5 Comment Questions: Is Your Ex Over You?

What's-happeningGetting over an ex can be really hard and, at times, feel almost impossible. You’re always upset, you continue to think about the good times you had together, and you just want to know why?! But what happens when it’s your ex is the one who’s not over it?! He talks to you one day, and the next he’s ignoring you. He suggests that he misses you but gets a new girlfriend every other month. And he tells his friends that your relationship was the best he’s ever had. Yet… you guys are still broken up. What’s the deal?

Figuring out if you ex isn’t over you can drive anyone crazy. The constant questions and lengthy talk sessions with your friends is leading no where and you just really want to know what is going on. We know that this is an awful place to be here are 5 reader’s questions on if their exes are over them.

 

To Call Or Not To Call?

My boyfriend and I went out for nearly three years. We both were dealing with being in a long distance relationship and found it tough. He was too busy with work and made little time to see me, so I ended things. We haven’t had much contact in the past few months but I’ve heard from friends he is still really struggling with our break up. I do still love him, but I don’t know if should I try and contact him now. Help! – Crazy girl 

Hi Crazy girl,

Three years is a really long time to be in a relationship with someone and those feelings don’t just disappear. It sounds like the reason you two couldn’t keep the relationship afloat is because there was a huge lack of communication and effort. Being long distant can be hard on any relationship, but both sides have to be constantly trying in order to make things work. If you are hearing from others that he may still have feelings for you, and you feel the same way, then you owe it to yourself to talk to him about it. It doesn’t have to be a huge grand gesture of love or anything super dramatic. Send him a, “Hey, haven’t talked in a while. How have you been?” text. See how he responds to the message. If he seems eager to talk to you and seems genuinely interested, and you want to try again, then I say go for it! You’ve got nothing to lose and knowing where you two stand is so much better than living with doubt and unresolved feelings. But if you’re going to try to date again, know that you have to work on the issues that ended your relationship before. It’s definitely something you need to discuss together. Good luck!

Should We Or Shouldn’t We Be Hooking Up?

My ex boyfriend and I, after a few months of breaking up, decided to become friends with benefits. I’m a virgin and I don’t really want to have sex with him, but he’s always asking me for sexy’pictures. Sometimes he’ll be all sweet but most of the time he’s just asking for that kind of stuff. He calls me babe and I’m under the impression that he still has feelings for me. Should I stop this relationship or should I see where it goes? – Andrea

Hey Andrea,

Okay, let’s start out with becoming FWB with your ex. I’m not that big of a fan of these kind of relationships. I think there are too many left-over emotions, and someone always gets hurt. Be honest with yourself here: do you still have feelings for this guy? Because by your comment of seeing “where it goes,” I feel like you do. And honestly, I don’t think it’s going to go anywhere. This guy obviously just wants to hook up. If that’s all you want, then there’s nothing wrong with continuing this FWB relationship. But if you’re looking for something more, then you should stop before you get really hurt. As for being a virgin: you definitely don’t have to have sex with your ex or do anything else you don’t want to do. If you’re comfortable sending sexy pictures, okay. But remember that whatever you send can be shown to anyone and could potentially end up online. Be very careful and keep your face out of any shots just in case!

Scared To Know The Truth

My ex boyfriend and I dated for nearly three years. Last November we broke up but we still talk even though he has had multiple girlfriends since our split. He’s always the one to initiate the conversations by texting me first. I’m confused about how he feels and I’m scared to ask him. He told my best friend that he still likes me and wanted to stop talking to me because his feelings were getting stronger. We talk for at least an hour each day. I need to know if he still likes me and wants to get back together. – Chantelle

Hi Chantelle,

Hearing about other peoples feelings through another person isn’t something that I would base a decision off of. You said you guys dated for three years; why are you so afraid to be open and honest with him? I would absolutely ask him the next time he texts you if you guys can meet face to face to have a chat. If he can talk about his feelings to your friends then he can certainly talk to you. Tell him that you are confused by his constant communication even though he’s had a bunch of girlfriends since you guys broke up. Stop being so timid and talk to him to see how he feels. It’s the only way you’re going to get your answer. Good luck!

