Does Sexting Someone Make You A Slut?

Hi Heather,

Okay, so I started talking to this guy from school through texting one day. He is sweet and nice, and I like him. One night, we were talking as usual and one convo led to another, and the next thing you know we’re talking about what turns the other person on. And then, BAM, next thing I know, we’re sexting! I don’t know why I’m asking, but I guess what I want to know is… does this make me a slut? Or maybe not a slut but dirty?

The short answer? No, sexting definitely doesn’t make you a slut. Whether you’re sexting your boyfriend or a guy you’re just talking to, it doesn’t mean you’re a slut and it doesn’t mean you’re dirty. Having an interest in sex and exploring your sexual feelings with someone else or on your own never makes you a slut. Let’s get that word out of our vocabulary right now.

However, I do think you should be careful. Sexing is fun and exciting, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing – but it can be dangerous. When you sext someone, they can save those messages forever whether you realize it or not. They can show other people or even post the stuff online. The point is, you never know if sexting is a totally private thing or not, because you can’t control what someone else does with those texts or images.

Make sure you trust this guy before you send anything you wouldn’t want other people seeing. Also, please don’t send dirty pictures – and if you’re going to anyway, please, please make sure your face is not in them. Too many girls have their sexting photos exploited or made public, and you don’t want that to happen to you. You need to be careful here, okay?

Besides the safety aspect of things, I really want you to remember that it’s completely fine for you to think about, explore and enjoy sexual activities. There is nothing shameful about doing any of that, and you should never feel like you have to feel guilty about it. There’s a double standard in our society that condemns women for these things, but that double standard needs to stop. Enjoy yourself with this guy and never think of yourself as slutty!

take care,
Heather

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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