This week I am tackling some of your toughest virginity questions. Seriously, some of these questions had me stumped. This is such a diverse topic. You all are very interested in your v-cards.The questions ranged from pregnancy scares, to what does virginity mean and much more. I want to thank you guys for asking these questions and allowing Gurl.com to be on your virginity journey with you! I hope that my advice will help you guys out. So without further adieu, I give you this weeks topic: Virginity.
Am I Pregnant?!
So I lost my virginity about a week ago, and the day after I started to have these symptoms: I was gassy, my stomach was cramping very hard, I felt nauseated, I was bloated, and my nipples were changing. We had unprotected sex and I am very very scared. I looked it up and it said those could be signs that my period is coming. Any advice? Please help! – From Brittney
To answer both your questions: yes, you could be pregnant, and yes, those could also be signs of your period. Anytime you have unprotected sex, you have a chance of getting pregnant or catching an STD. You should never have unprotected sex unless you are willing to deal with the aftermath, which in some cases is a baby. The good news: you would not be showing symptoms of being pregnant the day after you had unprotected sex. It usually takes a missed period, or 4-6 weeks from conception to see signs of pregnancy. I would make an appointment with your doctor to get an early hormonal pregnancy test if the symptoms you are having persist and you have not gotten your period. Even if this was a scare, you should still go to your doctor and ask about the different forms of protection that are available. Let this fear be a lesson for your future sexual encounters. I hope everything works out for you.
His One And Only
I have been with someone for a few months, and I have never had a real boyfriend before, so I am completely new to all things sexual. We’ve decided to take all sexual stuff slow. Neither of us has had sex, but he has received oral. I just want to know if I am crazy to find this hard to deal with? If oral can be considered even more intimate than sex itself, and viewed as actually losing your virginity,(I’m on the fence if I think oral sex counts as losing your virginity). Am I really crazy to feel so confused over it? It really sucks that I’m not going to be his first everything, when he is my first everything. I’m just so… well, confused. Can anyone help me? – C.C.C
I do not think you are crazy for being upset about not being your boyfriend’s first everything. This emotion is known as jealously, and it’s okay if you have a little bit of it, because we all do at some point. You should not, however, let your boyfriend’s past hook ups loom over your current relationship. He is with you now, and the different sexual acts that you two do together should be your concern. Don’t get hung up on words like “first” and “everything.” If you not being his first everything is that big of deal to you, then you might not be emotionally ready to be in this relationship. Being someone’s first everything isn’t as important as being with them for the right reasons. Being conflicted on whether oral sex counts as losing your virginity or not is something only you can decide since everyone has a different definition. If you two are happy and have open communication when it comes to doing anything sexual, then I think you should stop worrying and just enjoy being with him.
I’m In Love… Are My Feelings Normal?
A week ago I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. We were “together” all through elementary school, then in middle school he moved and we got separated for 4 years. We’ve never stopped talking, and 5 months ago we got back together and are going stronger than ever. So here we are at 16, reunited & head over heels in love. I loved him before we decided to make love, but nothing like I do now. We’ve made love 3 times since last week, and every time was perfect, especially the last time. Ever since, I’ve felt emotionally attached to him. I’ve been so confused. Is it the same for him? We’ve talked a lot about it and before we had sex he said he wanted us to have this bond that would keep us together forever. (Sweetest thing he’s ever said.) Well, it definitely worked for me. I can’t get him off my mind and I feel so alone when I’m not with him. I feel like he’s a part of me. Is this normal? – Elizabeth
It is common to have deeper feelings for the person that you lost your virginity to, but I want to point out that not everyone does. I don’t want to downplay your feelings at all. If you’re happy and this relationship is as good as it sounds then – congrats girl! You’re one of the lucky ones that gets to experience love at a young age. You have all these feelings, and they only increase when you throw sex into the mix. Is this a great, fun, exciting time for you? Sure! Be as happy as you want. But don’t mistake sex for love and don’t let sex, love or your relationship be all that is important to you. Just make sure you don’t lose yourself and can be your own person outside of your relationship!
What Counts As Losing Your Virginity?
Does it count as losing your virginity if its guy on guy or girl on girl? Doesn’t losing your virginity entail having a penis in a vagina? If you’ve haven’t had sex with the opposite gender does that mean your still a virgin? – Maxine
Wow! Your virginity questions have stumped me a little, but I like a challenge… Let me start by saying that your virginity is all about you. Not your partner, your parents or your friends. Trying to define the word virginity is like trying to keep Justin Bieber out of the media… It simply cannot happen. Virginity is a concept that has different meanings to different people. The range of what can be considered a virgin spans the spectrum of everything from kissing, to oral sex, to vaginal sex, to anal sex and everything in-between. The real question is, what are you comfortable doing with another person? Don’t get caught up in trying to define what a virgin is because your opinion is the only one that matters.
Please help me! I’m 18 and I lost my virginity last week. And now I’m thinking that I’m pregnant. We used a condom, but I just feel that I had sex at the wrong age. Please help me I don’t know what to do! – Ntoshka
Let’s take a breath and calm down. First, kudos for using a condom! Really, you should be proud for protecting yourself for your first time. Let’s get the easy thing out of the way: wait for your period to come. If it is on time and normal than you are probably not pregnant. I would make an appointment to see a gynecologist. You can talk to your doctor about the different forms of birth control other than condoms to see if any of them will work for you. Now, let’s tackle your sex remorse. If you are thinking that you were too young to have sex, then you probably were. Even though you are 18 and an adult by legal standards, this doesn’t mean that you were ready to have sex. If you are not comfortable with your decisions, talk to someone who you trust about it. You should hold off on having sex again until you get your feelings under control. The panic will only go away once you have come to terms with your decisions and how you will move forward in the future. Good luck!
Did these answers help any of you? Do you have more virginity questions that you want answered? Let me know in the comments below!