Masturbation! If we could put that word in bright, shiny lights, we would, because we think it’s great. Masturbation is just another step on that giant staircase we’d like to call self-discovery. Just like knowing exactly what kind of music you need to listen to after a bad day, or knowing if you like sandwiches with or without the crust, knowing how to turn yourself on is just one of those things that we figure out some way or another.
But unlike sandwich crust and blasting Robyn when you’re down, female masturbation has such an unfair taboo attached to it. Trust us, that’s BS! Masturbation is totally normal and, once you get the hang of it, it’s totally fun. Whether you’re a bit of an expert or you’re curious about starting, here’s everything you need to know about masturbation.
Simply put, masturbation is the act of pleasuring yourself by touching your genitals. Most female-bodied folks stick to stimulating their vaginal region, especially the clitoris, vulva, labia and vagina, but the breasts and bottom definitely isn’t off limits. It’s not uncommon for us to start masturbating before we even know what masturbation is; kids and even babies learn that fooling around down there feels good. But this act definitely takes on a new meaning–and new pleasure principle–when we reach puberty and beyond. At that point, masturbation becomes more than just fiddling around with parts that feel nice to fiddle: The goal is to try to have an orgasm.
But what exactly is an orgasm?
Orgasms are magic. But to be more specific, it occurs in two stages. First, you’re turned on, which build up a ton of muscle tension. Second, you become so turned on that all that built up tension releases, releasing a flood of hormones. These sensations center around your genitals and, frankly, feels amazing. Orgasms are hard to explain, but when you’ve had one, you know you’ve had one.
Okay, so how do you masturbate?
Most girls and women use their hands to get the job done, but sex toys like vibrators are another fun option. Just make sure that your hands and any and all devices you use are clean (and safe) before you get to work! You might notice yourself getting wet, which is totally normal. It’s just the ol’ vag lubricating itself. If you find it difficult to get wet, consider using a water-based lubricant to help yourself out. Being wet might make masturbation feel a little more comfortable, but it’s possible to have an orgasm without it.
Some folks feel more comfortable doing it when they have some alone time so that they can masturbate at their own pace. Feel free to listen to music, read or watch something that turns you on or just do it in silence. There’s no right or wrong way to get the job done. Some women like to do it under the covers of a bed, some like to do it with the help of their shower head. You do you! Just take your time, be patient, and let your imagination wander until you reach your climax.
Is it morally wrong to masturbate?
That’s up to you and your own personal belief system. But honestly, masturbation is just a form of self pleasure. There is nothing in the Bible that says that it’s wrong to touch your neither regions. There’s nothing in the law that says you can’t do it, either. If someone is telling you that it’s wrong to masturbate, it’s worth investigating why one would think such a thing. It isn’t hurting anyone and it doesn’t make you a bad person, so masturbate at your own discretion.
Is it slutty to masturbate?
No, and it’s time to take that word out of your vocabulary!
Isn’t masturbation more of a guy thing?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: Hell no.
Listen, there are several reasons why masturbation and having any and all sexual autonomy is thought of as a “guy thing.” We’ve been socialized to believe that men are inherently more sexual, so when women are outwardly sexual, we shame them and call them “sluts.” We’ve been socialized to believe that sexual autonomy is a guy thing, while women are merely the receivers of sex. We’ve been socialized to believe that sex for men is about pleasure, and for women it is merely for function, like having babies and starting families. If you are inclined to believe that any of this is true, it’s time to unlearn the BS. Masturbation is not a guy thing, it’s an everyone thing. Just because you might not hear your girlfriends talking about it, doesn’t mean they don’t do it. Studies have shown that up to 80 percent of women have masturbated, so don’t go around thinking you’re a weird pervert for getting off, girl!
Are there any benefits to masturbating?
Besides amazing pleasure? Actually, yes, there are! Do you have awful cramps around that time of the month? Masturbation can help ease them. Having trouble getting to sleep? Masturbating can help ease you into a comfortable night’s rest. Stressed? Masturbating can help take a load off (hehe). Also, masturbation can help build up a resistance to yeast infections, a common problem that none of us want to deal with. Masturbating is a super power, basically.
Can I masturbate during my period?
You sure can. And like we said before, masturbating during your period is a great way to relieve cramps!
Okay, but will I go blind?
Of course not, or else nearly everyone on the planet would be blind right now. You also won’t get struck by lightning, develop hairy palms or anything else ridiculous. Masturbation myths are just that, myths! Don’t believe them.
Can people tell if I masturbate?
Just by looking at you? Nope! Even if they looked at your privates, the only way someone can know that you masturbate is if you straight up say, “Hey, you, I masturbate!” and run away. However, you probably aren’t too inclined to do that, right? Didn’t think so.
Will it be harder to orgasm from sex if I masturbate?
Honestly, knowing what allows you to have a proper orgasm will help lead to more pleasurable sex because you’ll know what turns you on. Masturbating isn’t going to put a damper on your sex life, don’t worry.
What if I haven’t been able to have an orgasm from masturbation?
Don’t lose hope! Are you too stressed out about getting caught? Are you aiming for vaginal penetration instead of clitoral stimulation? Are you expecting to have an orgasm within a two minute time-span and find yourself disappointed? All of these things and more can contribute to a lack of orgasms. Try to find new ways of getting turned on, envision different fantasies, get comfy in a different position, etc. Masturbation is about exploration, so don’t be afraid to explore!
What are your feelings about masturbation? Do you have any other questions we didn’t address? Tell me in the comments.
If you have more questions about masturbation, check out our 25 best posts about masturbation!