Hello, my name is Caitlin, and I’m a scaredy cat. I hate scary things, and I am afraid of basically everything. I jump at my own shadow, people walking around the corner and the vibration of my phone on the desk. The majority of my scaredy cat-ness stems from my anxiety. I am anxious about a lot of things, therefore I am afraid of a lot of things. It makes sense. However, there are a lot of things that I’m not anxious about that scare me too. This makes the Halloween season really difficult for me.
I hate Halloween. Well, I love dressing up in fun costumes and doing fun makeup, but I hate that everything is scary. I do not watch scary movies or enjoy gore. I hate scary costumes and am not fun to scare because I legitimately freak out. (Just ask my dad who thinks it’s fun to scare me at any given moment.)
A few weeks ago, I went to Halloween Horror Nights 24 at the Universal Orlando Resort. You see, we had just spent the day at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter (more on that later) where I had the best time of my life. We went back to the park at night for an exclusive look at Halloween Horror Nights, which features eight haunted houses and a bunch of scare zones.
I knew it was going to be tough for me considering the last time I went to a haunted house I was 15, and I kicked a clown and ran out the emergency exit crying. I went through the first haunted house, terrified the entire time, and ran out the end screaming. And crying. And on the verge of a panic attack. Everyone was really cool about it once I explained that I have a legit illness that makes scary things not fun for me at all. I skipped the worst houses (dolls, clowns and Michael Myers) but made it through totally not real things like Alien vs. Predator.
Long story short, Halloween is a rough time of year for me because I’m terrified of everything. If you’re a scaredy cat like me, you can definitely relate to hating these things:
1. The dark
Why, yes, I am terrified of the dark, thanks.
2. Anyone in masks
Can you just not wear that around me ever?
3. Haunted houses
THAT LITERALLY IS ME.
4. The idea of going to a stranger’s house
You don’t know these people! What if they’re murderers?!
5. The idea of eating candy from said stranger’s house
I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO TAKE CANDY FROM STRANGERS WHY IS THIS OKAY?
6. The idea of people showing up to your house
Hi, hello. I did not invite you here to terrorize my home with your grubby candy hands.
7. Scary movies
To be fair, I think The Mummy is scary so I am not the best judge.
8. Scary movie commercials
If I see that Annabelle commercial one more time, I’m going to lose it.
9. People thinking it’s fun to pull scary pranks
YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. AT ALL. AND I HATE YOU.
10. People telling urban legends
Yeah, you know what Halloween needs? More scary stories.
11. Ouija boards
12. Being alone
Nope nope nope.
Oh, a creak in the floor? MUST BE A PSYCHO KILLER.
14. Phone calls
Hello? Are you a slasher? No? Oh, okay.
15. Literally everything
Hiding until Thanksgiving, BYE.
What are your dating deal-breakers? Do you have any to add to this list? Tell us in the comments!
You can reach this post’s author, Caitlin Corsetti, on Twitter and Instagram!