5 Readers’ Questions About Masturbation, Answered

yayMasturbation is a touchy subject (no pun intended there). Seriously, it is something that many people do or want to do, but are way too afraid or embarrassed to talk about. I understand the feeling. It took me a long time to not feel ashamed and even longer for my friends and I to even mention the word to each other. But guess what? Everyone does it!

There is nothing wrong with exploring yourself and seeing what you like. In fact, it’s really healthy. I know a lot of you may be shy about the subject, but there is no need to be. Masturbation is natural and completely normal. If you’re still a little iffy about it, that’s okay too. Here are 5 comment questions from readers about masturbation.

I’m 14-years-old and I’ve been masturbating for about a year. I’m nervous because I don’t feel anything down there. I’ve tried different things: porn – all kinds, different positions and objects, but nothing works! I’m not stressed. I only get that rush when I’m when a guy touches me but besides that – nothing. I don’t know what to do? Should I just stop trying? Please, help!Chanel

Hi Chanel,

Okay, let’s take a breath and calm down. First, I know that it can be upsetting when you are masturbating and the big “O” doesn’t happen. It’s annoying and it makes you feel like something is wrong with you. Well, there isn’t. It is completely normal to not have a full blown orgasm every time you masturbate. It’s also normal to have trouble having an orgasm – many women do. It sounds weird, but when you think too much about having an orgasm, you probably won’t have one. You need to relax your body and mind, and just let it happen. Think about whatever turns you on – you said you feel a rush when a guy touches you, so envision that when you’re masturbating. Research has found that women are more likely to have an orgasm when they’re simply thinking about erotic things. So maybe stop trying so hard. Put away the porn, put down the sex toys, and lay back and just touch yourself until you figure out what feels good, all while thinking about something that gets you going. Keep experimenting with things that you’re comfortable with, and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Your orgasm will come (pun intended – hehe)! Good luck.

I got my period once in March, but I never got a proper one after that. I’ve been masturbating a lot and a few times after I’ve bled a little. Sometimes, I just get bits of blood randomly. Is there something wrong with me? Should I be worried because I’m now almost 15 and still haven’t had a full period? – Emma

Hey Emma,

I’m unsure what you mean by a “proper” period, so my best advice for that question is to see a doctor. Every woman has a different cycle – some are heavy and last up to seven days, some are light and only last for three or four days. Sometimes you may have a heavy period one month, then a light period for the next three months, then a heavy one again. If you haven’t had unprotected sex, you don’t need to worry about the possibility of being pregnant or contracting an STD. But if the inconsistency here is really bothering you, you should see a doctor to make sure everything is fine. Masturbating will never affect your menstrual cycle, so don’t worry about that. Why are bleeding during masturbation? You might be too rough, you may have cut yourself down there, or you might need more lubrication. Bleeding during masturbation shouldn’t be something that happens every time, so try more lube, be more gentle, or ask your doc about it.

 

My friend told me that I shouldn’t masturbate because only unattractive girls masturbate. She said that I should just have sex because if you’re pretty, any guy will do it with you. I’m interested in masturbating, but I don’t want my friends to judge me. – Nikki

Hi Nikki,

Um, your friend is totally wrong about this. Masturbation has nothing to do with how attractive you are. In fact, it has nothing to do with anyone but you. Don’t let her twisted view of masturbation scare you. If you want to start exploring yourself, go for it! It isn’t anyone’s business what you do to pleasure yourself. If you’ve already had sex, masturbation may be a good way to find out what you like in the bedroom and from your partner. If you have’t had sex yet, don’t rush into anything you are not comfortable with because of something your friend said. Either way, do whatever feels comfortable and right for you. Set your own pace, no one is judging you.

I am able to orgasm when I masturbate, but I can’t seem to orgasm while having sex. Am I being impatient? I’ve only had sex four times so far with my friend. Does my body need to get used to sex or are we not doing it right? – ewil96

Hey Ewil96,

It is very common when you first start having sex to not have a vaginal orgasm. In fact, a study in 2009, found that about 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone. That means that a ton of woman aren’t having an orgasm without some sort of clitoral or G-Spot stimulation. It might just be that you and your partner haven’t found the right position for you to have an orgasm. Keep trying new ways, and if you need to add your own hand or a sex toy, go for it! Reaching an orgasm with a partner takes some time. You can even use some of the moves that you do with yourself with your partner to get you an orgasm. There is nothing wrong with letting him know how you feel. If you need something from him, ask it, it’s only going to make sex better for the both of you. Just make sure that you guys are having protected sex when trying anything new.

Are you still a virgin if you masterbate? – Lola

Hi Lola,

Virginity is a relative thing. It means different things to different people. Many believe that you only lose your virginity if you are vaginally penetrated by a penis. Others find that any sexual act after kissing means that you have lost your virginity. It’s all up to you and what you are comfortable with. If you don’t think of masturbation as losing your virginity, then it’s not. Don’t let anyone pressure you into thinking that because you are exploring yourself that you are somehow not a virgin. It’s not up to them. If you are interested in masturbation, give it a shot! There is no harm in trying and there is nothing to feel ashamed about. Good luck!

Do you have more masturbation questions? Are you nervous that you could be doing it wrong? Let us know in the comments below!  

Everything You Need To Know About Masturbation

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  • Courtney

    i was just like you until i hit 17. i was terrified of tampons too. just hop in the bathtub and make sure you are fully relaxed. use some lube on your fingers for easy glide and dont really think about it. just do it. its surprisingly easy the second time and then after. the initial time is just scary and you tense up which is what causes the pain

  • Courtney

    i used to masturbate up to three times a day, orgasming 95% of the time. it was fantastic. but one day my clitoris just started to HURT and it has been hurting like this for maybe 4 years. i can still get aroused but any touching in that region is actually quite painful. i went to see my obgyn a few months after it first started to hurt but she said everything looked fine and there was nothing wrong with it. has this ever happened to anyone else? is it maybe due to medications? some of my pills are libido killers so im not horny like every waking minute. im very rarely aroused and it is only ever like pressure in my chest. not my boobs but my actual chest. i know that that is because of medication but is that also why my clit is like broken?