We don’t always have control over who we fall for… in fact, we rarely do. So it stinks when the person we start crushing on is someone who is also completely off-limits. And by off-limits I mean that if you date or hook up with this person, at least one other person is guaranteed to be mad at you forever. One of the worst situations? Having a crush on your best friend’s boyfriend.
When you like your BFF’s BF, you feel almost every emotion ever: guilt for basically betraying her, jealousy at seeing the two of them together, anger at yourself for being in this situation, sadness that you’ll probably never get to act on these feelings, confusion because you don’t know what to do… I could go on and on. I know you need a helping hand right now, girl. Here are 10 tips on what to do if you like your best friend’s boyfriend:
Don't Beat Yourself UpPlease don't feel horrible about yourself because you like him. Having a crush on someone you're not supposed to like doesn't make you a horrible person. If you acted on it secretly, that would be bad. But just liking a friend's boyfriend is not a crime. It's not ideal, but it's not something that brands you as a bad person. Remember that we can't always control our feelings and we can't always help who we like. Plus, you and your bestie are probably so close for a reason - it almost makes sense that you would like the same guy she does. Source: ShutterStock
Realize That Making A Move Will Probably Ruin Your FriendshipI know that there may be times when you're tempted to flirt or even make a move on this guy, especially if he flirts with you too. But remember that doing anything with him while he's with your friend is going to ruin your friendship forever. I don't know many girls who would continue to be best friends with a girl who stole their boyfriend. Is it really worth it? The answer is probably no. Source: ShutterStock
Avoid Being Alone With HimTo save your friendship and your sanity, don't put yourself in a situation where you're alone with this guy. It will only make things harder for you. And if he flirts with you two, it is really a recipe for disaster. If you can, avoid being alone with him as much as possible. Source: ShutterStock
Avoid Being Around The Two Of Them TogetherYou should also try to avoid being around the two of them together. I know that this might be hard - maybe even impossible if your BFF is always with him. But for at least a little bit while you're trying to get over him, don't be around them, even if that means losing some time with your bestie. Seeing them together is going to make you feel really sad, angry and jealous, and that won't help you move on. Source: ShutterStock
Try To Figure Out Exactly Why You Like HimTake a minute to think about why you like this guy. What about him makes you have a crush? Is it his personality? His looks? The way he treats your friend? Pinpoint the thing you like about him and look for it in someone else. Or consider that it could even be a jealousy thing. Sometimes when we see someone close to us really happy with someone, we want that in our lives too. You might like the idea of this guy more than you actually like him. One other thing to consider: are you and your best friend competitive? If you have a competitive friendship, you could be trying to compete with her for this guy without even realizing it. If that's the case, let it go. Source: ShutterStock
Try To Focus On Someone or Something ElseAnother way to get over someone is to put your energy and focus into someone, or something, else. When I'm trying to move on from a crush, I put all of my energy into something, whether it's work or school or a hobby. You can also look for similar qualities in other guys to find a new crush who will take your mind off your friend's BF. Distracting yourself might really work. Source: ShutterStock
Don't Tell Her Right AwayI know that honesty is important in any kind of relationship, and I know you probably feel really guilty about not telling your BFF something this big. But if you have no ides what's going to happen with you and this guy, or if you have no intention of taking things further, then telling her is a bad idea. It's probably going to ruin your friendship. If you have no intention of being with him, why tell her? I know that sounds wrong, but sometimes some things are better left unsaid. Source: ShutterStock
Think About Who Matters MoreIf you're confused about what to do, think about what matters more to you: your best friend, or a guy who you don't even definitely have a future with you? I'll be honest with you and say that you should always choose the friend. Relationships are, quite often, temporary, especially ones that start like this. A friend could be forever, especially a best friend. Are you really willing to throw a close friendship away to try to be with a guy? I mean, if you are, that's your decision. But really, really think about it. Source: ShutterStock
Don't Do Anything That Would Make It Possible To Cross A LineThis means no flirting, no alone time, no online messaging, no trying to find out how he feels about you. Don't put yourself in a bad situation. Don't make it possible to be with him in a sexual way. If you want to be with this guy, you need to tell your friend - don't go behind her back and betray her. Source: ShutterStock
Only Talk To Her If It's Getting Out Of ControlHere's when you tell your friend how you feel: if you hook up with her BF, if he says he likes you two and you guys decide you want to be together, or if you're so in love with him that you know you can't be quiet about it. In these cases, being honest with her is the most respectful thing you can do. It will be a very difficult conversation, but if that's what you feel like you have to do, then... you have to do it. Source: ShutterStock
Have you ever had a crush on your best friend’s boyfriend? Have you ever hooked up with someone else’s boyfriend? What did you do? Tell me in the comments.