It’s no secret that sex education classes typically aren’t the best places to learn what you really need to know about sex. I took my sex ed class in a Catholic middle school, where we were taught that sex before marriage was wrong, and that masturbation could send us to hell. It was terrible. In fact, I don’t think I know anyone who has had a really positive sex ed experience.
That’s really sad! Sex is a huge part of life, and sex education is incredibly important. Do you have any idea how many sex questions we get from you guys every day about the most basic things that everyone should know? I’m not saying it’s your fault that you don’t know these things – it’s because a great sex ed course is really hard to come by. If we don’t have good sex education, how can we expect people to know how to prevent pregnancy or avoid STDs?
I feel pretty strongly about this subject, so obviously I loved this Ask Reddit thread that I saw today. It’s about things we wish we learned in sex ed. Any questions you might have about sexy times might just be answered right now. Here are 15 things that should be taught in sex ed:
The Real Deal About Your Hymenitsbecca: The true nature of the hymen! I always thought the hymen was like the leather of a drum, stretched across the vagina, and broke for once and always once you had sex for the first time. Now that I know it's actually a membrane that does have a hole in it and can be stretched with fingers (meaning A) Your first time with sex doesn't have to me nightmarishly painful and B) Leaving things alone for awhile will essentially make you a "virgin" again.) I feel like my mind is opened and there's a measure of relief from weird lingering christian guilt too. I imagine the misunderstanding was pushed with a religious/conservative motivation and it makes me a little sick to think about. SO many people are misinformed about the hymen, which is really unfortunate. Here's some info, but it would be nice if this could be taught in sex ed. Source: ShutterStock
That Labias Are All Differentbuttuglyhottie: That different sizes and shapes of labia were just as normal as different sizes and shapes of penises. I know for sure I'm not the only woman who thought she was a freak because her labia was longer and different than the porn I started seeing as I grew up. We constantly get questions about whether or not Source: ShutterStock
That You Need To Pee After Sexrandomname89: That you need to pee after sex. So many painful UTIs could be avoided if this information was passed on in school. I definitely did not learn this in sex ed, and it definitely took a long time for me to figure it out. If teachers taught us to pee after having sex, I bet there would be a lot less painful urinary tract infections< happening. Source: ShutterStock
How To Say NoFishcake91: How to say no. I'm not talking about abstinence or anything, but just getting it into girls and boys heads that they can say no if they don't feel comfortable doing something. Too many times I hear about a girl saying she didn't want to kiss a guy but she felt bad, or she didn't really want to go on a date with someone but she also didn't want to say no because she didn't want to seem like a rude, bad person. ITS OKAY TO SAY NO. Yes! I love this. It's okay to say no, and you don't need a reason or excuse.
Info On Female OrgasmsLindyBadger: That sex isn't hard d*** + ejaculation. Because women also get more blood flow. Female orgasms are a thing. It would be nice to have learned about the things a woman's body does during arousal. Many schools don't focus on what happens when women orgasm. Why? Because female orgasms are still seen as taboo. This contributes to our slut shaming culture. Source: ShutterStock
That You CAN Get Pimples Down ThereHezzann: That, yes you will get pimples/blackheads/whiteheads/bumps down there, and no, it isn't always an STD. We get at least one question a day about pimples/bumps down there. I understand - if you don't know it can happen, it's terrifying to see it. If we were taught that it's completely normal, it would result in a lot less stress. Source: ShutterStock
STDs Don't Just Happen After Penetrationlittlestray: That you can get STDs from things other than PIV sex. When you're trying to push abstinence you've gotta let kids know that when you're trying to loophole other means of sex that it only protects you from babies, not diseases. Or just don't teach abstinence at all. But still, the only way many schools teach about STDs is to show gross STD pictures in an effort to scare kids. But how about teaching more actual information, like that you can get STDs from oral sex? Source: ShutterStock
More Info On The Clitoris and Female AnatomyNot_keeping_this: Where the clitoris is and what it is for. Female orgasms were never mentioned. Not once. I saw a close up video of childbirth and pictures of STDs but never knew that any parts of a woman's genital area were important or useful other than the "hole". For some reason, "clitoris" is a very taboo word. No one wants to discuss it. I have no idea why. But everyone should be getting more info on it.
More Birth Control Optionsbootyfish: birth control. My sex ed in middle school briefly touched on birth control (basically the gist was condoms break and birth control doesn't work if you make a mistake), but there are loads of birth control options and a lot of them have distinct health benefits. Even at a 13/14 people should know what their birth control options are. My high school sex ed was better about portraying birth control realistically, but they didn't go deep into the various types and how they work. Definitely agree. There are so many birth control options out there, but many people don't know about them because we're all mainly taught about condoms and the pill. Those are great options, but the Pill doesn't work for everyone. Girls should have more info! Source: ShutterStock
That Boobs Hurt When They GrowDr_Julian_Helisent: That it can hurt when your boobs start to grow. For a few months when I was 9/10, I was convinced that I had a serious heart condition and that my mom was a heartless monster for ignoring it. Things would have been so much easier if I'd known from the start that I was just getting boobs. I never learned this either, and that information definitely would have been helpful. Source: ShutterStock
That It's Okay To Masturbateivoryebonies: That masturbation isn't a horrible, shameful act. I know that religious schools teach students that masturbation is evil. And many, many girls don't get an education on female masturbation, which is still very taboo in our society. It's ridiculous. Girls should be told that it's okay to masturbate! Source: ShutterStock
What Rape Really IsHell_Harlequin: Teach the definition of rape because a large amount of people are confused as to what rape is defined as. If you know what rape actually is, it seems crazy that there are people in this world who still don't get it. But unfortunately, there are. Students absolutely need to learn more about rape. Source: ShutterStock
That Sex Is MessyAnniesBoobs1: I'm super surprised no one has said anything about how messy sex is. I thought something was wrong with me and that I'd never be able to get pregnant because of the mess afterwards for like two years. Big relief when I finally got the courage to ask the doctor what that was about. Most schools don't teach anything about actually having sex because they don't want to encourage students to do it. But this isn't helpful! Students will do it anyway, and then they'll just be confused. Source: ShutterStock
More Info On Dischargecactuscat: I wish they'd taught us about discharge, what it was, why it was, how it changes. I'd been having and worrying about it for a few years before I accidentally came across something that educated me. We get questions all the time about discharge - what it means, what it should look like, what you should do about it. It's something girls need to learn in school. This is part of their body! Source: ShutterStock
Anything Besides AbstinenceShellLillian: Pretty much everything. About 75% of our sex ed class was us reading a list of excuses to not have sex. Not wanting to wasn't even on there. It's been proven that abstinence only "sex ed" classes don't work. People are going to have sex whether they're told not to or not, and pretending otherwise is ignorant and ridiculous. It's so much more beneficial for students to learn about safe sex than it is for them to learn not to have it.
How was your sex education experience? What did you wish you had learned? What did you never learn? Tell me in the comments!