10 Signs The “Nice Guy” Is Actually A Jerk

A few weeks ago, I was scanning my Facebook Newsfeed when I saw a guy I knew from high school, who I had thought was cool, post a long, ranty status about girls. It went something like this: “Why do girls always ignore me? Oh, I guess because I’m such a nice guy, and girls only like a**holes. They ignore the nice guys like me, and only date guys who treat them badly. Then they complain and wonder why they can’t find a good guy. Hey girls, maybe if you stop whoring yourselves out, wear less makeup, and wear a little more clothing, you’ll actually meet someone nice. But you’ll probably ignore him too.” I was so disgusted and furious that I immediately unfriended him, because I don’t need that kind of person in any aspect of my life.

How many times have you seen a status like that one? How many times have you heard a guy whine about how he’s “so nice,” before he goes off into a long rant about everything that is wrong with the female population these days? It has become so common, that now, whenever I hear a guy stress how “nice” he is, alarms go off in my head. Warning, warning! This guy is actually just a self-involved, whiney tool who thinks he deserves sex and love simply because he’s “nice.” In other words, he’s a jerk.

There are way too many dudes out there masquerading as nice guys when, actually, they suck. You don’t want to date a guy like that, because it means he’s immature, entitled, and possibly a little bit misogynistic.  Avoid them as much as possible by memorizing these 10 signs that the “nice guy” is actually a huge jerk. Good luck out there, girls.

Do you know any “nice” guys who are actually jerks? Which signs do you disagree with? What did I forget? Tell me in the comments.

You can follow the author, Jessica Booth, on Twitter or Instagram.

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  • Kgirl

    I am a 28y/o woman with three children and a loving husband. I feel that as a woman, yes, sometimes men who claim to be nice tend to think that this is all it takes, but as a mother, a wife and a sister, i do agree that there are toooooo many crazy chics out there that are very ungrateful of the truly nice and kind men of the world. And that we really do complain a lot about how “there aren’t any good guys out there”. Truth is there are many great men but women tend to be very vain and we too like to think(at times) that we are entitled to the best looking, richest men who have gr.eat personalities just because we’re “hot” and have the power of the p***y. I do not agree with calling women whores or sluts but i do think we are part of the name calling problem and could help out by not dressing the part. I understand feminism is about giving women choices but in the words of Dave Chapelle-dont wear the whore uniform…it as confusing as someone dressing like a police officer only to say “just because im dressed like this doesnt make me a police officer”. Girls, give the nice ones a chance even if they’re not too hot.

  • johnathan

    hey Dylan, just checking in. Are you still a faggot? We’re worried about you, bud.
    – Men

  • Jack

    You can’t really categorize people so easily. I attract a lot of strong willed, high maintenance types because well I’m strong willed myself. I keep myself in good shape, I am educated and read a lot. Problem is lots of women like this, are essentially “bitches” they test you by being extremely jealous, or display trust issues, go hot and cold a lot. Last one really hurt me bad. Probably because we had been planning marriage and kids… It was a long distance thing… Very long distance. We met online, just talked for a couple months, I didn’t even try to seduce the girl, just talked. She acted very sweet and kind before we finally met in person. She did admit to her trust issues but I thought well I have issues too, I may seem tough on the outside but I can become depressed and anxious. So I said well I want you to trust me. She seemed reasonable about it. Then when I went to visit her for a month… All the bitching started. She started ragging on me about female friends, getting pissed when I looked at a girl… Totally flipped the switch in person. Now there is a way to handle this and it’s to not tolerate it. I should have told her to “cut the shit and trust me or it won’t work” instead I said things like “so do you want me to stay or go?”. I offered her the power, because that’s all it is really is about power in the relationship and who will lead it. Since it was long distance and we were getting to know eachother… I tried to discuss her trust problems instead of just flat out telling her I wouldn’t tolerate it. In the end, there was one time she “broke” me. At a night club one night I said something that was stupid but really harmless and she flipped and I ended up apologizing and sort of caving in. Well that’s not how to handle a girl like that. Because I just lost respect from her in her eyes. Anyway she cheated on me a few weeks after I left even though besides that… We had a really deep connection and talked about everything and the sex was good. This one really broke me, it was as close as I’ve ever come to proposing but I needed to step up and tell her to stop.

  • Douchifer

    I women really only dated “assholes”, a lot of these self-professed “nice guys” would have no problem getting a girlfriend.

