Ask A Guy: Why Won’t Your Boyfriend Make You His #WCW?

Dear Joel,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a week, and we’re long-distance. I don’t know why, but it seems like he isn’t intp the relationship as much as I am. I was checking Instagram, and guess what? He didn’t make me his #WCW! He made it some other random girl. If you have a girlfriend, don’t you make her your #WCW instead of someone else? And do you happen to know why he doesn’t seem to be involved in the relationship? I’m kind of freaking the f*** out!

As great as technology is for bringing people together and making things like long distance relationships a whole lot easier, those same social networks can cause the biggest problems and misunderstandings. They take the idea of not reading too much into things like text and email to the next level, so tread lightly in how much you let social media upset you.

Let’s set aside the fact that your relationship is only about a week old for the time being, as one thing I see so many teens and twenty-somethings getting caught up on is the importance of being “Internet official.” Whether it’s hashtagging you or updating a Facebook relationship status, just because someone chooses not to acknowledge you on the Internet, it shouldn’t lead you to believe there’s a problem in the relationship.

In all my years, I have never updated my own relationship status, and it has nothing to do with how much I’ve loved a girlfriend or tried to appear as single because something better might come along.. I didn’t update things like that because like many people, I am just a private person in that sense; and as far as I’m concerned, the people I want to know when I’m in a relationship find out other ways… like me telling them in person or on the phone.

If some random person I haven’t spoken to in years doesn’t know I’m dating someone, why does that matter? The only important thing is that the two of you know how you feel for one another. The rest is just your ego.

That all being said, perhaps the most important thing to remember is that it’s only been a week for the two of you. That’s barely a blip on the relationship radar, and for you to be “freaking the f**k out” so early on is more of a concern than his social media posts or lack thereof.

Just because you became official doesn’t mean you have to shout it to the rooftops right away. Give the relationship some time, let it breathe. If you’re all over him right away for something like not updating his social media, chances are you’ll scare him off VERY quickly.

If you find it impossible to exist without saying something about his hashtag use, maybe be proactive about it and do something like giving him a hashtag shout out and seeing how he responds. The key is to just relax and understand that social media is beyond unimportant in the grand scheme of things… and also, it’s only been a week.

Best of luck!

Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube.. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.


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Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
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