A few weeks ago, I was scanning my Facebook Newsfeed when I saw a guy I knew from high school, who I had thought was cool, post a long, ranty status about girls. It went something like this: “Why do girls always ignore me? Oh, I guess because I’m such a nice guy, and girls only like a**holes. They ignore the nice guys like me, and only date guys who treat them badly. Then they complain and wonder why they can’t find a good guy. Hey girls, maybe if you stop whoring yourselves out, wear less makeup, and wear a little more clothing, you’ll actually meet someone nice. But you’ll probably ignore him too.” I was so disgusted and furious that I immediately unfriended him, because I don’t need that kind of person in any aspect of my life.
How many times have you seen a status like that one? How many times have you heard a guy whine about how he’s “so nice,” before he goes off into a long rant about everything that is wrong with the female population these days? It has become so common, that now, whenever I hear a guy stress how “nice” he is, alarms go off in my head. Warning, warning! This guy is actually just a self-involved, whiney tool who thinks he deserves sex and love simply because he’s “nice.” In other words, he’s a jerk.
There are way too many dudes out there masquerading as nice guys when, actually, they suck. You don’t want to date a guy like that, because it means he’s immature, entitled, and possibly a little bit misogynistic. Avoid them as much as possible by memorizing these 10 signs that the “nice guy” is actually a huge jerk. Good luck out there, girls.
He's Been In The 'Friend Zone' More Times Than You Can CountI'll tell you a secret: the friend zone doesn't really exist. The friend zone was seemingly invented by "nice guys" of the world, who feel sorry for themselves when their female friends don't like them back. These guys feel that just because they're nice to a female friend and because they have feelings for her, she should have them back. They're entitled. Hey, guess what? Just because someone is nice to you doesn't mean you need to be attracted to them! When guys complain about how they're in the "friend zone," what they're really doing is whining about how the girl they like doesn't like them back... and acting like she should, just because they want her to. Sure, it sucks when you treat someone well and they don't have those feelings for you. But you can't get mad at them for that, or act like they're a stupid person because they don't like you. That's ridiculous! No one is a bad person just because they don't have a crush on you. Acting like they are just makes you look really immature.
He's Always Complaining About How Girls Only Like Bad GuysHow many times have you heard a "nice" guy say something like, "Why do girls only like bad guys? I don't get it. They bring it upon themselves." I mean, honestly? Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it. We can't control who we're attracted to. Sure, some girls fall for guys who don't treat them nicely. But just as many guys fall for girls who don't treat them nicely. If a guy acts like a girl is dumb for falling for the wrong person, it just shows what an idiot he is. Also, dudes? When you complain about how girls "never" like you even though you're "SO nice," you just sound really whiney and annoying.
He Never Takes The Blame For AnythingNo matter what happens, a "nice" guy masquerading as a jerk will never take the blame for anything. He will always manage to turn a situation around so that it seems like it was someone else's fault. If a girl doesn't want to date him, it's not because he might have been too pushy or simply just not her type... it's because she "goes out too much" or "only likes jerks." If his relationship ends, it's not because he did something wrong... it's because of something his ex did. If he acts like a jerk or says something mean, it's because he's always "tried to be a nice guy" but it hasn't worked, so he "might as well try being a jerk." I've heard ALL of this before. Never trust someone who refuses to take accountability for anything.
He's Constantly Feeling Sorry For Himself"Nice" guys love to feel sorry for themselves. They love to complain about how single they are, how they're always the third wheel. They love to say things like, "I just don't know why girls don't like me. I'm SUCH a good guy." There's nothing they love more than fishing for compliments by saying things like, "Why am I single? I'm so great. (Sad face)" and waiting for the comments like, "you'll find someone who appreciates you one day!" to roll in. Please. Give me a break. I have no patience for anyone who spends this amount of time feeling sorry for themselves, and neither should you.
He Puts Women DownI've already said this, but I'll say it again. A classic "nice" guy move is to state how great they are, and then go into a long story about how much women today suck. Women dress too "slutty" these days. Women only want to date guys who will treat them like crap. Women go out way too often. We drink too much. We flirt too much. We wear too much makeup. The list goes on and on. If you hear a guy explaining that he can't meet a girl because he "can't find any good girls these days," please run far away. These are more than likely the same dudes who will say we're asking for rape if we wear a short skirt or get a little too intoxicated at a party. These guys suck.
He Always Compares Himself To OthersA "nice" guy will waste no time telling you how much better he is than every other guy out there. And, of course, the only people who spend extensive amounts of time discussing how amazing they are are narcissists. I once went on a date with a guy who spent almost the entire dinner letting me know how much better he was than everyone else, how nice he was, how he would make the best boyfriend in the world. Yet, the entire time, he didn't ask me one question about myself or try to get to know me at all. In fact, I don't think he said anything about me, except to note that I "seemed like one of the rare good girls in the world." Aw. Was I supposed to be flattered? Because I was ready to stab myself with my butter knife.
He Gets Mad When Things Don't Go His WayWhen a "nice" guy doesn't get what he wants, he freaks out - because he's a jerk, and he wants things HIS way. He's not taking anyone else's feelings or thoughts into consideration. He's only thinking about himself. He doesn't understand why he can't have what he wants because he's entitled, and believes he deserves these things no matter what. So when he doesn't get the girl he wants, he has a little hissy fit because he can't understand why everything isn't in his favor.
He Wants Your Life To Be All About HimA "nice" guy who is really a jerk will try to make your life revolve around him. He's probably a little controlling, and maybe really jealous. He doesn't want you to have nights with your friends - he wants you to be with him all the time. He doesn't like when your opinions don't match up with his, because he always has to be right. Any guy who is like this is a jerk, and trust me, you don't want to date him. Being in a relationship isn't about controlling someone, and anyone who thinks that is immature and not ready for one.
He Says Mean Things About His ExesWe've all ranted about our exes before. We've all felt so heartbroken and angry that the only thing we can do is tear that person down to try to feel better. Honestly, it's part of the healing process. But as you grow and mature, you should start to realize that you can't be angry at your ex forever, and that sometimes, things just weren't meant to work out, and it's probably for the better. A mature, true nice guy knows that it's not appropriate to immediately talk badly about their ex to the girl they're interested in. But a jerk doesn't know this. A jerk will tell you everything that's wrong with his ex until you're "convinced" that he was the victim in their relationship.
He Always Reminds You Of How Nice He IsThis is probably the biggest warning sign. A "nice" guy who is actually a jerk will never stop reminding you of how nice he is. He'll make sure to tell everyone he meets that he's "one of the few nice guys left in the world." He'll constantly post statuses on social media about how nice he is. He'll find quotes about how "nice guys finish last." He'll proudly state on his OK Cupid profile that he's a "nice guy," before saying something offensive and wrong. Let me tell you something, guys: if a person is truly nice, they will not need to spend their lives proving how nice they are. I promise.
Do you know any “nice” guys who are actually jerks? Which signs do you disagree with? What did I forget? Tell me in the comments.