  • Joy8889

    I feel like this article just really shows the writer’s point of view and shows little interest and understanding of what anybody else is going through.
    The guy shouldn’t have written that Facebook Status, but he was lashing out. Everybody lashes out every now and then and gets frustrated, it’s just human nature. In fact this article in itself, is one big ‘lash-out’. Not any different from the guy in his Facebook status. It’s hard to miss the irony in this.
    I think if you unfriend all people who express a slightly different opinion than yours, you might quickly end up without friends. I don’t unfriend people just because I don’t agree with them. They are entitled to their opinion, and I think it’s always best to try to keep a certain level of tolerance. Some guys use the ‘friendzone’ argument a bit too much, I agree on that one. But I think it’s also to be seen as a joke. I’m a girl, but even I laugh at the ‘friendzone jokes’. Lets’ face it, they’re funny.
    However, I understand why the so-called ‘nice guys’ get frustrated from time to
    time. A lot of my girlfriends actually DO say things like ‘I like him but he’s too nice’, ‘He always wants to do what I want to do, he’s such a people-pleaser. I get bored around him’ ‘He seems like one of those nice guys.. I don’t think it’s sexy’
    I think people confuse two important aspects:
    1) being nice
    2) standing up for yourself
    Girls like guys who can stand up for themselves, because that’s sexy right ?
    However, people forget that a guy CAN be nice, but still stand up for
    himself. A guy can also be a douche, but unable to stand up for himself. The nice guy who can’t stand up for himself is really just a cliché, something you see in movies and TV shows.
    As for my personal experience, I never really was into the whole ‘bad boy’ routine. I personally tend to go for the nice guys, because they rock. The players and jerks actually BORE me, not the other way around. There’s nothing more boring than a guy who says a bunch of romantic crap just to get into a girls pants. But a guy who says what he truly feels, now that’s a keeper !

  • tiff

    totally agree with you. im scared of having relationship with a guy bcoz my dad and brother were both jerks!! but they seem like a nice guy from the outside and a girl who would marry my bro would really make a huge mistake of her life. i’ve been very cautious with these signs actually they’re so accurate. you nailed it 🙂

  • im just me

    the comment from zoe was not necessary. dylan i am sure you will find some girls who will appreciate your friendship. most do but get turned off by the guys who are not sincere friends. it sucks that it happens more often than not.

  • TheLulzWarrior

    “Probably written by a slut who likes screwing strangers.”

    No wonder “nice guys” have relation problems.

  • Channe

    Can’t believe I read all this shit.

    Probably written by a slut who likes screwing strangers.

  • Dylan

    Hi I’m a guy and before I start, you’re probably wondering what I’m doing on a teenage-girl’s website… well I’m a feminist who is usually mistaken for a girl because I’m “overly-sensitive” or I’m a girl because I love animals and I hate how teenage-boys are constantly pressured to act “masculine” and not have feelings. So I believe (MOST) teenage-boys are ridiculously stupid and (A LOT) of teenage-girls are ridiculously stupid for caring about what a stupid guy thinks of her in the first place.
    So I’m on this site because I have nothing better to do at the moment…
    Heck I even look at nice sweaters and think ooh it’s so colourful and designed I love it! and then I realise I’m at the woman’s section haha (oh so that’s why those people stare at me!)
    Yeah but to the point, I think you’re right a lot of “nice-guys” are just trying to get in a girls pants but there are genuine “nice-guys” too you know so I’m a little offended.
    The actual nice-guys are the ones who accept they are not perfect and don’t care weather a friendship with a girl leads to getting in her pants. (there are guys like this)
    I’m not saying I’m perfect but I’d like to think I’m a nice-guy and I would love to be able to start a friendship with a girl because I believe girls are more understanding and patient and caring and I know it sounds cheesy but I hate how a lot of girls I talked to thought “oh he’s just trying to get some” because really, all I want to do is have sensible conversations with someone and I would want to be friends with girls because I can relate more I just don’t understand boys at all.
    So please explain how you let a girl know you’re not just trying to get in her pants and genuinely trying to be nice? without saying it directly.

    • Zoe

      And that everyone is a prime example of a “nice guy” whos actually a jerk who think all women owe him something JUST because he thinks he’s a nice guy.

  • diane

    I don’t think there is something wrong with men who think they are nice so they deserve love :/ most people feel like that… Especially its true that most girl date boys who treats them bad then complain and blame all the men.

    • Lisa

      Who are these “most girls?” most girls I know have truly nice and loving boyfriends and husbands. And none of them call themselves “nice guys” again and again and again. Other people call them nice

    • Kelsey

      If you’re actually a nice person you don’t need to go around proclaiming it. Whining about how single you are isn’t going to make anyone want to date you. Just be your natural, true, nice self and people will take interest. The entire problem is men feeling entitled to women, to love, to sex, to whatever it is they want, just because they think they are nice. This is 100% not true. No one owes you anything, you don’t “deserve” something just because you say so.

  • LilleMeg

    Thank you so much for posting this, Jessica! I’ve been trying to find the words to explain how I feel about “nice guys”, and this is perfect! I’ve met way too many guys like this.