During my life, I’ve had really great friends (the girls who are always there no matter what) and I’ve had terrible friends (one BFF went behind my back to date my crush). At the same time, I’ve had my own moments where I’ve been a great friend and times when I’ve been a bad friend (like when I picked a dude over my bestie). We’ve all had moments like these before.
It’s easy to be the bad friend; it takes work to be the girl everyone can count on. Just like a relationship, a friendship takes commitment, effort and dedication. You have to really work to be there for someone and to stand by their side even after being around them constantly. Making a friendship work, even when you truly love and care for the person, can be tough, but it’s definitely not impossible. Want to become the best friend any of your besties has ever had? Here are 10 tips on how to be a good friend:
Stand Up For Your FriendsThe other day, Diplo (Katy Perry's boyfriend),tweeted something really dumb, mean and unnecessary about Taylor Swift's butt. Lorde, one of Taylor's many celebrity besties, immediately came to her rescue and fired back with a hilarious and appropriate response. Standing up for your friends is SO important. It makes your friend feel better when she's down and it shows her she has a support system. You don't always have to come back with witty or mean responses - you can just simply say something like "Not cool. Don't say that about her again." Do it even when she's not around to witness it. Source: Instagram
Make Time For ThemNo matter how busy life gets, you should always make it a point to make time for your friends. You'll see that as you get older, this gets more and more difficult. My friends and I will sometimes go weeks or even months without hanging out, but we always try to set a date to get together, which is really nice. It's important to show your friends that you want to be around them and that you're taking time out of your schedule to be with them. If you always blow them off, they're not going to be around for long. I have one friend who always says "let's hang out!" but then never follows up with actual plans. It just makes me feel like she doesn't actually care and is just saying that to say it. I've stopped trying to make plans with her because of it, and our friendship has basically died. Source: ShutterStock
Be Happy For Them, Even When You're JealousThis one can be tough, especially if you're a jealous and competitive person. You have to show support for your friends, and part of doing that is being happy for them even if they just got something you REALLY want. A few years ago, a friend landed my dream job before I could. Even though I was really upset, bummed out and jealous about it, I still congratulated her and got her a little gift to show her I was happy for her. I tried to hide my jealousy because I knew that this wasn't about my hurt feelings, it was about her happiness. Source: ShutterStock
Know When To Just ListenThere are plenty of times you'll need to give your friends advice or share your opinion on something, but you don't need to do it all the time. Sometimes, you need to just be there and listen to them vent. You don't always have to have the final say and you can't always try to get your point across. If a friend is really upset about a breakup, know that there's probably not much you can say that will make her feel better. Instead, hug her and say, "Just talk to me." Then just listen to her cry, vent and talk about everything that's bothering her. We all need that sometimes. Source: ShutterStock
Make Sacrifices For Them SometimesYou don't always need to go out of your way for your friends, but you definitely should sometimes. If a friend wants to celebrate her birthday, but you're totally not into her idea, you may have to do it anyway - at least for a little bit. This is her birthday, it's her day, and she wants you to share it with her. Sacrifice at least an hour of your time to be apart of it. Little things like this are what make an okay friend a great friend. Source: ShutterStock
Be Honest Even When They Don't Want To Hear ItPart of being a friend is being honest about the things no one else wants to tell the truth about. That means that if you have a good reason for thinking your BFF's boyfriend sucks, you should tell her. If she tries on a dress that looks bad on her, you should say it's not your favorite. If she's doing something obnoxious that is making you mad, you should be honest about your feelings. Lying will never help any kind of relationship. Source: ShutterStock
Make Them A PriorityIt's normal to become closer to some friends than others at times. It's also normal to let romantic relationships take over your friendship time. But no matter what happens, you should always try to make your friends a priority. When one of my best friends got a boyfriend, she stopped hanging out with me completely... but when they broke up, she came back. And another friend got super close with another girl, and started blowing me off for her. This doesn't make me feel good, and it makes me think of them as just okay friends who don't really care. Even when you get a new bestie, make it a point to stay close with your old bestie. Don't leave her out or make her feel alienated. Source: ShutterStock
Be LoyalLoyalty is incredibly important in any type of relationship. It means a lot of things: standing up for your friends, being there for them when they need you, and sticking by their side no matter what. It also means being honest. Be loyal to your friend by making time for her when she needs you, and by showing that you're on her side of things. For example, if she dumps her BF and he tries to talk to you, but she's really not over him, don't talk to him! Source: ShutterStock
Don't Spill Their SecretsThis one should really be a given: don't tell your friends secrets! Don't gossip about her. If your BFF tells you something she's never told anyone else, don't tell anyone else. It really is that simple. Show that you're trustworthy by proving that you are. Source: ShutterStock
Be Open With ThemI have a friend who never tells me anything. We're very close, but she doesn't open up about her feelings, she keeps everything inside, and she never lets me know when she's mad at me. She just won't open up to me even though we've been friends forever. It's really frustrating and makes me feel like we're not that close. It makes me wonder if she trusts me or not. You don't have to tell your friend every thought that goes through your head, but you should try to open up to them a little bit. Source: ShutterStock
Do you think you’re a good friend or a bad friend? What tips did I forget? Tell me in the comments.