Okay, let’s face it: We’re all a little confused about masturbation when we first start venturing into it, right? Some of us are confused about how to do it while others feel guilty about doing it at all…or they’re afraid that they’ll go to hell. Usually the last two are coupled but the point is that the grand adventure that is self-pleasure can be a bit nerve wracking, especially when its surrounded in BS myths. We get it, and we’re all about answering any and all questions you–our awesome readers–have about the subject.
However, even the most clueless among us knows that some questions about masturbation are straight up ridiculous and nonsensical. That’s where Yahoo Answers comes in, because that site is full of the strangest, most ridiculous questions on earth. This includes questions about, you guessed it, masturbation. Don’t waste your time combing through the site for wacky masturbation questions because we’ve done the work for you! Check out these 12 Yahoo Answers questions about masturbation that will either make you feel amused, concerned, or both.
1) Only Zayn.
Harry on an off day.
2) You should probably avoid putting anything expired near your body…especially ear your bits.
(Also, don’t masturbate with Vaseline…please)
First of all, how does one cuddle oneself? Also, can we talk about how masturbating makes you go blind is apparently the truth but cuddling with oneself after is a myth. Er…
4) Asking the important questions.
Because flies are more vital to the ecosystem. Duh.
5) I know what I’m asking my eye doctor at my next appointment.
6) Only if it’s Justin Bieber.
Just in case, don’t do it to “Baby Got Back.”
7) Please, just use lube.
But who else is suddenly hearing the chorus of “Talk Dirty” by Jason Derulo though?”
Just eat it instead?
9) Most of us should have been dead a long time ago.
Short answer: No. Long answer: Your mom lied to you.
10) Uh oh.
Aren’t angels already dead?
11) This is definitely…unique.
But that’s none of my business. *Sips tea*
12) What’s masturbation without a few ghosts?
And the award for the most amazing response goes to…
Which you think was the most ridiculous of all of these questions? What’s the most ridiculous masturbation myth you’ve ever heard? Is there one that you used to believe? Tell us in the comments!