Do Guys Think You’re “Too Opinionated?”

I have a pretty big personality and a loud mouth, and I’ve never been shy about it. I was always one of the outspoken girls who was happy to debate and stand up for my beliefs. Some people aren’t like that, which is totally okay! There is absolutely nothing wrong with one or the other.

But people who talk openly about their opinions are often told that they’re “too opinionated” or too “on” about things. Can having strong opinions affect your friendships and your love life? That’s what you’re asking about on the message boards this week.

Let’s see what y’all had to say:

Cora-chan38 asked:
“Being single has never been something I despised about myself, however I’ve always wondered why guys didn’t find me ‘flirtable.’ After asking my friends, they pretty much told me ‘You have strong opinions,’ which I think is perfectly fine to have, and I personally enjoy casual debate and can laugh it off afterwards. Then I looked at other couples; the girlfriends (at least in my old school) typically had little to no opinions about anything that didn’t involve adorable domesticated animals and were as unaware about the world and politics as a media recluse and a tad dense. The guys where about the same. The idea to me that people don’t want a partner who has opinions on international politics, morals, religious interpretation, or even climate change surprises me. Are ‘smart people’ really a rarity among teenagers or are they just weak-spined in the head and don’t want to think about something that could confuse them?”

Fantasygirl425 said:
“I think there are a lot of smart teens, but they are usually not the popular ones. It’s okay to be opinionated. One of my teachers told me I was opinionated, but when I asked my friends they said I wasn’t. They have the same teacher, and they said that teacher is opinionated and he doesn’t want to be so when someone says something that he doesn’t agree with he would say they are opinionated even if they aren’t. He just doesn’t want other people to think he is opinionated.”

Fantasygirl425 said:
“Some people don’t want to get ‘involved’…and to me there is nothing wrong with that. Others do. I think you just need to find friends that are more involved in the world around them. I would not change your standards or core values that make you you.”

Fantasygirl425 said:
“Think about your audience here. Most people come here looking for the opinions of others, so a site like this is likely to attract relatively opinionated people. But I agree with your contention that people who seemingly have no opinions likewise seem to have nothing of substance to say about anything, which fails to stimulate my brain. I, for one, get off on substance. But that’s just my opinion.”

Fantasygirl425 said:
“There’s nothing wrong with having opinions and if guys don’t want a girl who enjoys a bit of debate and has opinions, then well, they’re not worth it. I am very opinionated and am especially passionate about subjects such as feminism, which tend to easily scare guys. So I know how you feel. Honestly, I’m so much happier just being myself and expressing my opinions. Being intelligent may not get you the guy in high school (which is kind of sad), but in the ‘real world’ you’ll find yourself with people just as opinionated as you and those relationships will be much more fulfilling.”

First things first, it’s never okay to look down on others for not being as opinionated or into politics and world issues or anything as you are. You don’t like other people looking down on you for being that way, and it’s not okay to look down on them for being the opposite. You should never judge someone else based on their interests, or anything, really.

That said, yeah, some people don’t like strong opinions and personalities. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you, but they might feel intimidated by you or like you’re pushing your opinions on them. That doesn’t mean you should stop sharing your opinions if you want, but it’s important to recognize that some people don’t share your opinions. And that’s completely okay! The world would be so boring if we all had the same opinions.

I think it’s important to find a group of people that share your interests. That way you can have stimulating conversations that mean something to you. Look for a club, extracurricular group or even right here on Gurl. I promise you’re not alone in your opinions!

As for worrying about what people think, so what? Don’t ever let someone make you feel invalid or less than just because they don’t have the same interests or opinions as you. And don’t make them feel that way either. If you’re comfortable in your opinions, that’s what really matters.
What do you think? Have you ever been called “too opinionated?” Tell us in the comments!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

You can reach this post’s author, Caitlin Corsetti, on Twitter and Instagram!

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  • ilovemusic

    I don’t really want a boyfriend but my friends think a boy likes me. I find that highly unlikely as im a shy, quiet girl that has an obsession with My Chemical Romance and Black Veil Brides. Pretty much any rock music. I have very strong opinions and i really wanna put this boy off because hes a popular and im considered an outcast. I never liked this boy any way he always says i may be quiet but i express opinions too much. I dont understand what i should do can someone PLEASE help me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 16Girl

    I can’t imagine how hard must be to not stand up for your opinion.
    We all have the right to think whatever we want and have convictions.
    I have never had issues with lack of opinion.
    Kids in my school never stay quiet. We are encourage to think since we are little and we discuss in every class of interesting topics: is religious irrational? What is ethic? Math was created or discovered? Is History the story of the winners or the losers? How is our world influence by brands?
    I know there are air head people around there, but I have never met someone so weak.
    If you need to stop thinking to fit, the people don’t worth it.
    Luckily, there are actually opinionated people in the world, so airs head guys don’t have to worry!