How Do You Know If You’re Ready For Sex?

Whether or not you think sex is a big deal, deciding if you’re ready to have sex or not IS a big deal. It’s not like you’re suddenly going to completely change or become a sex fiend or anything if you decide to do it. But no one should jump into having sex if they’re not ready for it.

So how do you know if you’re ready? That’s what you’re talking about on the message boards. Let’s see what y’all had to say:

LemonCake asked:
“Hi, I’m 14 and my boyfriend and I really want to have sex, we’ve known each other since primary school, and have been going out since yr 5. So, are we too young?”

Frankie said:
I think you should have a serious discussion with your boyfriend and when deciding use all the protection you can (condoms, washing private areas).”

awkwardGal22 said:
“No, you are not. Just be safe. The best thing to do is go to an unbiased clinic like Planned Parenthood and there you can get tested, receive advice for the best birth control, and get condoms for a couple cents or free. This option requires money and depending on the place you go an appointment and driver. Some Planned Parenthoods offer a plan that can help you to get birth control for free. Make sure both you and your boyfriend are educated and understand the consequences of sexual activities and be prepared to handle them, if they occur.
Understand your state. Some states make it harder to obtain such items like Plan B (the abortion pill). You can do all of this with or without your parents, however if you decide not to include them, it can take a while (a few months, don’t worry you have a lot of time). Just read and basically do sex education again. Doing this will ensure you and your boyfriend will enjoy sex. Good luck.”

GinaT said:
“Yes you are. You are not aware with the emotions that will come after and you will not be prepared to deal with them.”

7emily7 said:
“Everyone matures emotionally and physically at different levels. That said, I think 14 is too young.”

flyingtoaster said:
“So hard to answer this. But try other stuff first and see how you like it. That will help you figure out if you’re ready for actual intercourse.”

Adriennecm said:
“If you have been together five years, you probably plan on staying together. Personally, I would wait for a few more years, perhaps 16, which is the legal age of consent in some states and countries. There’s lots of other fun things a couple can do other then have sex. Make sure to plan ahead in regards to birth control and what to do about the future.”

In the United States, the federal age of consent is 16. (In some states, it might be higher but not lower.) If you’re under 16, you legally cannot consent to sex so having sex younger than that might bring on legal implications. Age of consent laws might now seem fair, but they are designed to protect you.

The decision to have sex involves a few things. You need to make sure you’re aware of all the consequences from STDs to pregnancy to emotional complications, and your partner needs to be aware as well. Are both of you clean? Have you been tested? You can have STDs even if you’re a virgin. Do you have protection like birth control pills and condoms?

You also need to consider how you’re feeling about it. Do you want to have sex because you really feel ready? Are you feeling pressured? Do you just want to get it out of the way? If it’s the latter two, you’re not ready. You need to be able to discuss all of these things openly with your partner. If you can’t talk about it, you’re not ready. Ultimately, the decision is up to you. Just make sure you have all of your bases covered.

What do you think? How do you know if you’re ready to have sex? Tell us in the comments!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

You can reach this post’s author, Caitlin Corsetti, on Twitter and Instagram!

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Posted in: Boards, Sex
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  • basicallymee

    I want to badly but I don’t want to get pregerz or in trouble with da po po XD
    but seriously

  • Gogo gio

    I think u r old enogh I lost mine at 13 so u my friend r ready but be safe. 🙂 B-)

  • libby

    I think it is so stupid to say that age is important to determine if you are ready for sex or not. This is utter rubbish and pure hogwash. Now not everyone will agree with me. For the most of us, there will be some conformity and acknowledgement that there is a stupid law that governs and decides at what age we are ready for sex. Again this is very debatable. In the US and UK it is 16 but if you go to Europe and South America it is 13. What this suggests is that there is NO right age or cut off age to decide when it is okay to engage in sexual activities.
    People need to realise that we are biological beings and we have instinct. While generally society has been able to stifle our instinct and need to have sex and have infact introduced laws to stop us from having sex below the age of 16, there will be some of us who because of our natural biological instinct will go out, find a mate and have sex. This is NOT abnormal or illegal. This is a natural process and the ones who make the laws and attach moral or ethical values are the ones with absolutely no intellect.
    My belief is that we are ready for sex the moment we hit puberty. That mostly coincides with the age of 13. The choice of partner again is individual. Some of us will choose a partner who is older or younger or of same age and with qualities and physical appearances that bring on that chemistry called attraction. Perfectly normal too.
    Please don’t let anyone or any article tell you or decide for you when it is okay or at what age it is okay or with whom you should and should not be having sex. This is a form of control and removal of your choice. That is illegal. NOT your instinct to have sex!
    So your readiness for sex is when you have reached puberty. It is your choice only and NOT anyone else’s business, not even the law, as to when and with whom you have sex.
    Just make sure there is no coercion or force, physical abuse, drugs or alcohol involved. You must also make sure you take precautions and are well protected against pregnancy or STDs.
    Sex is your birth right and yours. Have the courage to stand up for your rights and demand that no one will deny you your right.

  • Crazyforgabe

    I really want to f*ck my crush…

    • sharkisha chickenequa

      me too bro

  • Crazyforgabe

    It your body… Just be aware of the concecuenses

  • Lexi Grace

    I really want sex to no how it feels but I don’t wanna get pregnant

  • too_invested

    awkwardGal22, Plan B is NOT an abortion pill. Plan B (aka the day after pill) simply stops ovulation from occurring to prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg. Please learn about Plan B and what it does to pass on CORRECT information to others.