Whether or not you think sex is a big deal, deciding if you’re ready to have sex or not IS a big deal. It’s not like you’re suddenly going to completely change or become a sex fiend or anything if you decide to do it. But no one should jump into having sex if they’re not ready for it.
So how do you know if you’re ready? That’s what you’re talking about on the message boards. Let’s see what y’all had to say:
“Hi, I’m 14 and my boyfriend and I really want to have sex, we’ve known each other since primary school, and have been going out since yr 5. So, are we too young?”
I think you should have a serious discussion with your boyfriend and when deciding use all the protection you can (condoms, washing private areas).”
“No, you are not. Just be safe. The best thing to do is go to an unbiased clinic like Planned Parenthood and there you can get tested, receive advice for the best birth control, and get condoms for a couple cents or free. This option requires money and depending on the place you go an appointment and driver. Some Planned Parenthoods offer a plan that can help you to get birth control for free. Make sure both you and your boyfriend are educated and understand the consequences of sexual activities and be prepared to handle them, if they occur.
Understand your state. Some states make it harder to obtain such items like Plan B (the abortion pill). You can do all of this with or without your parents, however if you decide not to include them, it can take a while (a few months, don’t worry you have a lot of time). Just read and basically do sex education again. Doing this will ensure you and your boyfriend will enjoy sex. Good luck.”
“Yes you are. You are not aware with the emotions that will come after and you will not be prepared to deal with them.”
“Everyone matures emotionally and physically at different levels. That said, I think 14 is too young.”
“So hard to answer this. But try other stuff first and see how you like it. That will help you figure out if you’re ready for actual intercourse.”
“If you have been together five years, you probably plan on staying together. Personally, I would wait for a few more years, perhaps 16, which is the legal age of consent in some states and countries. There’s lots of other fun things a couple can do other then have sex. Make sure to plan ahead in regards to birth control and what to do about the future.”
In the United States, the federal age of consent is 16. (In some states, it might be higher but not lower.) If you’re under 16, you legally cannot consent to sex so having sex younger than that might bring on legal implications. Age of consent laws might now seem fair, but they are designed to protect you.
The decision to have sex involves a few things. You need to make sure you’re aware of all the consequences from STDs to pregnancy to emotional complications, and your partner needs to be aware as well. Are both of you clean? Have you been tested? You can have STDs even if you’re a virgin. Do you have protection like birth control pills and condoms?
You also need to consider how you’re feeling about it. Do you want to have sex because you really feel ready? Are you feeling pressured? Do you just want to get it out of the way? If it’s the latter two, you’re not ready. You need to be able to discuss all of these things openly with your partner. If you can’t talk about it, you’re not ready. Ultimately, the decision is up to you. Just make sure you have all of your bases covered.
What do you think? How do you know if you’re ready to have sex? Tell us in the comments!
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