When you’re a virgin past the age in which it’s weird to be a virgin, people are straight up fascinated. They’ll wonder if you have ridiculously picky standards, if you’re saving yourself for marriage or if there’s something wrong with you. Upon watching MTV’s new show, Virgin Territory, the same assumptions are made about its cast of young adults aged 18 to 23 who haven’t lost their v-cards yet.
As of the first episode, it seems as if only one of the four cast members highlighted thus far in the show hasn’t used God, divorced parents or the fact that STDs exist as justification for not having sex yet. 19-year-old Mikaela admits to just not getting around to it yet because she just hasn’t gotten around to finding a dude she wants to do it with yet.
As a virgin, that’s the scenario that I’m most familiar with, but it’s one that rarely seems to represent many people who are virgins past their high school years. Or is that just the media’s limited perception? Well, I’m not going around surveying every fellow 23-year-old virgins out there, so I don’t know. But I do know that it’s definitely not very relatable, personally, to see a 20-something-year-old complain about not being a virgin when they don’t even believe in sex before marriage.
For example, one of the cast members–22-year-old Dominique–wants to wait until a guy “puts a ring on it” before she has sex because she doesn’t want to get too emotionally attached to just any ol’ person she has sex with. Fair enough, but the fact that her attempt to get rid of her v-card is essentially a hunt to find a husband makes it seem as if there’s no gray area between a regretful, sloppy hookup with a random person and having beautiful, perfect sex with the man you married. Abstaining from sex is their personal decision. What about those of us who aren’t waiting for some divine messenger to give us the okay to get busy? What about those of us who aren’t exactly looking for our one true love to lose it to but instead are hoping to find someone who we get along well with who wants to get naked and touch genitals?
Also, while this might be a result of TV drama, it’s so strange to me that so many of these virgins’ friends are so caught up in the fact that their friend is, well, a virgin. My friends know that I’m a virgin and they’re there for me if I need advice. But they’re not teasing me about it or declaring that I’m too picky because I haven’t had a penis in my vagina before. Part of me wants to tell these virgins on the show to get better friends who don’t try to goad them on with an edible thong and lubricant gift… like Mikaela’s friend did despite Mikaela’s obvious discomfort. Yikes. Just back off, would you?
Nevertheless, there were a couple of pleasant surprises in the show. A 20-year-old hunky type by the name of Kyle reluctantly admits to never touching a vagina, which just goes to show that there really is no way to tell that someone is a virgin just by looking at them. People we assume are total babe magnets really can be just as weirdly inept at this whole sex thing as the rest of us.
Also, the show followed a 23-year-old named Lisa, a devout Christian who was just days from her wedding. After she finally loses her v-card on her wedding night, her reaction is beyond underwhelming. She doesn’t look any different, act any different or seem to feel any different aside from some general soreness. Her reaction just emphasizes how much those of us–v-cards in tact or otherwise–make virginity into the big, massive thing that it really isn’t. Yes, I want to have sex, but I’m not deluded enough to think that I’m going to be a brand new Ashley after the deed is done. After all, what makes you you doesn’t exist between your legs.
While I’m skeptical of how Virgin Territory‘s future episodes will turn out, I’m hoping that the show shows a wider variety of virgins. There are plenty of us out there who don’t mind losing it before getting married and it’s time for people to realize that we’re not the weirdos they might think we are.
Did you watch Virgin Territory? What were your thoughts? If you’re a virgin on purpose, what are your reasons for keeping your v-card in tact? If you’re a virgin who is willing to lose your v-card, what is your biggest challenge? Tell us in the comments!