10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Black Girl Dating A White Dude

When I first got braids a couple of months ago, I was riddled with compliments. It was a huge change from the curly auburn afro I’ve been rocking for the past few years, so it was easy enough to see why people were excited about the change. But while most of my friends were telling me that my hair reminded them of Janet Jackson’s in Poetic Justice, the guy I’d been seeing was bemused when he saw me in person with my waist-length new do.

“Wow,” he said, eyes wide. “I didn’t know your hair was…so long.

Let the record show that this dude is incredibly intelligent, but it was clear that black hair confused the hell out of him. Let the record also show that this dude is white. I would never have to explain to a black dude that I was clearly wearing braided hair extensions!

Hair is just the beginning. Here are 10 things you’ll only understand if you’re a black girl dating a white dude.

1. You have to teach them everything about black hair.

solange afro

And I mean everything.

2. Getting weird looks from old white people walking down the street.

old white people

Stop staring, please. This is not 1965.


3. And sometimes from black folks too.

everybody hates chris say what

Oh the shade!


4. That moment when you stop being reluctant to talk about race issues because, get real, you’re not dating an ignorant jerk.

jessica williams stand your ground racism

And if they’re not prepared for it then bye.


5. People assume that just because your BF is white that you’re only into white dudes.

super side eye

Uh, no, hotness has no skin color.


6. Wondering if people are judging him for dating a black chick in the first place.

cosy show clair huxtable filing nails side eye

Obviously those people can eat dirt.


7. You’re a little self-conscious about wrapping your hair at night in front of them for the first time but pfft, they better get used to it.

afro fluff

Make him help!


8. Coming to terms with the fact that there are some things about being black that they will just never get, no matter how empathetic they are.

skins grace um

Frustrating but true.


9. Hoping their parents aren’t racist.

jessica williams racist

That would be, er, awkward to say the least.


10. Sometimes there are moments where you are super aware that they are white

white dudes workaholics

But hey, let’s try to make this work, right?


Are you in the same boat? Have you experienced any general interracial relationship weirdness? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

Yes, Finding Entire Races Of People Unattractive Is Pretty Racist

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  • Tonka Goldman

    At 47, never married, no kids. I am white, set up, don’t have to work any more, paid off my house and car, grow fruit for annual income. Now looking at buying a boat. I have always had the hots for Asian girls. I saw my first African girl in real life a month or so ago, and I want one now. But I have found the first question they ask is how much money do you have?

  • DCH

    I am a black woman in long term relationship w/ White man for 15 years. We have been through a lot together and now he is one of my best allies as a woman of color and best friends as a person. One question though: I have natural hair. We have noticed that this is the case in many instances w/ white man, black woman. I have a couple theories as to why, but curious what others think. Also curious about if this is also true with same-sex couples w/ a white woman and black woman.

  • Axelle

    OMG that is my life in 10 pics. You have know idea how many times a guy has introduced me to their mom, and she was like ‘I never would have guessed’
    P.S. check out my blog: http://theaxelle.weebly.com/

  • raspberry_fizz

    I totally get this, but obviously not in the same way. Being white and dating a black guy is really hard too, sometimes you feel the world is completely against inter-racial relationships