Rejecting Someone Does Not Make You A Bitch

For whatever reason, many men think they’re entitled to a woman’s affection, whether she agrees or not. Such was the case with Eliot Rodger who went on a murderous rampage because he hated women for not having sex with him. He felt rejected by women, and thus it was the fault of all women. In this guy’s mind, women were the enemy. This misogynistic mentality isn’t new, and even after that horrific massacre, it hasn’t really changed.

This past Sunday, Italian cyclist Vincenzo Nibali won Stage Two of the Tour de France. While accepting the yellow jersey, he leaned in to kiss one of the podium women. She turned her head because, well, she did not want to kiss him.

But people (read: misogynists) are freaking out because HOW DARE SHE?! The Bleacher Report’s headline says, “Vincenzo Nibali Is Denied a Victory Kiss.” Denied. No, he wasn’t DENIED. He was simply told “No.”

BroBible’s Kyle Koster explained:

“Let’s not lose sight of what’s really important here: this woman is a jerk. Nibali wasn’t going in for some tongue-on-tongue action. He was going in for a European double cheek peck…Sure, Nibali probably smelled a little sour after the demanding ride, but that’s no reason to humiliate him.”

Let’s not lose sight of what we’re assuming here: we don’t know that he was going in for a European double cheek peck. Not kissing someone when that kiss is unwanted isn’t humiliation. It’s just someone not wanting to kiss someone else. Sure, rejection hurts, but that’s no reason to claim that you deserve someone’s affection.

The DailyDot cited some YouTube comments from the original video (which has since been removed) that said everything from “What a bitch lol” to much more vulgar statements.

This kind of response to this type of situation really irks me. Was it awkward for this cyclist because he was on television when this happened? Yeah, probably. Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is left hanging for almost every high five he tries to give on the sideline, and no one calls the other players jerks or bitches for rejecting him.

Rejecting someone does not make you a bitch. If you do not like someone, rejecting them is the appropriate thing to do. Leading them on and then revealing you don’t like them is a little shady because you shouldn’t lead people on. But if someone is making an unwanted move on you, you have every right to say no. You do not owe anyone anything. No one automatically deserves your attention.

This woman is being dragged through the mud because she didn’t want to kiss a man who she didn’t know on television. I say he’s the jerk for trying to kiss her and assuming she would accept. But if someone wants to call you a bitch or jerk for rejecting unwanted moves, fine. Then I’m a huge bitch for asserting my right to say no.
What do you think about this situation? Should this woman have accepted the kiss? Do you think someone is wrong to reject someone else? Tell us in the comments!

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  • ashia

    Haha i don’t think she was a bitch.She dissed him,but people diss high-fives,hugs,handshakes,etc all the time.To me it means that she wasn’t feeling it. She also doesn’t feel obligated to live up to what the general population expects from people. It’s kinda like burping then not saying excuse me,it is kind of rude,but depending on who your around they don’t think saying “excuse me” is then it’s not rude.

  • Ruth

    While I definitely agree that the woman in question is not deserving of any of the vitriol sent her way I must disagree with calling Nibali a jerk for “trying to kiss her and assuming she would accept”. One of the many traditions of the Tour de France is that person receiving a jersey gives both of the women on the podium a kiss on the cheek. He isn’t doing it because he is trying to make a move on her.

    • JW

      If she didn’t want to accept any kind of victory kiss as is tradition, than she shouldn’t have been there. It’s part of her JOB to stand there, look good, take the kiss and smile. She was likely fired for that and she absolutely deserved it. Embarrassing the circuit’s big earners should cost you your job, man or woman.

      A man who is rejected by a single woman needs to not insult her, not make a scene or get vindictive, just simply don’t speak to her again and get on with your own business. Women are generally rubbish at initiating conversations with men and almost never try it. So that will rightly bring about the end of your association with the woman who rejected your genetics. This is the healthiest way for a man to do it because there is no clinging on and punishing yourself by longing for someone who took a look at you and thought you were too ugly, or poor, or uninteresting.
      Doing so only leads to resentment, which neither party deserves, neither to carry or receive.

  • raspberry_fizz

    I have been called a bitch for reject a “nice-guy” that is in my year at school too many times to count. Everybody slated me and told me to give him a chance but they didn’t know that he was actually a really clingy guy that wanted to talk to me, be with me and know where I was, who I was with and what I was doing ALL THE TIME. I asked him to give me space and made my point really clear that I was not interested in him whatsoever, but he continued to pursue me, even when I started going out with my boyfriend. He even went as far as to spread awful rumors about my boyfriend and I and to constantly say mean things about us, both to our faces and behind our backs. I firmly told him to back off and leave me alone or I would report him to the school for harassment. He still continued.
    It got to the point where he wouldn’t give up and I was actually beginning to feel violated when he spread all these rumors about me when I decided to cut him out of my life altogether. Basically I pretended he didn’t exist and totally ignored him when he spoke to me or about me. I blocked him from my social media and got my phone network to block his number.
    I was dragged through the dirt for doing these things because everyone felt sorry for him and he was always such a “nice-guy”. When a so-called friend of mine said this to me, I suggested that she ask him out on a date and she was really quick to say “Oh no, definitely not.” I totally understand what this women is going through and I make a point now to call out everyone who dares call me a bitch for rejecting a guy.