Holiday Hookup, Now What?

I dated my boyfriend for a long time but things changed when I left for college. He started to act very rude and even stopped communicating with me. When I asked what was wrong he said that he needed space to explore and that he didn’t love me anymore. When I went home for the holidays, he contacted me and asked to see me. We hung out during my break, but when I got back to school he told me that I should forget about him and move on with my life. It’s hard because I still love him and it hurts a lot what do I do? – Tanzania

Hey Tanzania,

Ugh! Coming home to an ex for a school break can be really tough, especially if you guys can’t seem to figure out how to work when you are away. I don’t blame you for being confused. I thin your ex doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings or where your relationship fits. He sounds like he is the type of guy that can only be committed to someone that he can physically be with all the time. There is nothing wrong with that – some people do not work well in long distance relationships. My best advice is to leave him alone. He’s pushed you away multiple times and seems like he really does want to end the relationship. Maybe the best thing for you guys to do is have a clean break and get some closure. That is the only way that you both will be able to move on from this. I wouldn’t keep harboring feelings for him, it seems like he is trying to move on and so should you.

How Do I Know If He Still Likes Me?

Me and my ex-boyfriend dated and then he broke up with me and I was really hurt. We still talk as friends and we hang out a lot. I think he might still like me but I’m not sure. I really like him a lot and I miss him. I just don’t know how to tell if he likes me and if he does like me, then how to tell him I like him to? Help!Marisa

Hi Marisa,

Knowing if someone likes you is 50 percent the way they act around you and 50 percent talking to them to see how they feel. When you two hang out, does he always find a way to touch you? Have there been any kind of hookups since you two split? Does he often talk to you more than he talks to the group that you guys are hanging out with? If he checks any of these boxes, it’s possible that he might still have feelings for you. But you cannot determine this by his actions alone. You have to talk to him and see how he feels. Once you figure this out, you can gauge whether or not to let him know that you still have feelings for him. This is a tough situation to be in and I don’t blame you for being confused. But your chances of figuring out his feelings about you are pretty high. Go for it! You’ve got nothing to lose!

Are you dealing with an ex? Do you think your ex isn’t over you? Let us know in the comments below! 

10 Signs Your Ex Isn’t Over You

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  • Licia

    My ex and I broke up several months ago, but we still talk as kinda/sorta friends, but not close or best friends like we used to be. I’m still not over him, and I’ve been holding onto the hope that we might get back together in the future. But I have no idea whether he might want or be thinking about getting back together in the future, because he’s so hard to read and I feel like just asking him straight up would make him start avoiding me if he doesn’t feel the same way, or if he assumes that I want to get back together immediately(which I don’t), and he doesn’t. Help!

  • cresia

    Me and my ex was friends for 2 years before we dated then we dated then we broke up and still was intimate and seeing each other talking and texting then all of a sudden he moved on and wouldn’t tell me and still won’t tell me he told somebody else and they told me but he tell people different stories about his girlfriend and me what should i do we don’t talk nomore but i still kinda care for him and have the dreams

  • Cathy

    I’ve gone out with my ex for 31/2 years .Towards the end of the relationship he wasn’t really paying that much attention to me, was nasty during fights, and he was immature. I ended up kissing someone else drunk one night by mistake. We broke up in the beginning of the summer and didn’t speak the entire summer. Two months later during the end we started to hookup again but just as a friends with benefits type deal. He moved to his college so when I asked him what our relationship was he said that he just wanted to be single during college. So I agreed because I honestly was happy that we were on good terms again and it filled the loneliness I was going through. Every once and a while I go up to see him. We do “that stuff” but we also hangout like old times. He still calls me babe and we hangout like nothing has changed. But when it comes to us not being together he doesn’t text me but he snap chats me once in a blue moon. (BTW: the only time he talks to me is through snap chat messaging)–immaturity. Its like when im with him he treats me like his gf again but when Im away I don’t exist. Now im contemplating what I should do because its like I can handle it but at the same time its starting to play with my emotions. I want to ask him if he wants to be together again but im afraid he will stop communicating with me all together. I need help I am stuck.