While a lot of kids grew up wanting to be like Santa, I always wanted to be an elf. Elves have the coolest job. I mean, they get to make and play with toys all day! That’s amazing, right? And many elves we see in movies have magical powers, which is definitely something I want.
There are a lot of different kinds of elves, but since it’s the holiday season, I thought it would be fun to rank some of our favorite elves by dateability! Which elf would make the best boyfriend or girlfriend?
8. Curtis from The Santa Clause 2
Ugh, Curtis is the worst. First of all, he’s a stickler for the rules to the point where he is absolutely no fun whatsoever. Second, he complains about everything. And third, he’s sassy but in the most terrible way.
7. Hermey from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Literally all Hermey talks about is wanting to be a dentist, which is really annoying. I mean… get a hobby dude.
6. Willie from Fred Claus
Willie is such a doll and is super sweet, but he’s really, really, really shy. Like too scared to even speak to you shy. He and Charlene start dating so you know he’s capable of being a good BF. He just needs time!
5. Judy from The Santa Clause
Judy’s definitely way too young to start dating, but wait a few years and she’d be an angel of a girlfriend. She’s cute as a button and makes the best hot chocolate on this hemisphere.
4. Charlene from Fred Claus
Charlene is *technically* a “helper,” but I’m considering her an elf. She is just an all-around great woman. She’s beautiful, sweet, intelligent, hard-working, and basically amazing in every way. You’re insane if you don’t want to date her.
3. The main elf of Elves with Attitude from The Santa Clause
This guy is a BABE. The way he just went into that jail and was all “We’re your worst nightmare: elves with attitude” and then cut those bars with that tinsel. Damn.
2. Buddy from Elf
Sure, he might be a little unstable since he was raised thinking he was an elf when he was actually a human. But Buddy learned how to be a real adult! He is kind, caring, genuine, and would let you eat candy all day. Plus, he has a great in with Santa and the head elf, which means better presents for you!
1. Bernard from The Santa Clause
Um, obviously Bernard is #1. Did you really think it was going to be anyone else? I had the biggest crush on Bernard. There was just something about him. Maybe it was his attitude or his voice, but whatever he was doing totally worked and was basically the sexual awakening for most girls my age.