Breakups are tough, and dealing with an ex-boyfriend can be even harder, especially when you haven’t gotten over that person yet. I know how difficult it can be to still have feelings for an ex while knowing that things will never go back to the way that they were. This situation can cause you to feel miserable, depressed, angry and hopeless.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from going to therapy, it’s that no particular person or situation can make you feel terrible – only you can do that. You have control over your mind, and you alone have control over your perspective of something. Regardless of what your ex does, you have the ability to control how you feel about him. So, if your ex is making you feel bad, you can’t change him, but you can change the way you let him make you feel. How? Read on. Here are 8 tips on how to stop letting your ex make you feel bad:
Cut Off All ContactIf your ex is making you feel sad or angry or jealous, the best thing you can do is to completely cut off contact with him. Delete his number, don't text him, don't call him, don't see him. Ignore his attempts at talking to you. Cutting off your ex is really hard, but it WILL make things better, I swear. Source: ShutterStock
Get Rid Of Things That Remind You Of HimIf you're still holding onto this sweatshirt, or a gift that he gave you, let it go. If it makes you feel upset to look at that item, you need to get it out of your life. When my ex and I broke up, there were so many things in my room that reminded me of him that it didn't even feel like I could be happy in that space. I finally put everything that reminded me of him in a box and gave it to my cousin to hold onto until I was ready. It really did help, and I still have those memories now that I'm over him. Source: ShutterStock
Delete Him Off Of All Social MediaCutting off all contact means also cutting him off on social media. Unfriend him on Facebook and stop following him on Instagram and Twitter. I know you think that you need updates on his life, but you don't. Those updates only serve as a constant reminder of him and the relationship you used to have. Seeing only bits of his life will make you wonder even more about what he's doing without you. The day you take him off everything, I promise you will feel a huge weight lift off your shoulders. Source: ShutterStock
Distract Yourself With Things That Make You HappyYou should of course have times when you let yourself cry and feel sad. But you shouldn't do this all the time. When you're really down, try to distract yourself by doing something that once made you happy. Whether that's hanging with friends, watching your favorite show or doing some sort of hobby, it doesn't matter... just do it. Source: ShutterStock
Try Something New and DifferentYou're starting a new chapter in your life, so you should also try some new things. Doing something different is exciting and can really make you feel like you're starting over. Try a new hobby you've always been kind of interested in. Go somewhere, like studying abroad or visiting a friend or family member out of state. Just do something new. Source: ShutterStock
Definitely Don't Hook UpIf your ex is making you feel bad, you definitely should never hook up with him. That won't make anything better, it will just make everything worse. Hooking up leads to complicated and messy emotions and will leave you confused and hurt. Source: ShutterStock
Stop Talking About Him So MuchIn order to feel better, you have to stop letting your ex control your thoughts and emotions. Start to do this by not talking about him as much. Don't let him dominate the subject of every conversation you have with somebody! Venting is one thing, but obsessively discussing what went wrong is just too much. Source: ShutterStock
Tell Your Friends Not To Update You On His LifeAgain, you don't want to talk about him as much, and you don't want to know everything he's doing, because that will only make things harder. Let your friends know that you're trying to move on and you don't want to hear about him. Your friends may think they're being helpful but filling you in on what they hear, but that's actually just making things harder for you. Gently let them know that, then stick to it. Source: ShutterStock
Are you in this situation right now? How do you deal with it? How do you get over someone you used to date? Tell me in the comments.