Oh, Gary the Snail, where do I start? Gary is a snail who acts like a cat because… I don’t know why. He’s Spongebob’s pet and sidekick, and he is awesome. Gary can’t really talk, except for one episode when Spongebob has a dream that Gary is actually a genius and could speak English and read. That was weird.
Anyway, Gary was my favorite Spongebob character. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like Gary, and although he could only meow, we learned some valuable advice from him.
Click through for some sex, hookup and dating tips from Gary the Snail!