I am very self-conscious about my boobs. They started growing when I was 8-years-old, and in no time I was a B cup. I am now 13 and I am almost an E cup, and I’m really worried that there’s something wrong with me! Plus my nipples are huge. I don’t have the guts to talk to anyone about it, and I am so very cautious when I am talking about boobs with my friends. Plus, it doesn’t help that all the boys are always staring and teasing me about them. I go to bed nearly every night crying because of this.
But then I have all of my friends who keep saying how lucky I am that I have big boobs when all I want is them to go away! I told my best friend about it and asked if she thought my boobs were weird. She said that most women don’t have big nipples and most people don’t have boobs this big when they’re this young. So now I think there’s something wrong with me. I really want to do to the doctor but I’m scared to talk to my mom about it. You don’t know how much it will help me if you reply!
First of all, I am giving you a virtual hug right now. I’m so sorry you feel this self-conscious and upset about your boobs! I hate that other people are making you feel worse about this when they should be comforting you. Second, I want to promise you that there is nothing wrong with your breast size. Seriously. You don’t need to see a doctor, and you shouldn’t listen to your best friend – there is nothing abnormal or weird about your boobs.
I totally get that you’re confused because none of your friends have boobs the same size as yours. But that doesn’t make you weird. Every women experiences breast growth in different ways. For some women, their boobs won’t start growing until they’re a little older, maybe 16 or 17-years-old. Some women’s breasts will never really grow that much at all. For some women, it will happen gradually, over time. And some women, like yourself, will experience a lot of breast growth all at once. That doesn’t mean you’re weird, it just means you’re developing faster.
Similarly, no set of boobs are created equally. By this I mean that some girls, like you (like you) will have pretty big boobs, while other girls will have small boobs. Some girls will have medium-sized boobs, others will have almost non-existent ones. Some girls will have large nipples (like you!), others will have small ones. Some nipples are very dark, some are very light, some are uneven and some are bumpy. The point is, every woman has a different set of breasts. It’s okay that your boobs might not look like anyone else’s (who you know).
As for the boys who are staring at you and teasing you, please try to ignore them as much as you can. Prepubescent boys cannot control themselves around breasts, especially ones that are on the larger size. They’re immature, and don’t know how to handle the sexual feelings they’re having when they see them. You can’t control what they do, but you can control how you react. Ignore their comments and remind yourself that they just need to grow up, or tell them off (although this might provoke further teasing once they know they’re getting to you). If it gets really bad, don’t feel too embarrassed to get a teacher or other authority figure involved.
And as for feeling less self-conscious? You just need to learn to accept your boobs, even if they are growing a little too fast for your liking. Right now, there’s nothing you can do to change their size, so learn to love and embrace them. Boobs are awesome! And if you really want to downplay them, read this. But please learn to feel comfortable with yourself the way you are – as corny as it sounds, it really will help. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that your boobs are amazing every day. Eventually, you will start to believe it.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org