, but is this really your true feelings? Do you only miss him because he is no longer with you? These are questions you need to seriously ask yourself. You told your BFF that they could start dating because you didn’t have feelings for him anymore. You can’t turn around now and say that you like him again. That’s not fair to anyone. I understand that it is hard to pretend like you don’t have feelings for him when you guys hang out, but this was your choice. I think the best thing to do is stop hanging out with them as much. You should totally still hang out with your BFF, but you should try to put as must space between you and him as possible. Don’t ruin your BFF’s happiness because you feel lonely, that’s not cool.
He Wants Me To Be His Secret
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up this September and he said that he hoped we could talk and be friends. We haven’t really talked much since then until a few weeks ago. He said that he still misses me and likes me. He calls me beautiful and gorgeous every time we talk, and we still have normal friendly conversations, but he brings up sex a lot. He always mentions us meeting somewhere to have sex (but we’ve never had sex before). He always says he would visit me and drive 320 miles to see me. He says he wants be with me forever. But then he says that if I did go over and see him that it would have to be a secret because he doesn’t want to upset his ex-girlfriend. I don’t know if he’s trying to make me jealous, but I feel like he only wants me for sex. I’m really confused and not sure what I should do. Please help! – Starbucks lover
Hey Starbucks lover,
You are totally being manipulated by your ex-boyfriend for sex and that’s not cool at all. I understand that he is still super sweet and nice to you, but he only wants to hang out with you to hook up. He is only saying these sweet things to make it seem like he cares about you, but he really doesn’t. The fact that he’s telling you that if you two were to hook up that it would have to be kept a secret from his other ex is a HUGE no. He is using you and you need to be strong and see this. Don’t start to fall for his games because you will end up getting hurt. My best advice would be to let him know that you are not interested in being his secret side girl and you two shouldn’t talk anymore because he doesn’t know how to treat your correctly. Stand up for yourself!
Are you thinking about getting back with your ex? Do you have some reservations about what you should do? Let us know in the comments below!