Everything You Need To Know About Masturbation

Everything you need to know about masturbation. | Photo source: The To Do List/CBS Films

Everything you need to know about masturbation. | Photo source: The To Do List/CBS Films

Masturbation! If we could put that word in bright, shiny lights, we would, because we think it’s great. Masturbation is just another step on that giant staircase we’d like to call self-discovery. Just like knowing exactly what kind of music you need to listen to after a bad day, or knowing if you like sandwiches with or without the crust, knowing how to turn yourself on is just one of those things that we figure out some way or another.

But unlike sandwich crust and blasting Robyn when you’re down, female masturbation has such an unfair taboo attached to it. Trust us, that’s BS! Masturbation is totally normal and, once you get the hang of it, it’s totally fun. Whether you’re a bit of an expert or you’re curious about starting, here’s everything you need to know about masturbation.


What’s masturbation?

Simply put, masturbation is the act of pleasuring yourself by touching your genitals. Most female-bodied folks stick to stimulating their vaginal region, especially the clitoris, vulva, labia and vagina, but the breasts and bottom definitely isn’t off limits.  It’s not uncommon for us to start masturbating before we even know what masturbation is; kids and even babies learn that fooling around down there feels good. But this act definitely takes on a new meaning–and new pleasure principle–when we reach puberty and beyond.  At that point, masturbation becomes more than just fiddling around with parts that feel nice to fiddle: The goal is to try to have an orgasm.

But what exactly is an orgasm?

Orgasms are magic. But to be more specific, it occurs in two stages. First, you’re turned on, which build up a ton of muscle tension. Second, you become so turned on that all that built up tension releases, releasing a flood of hormones. These sensations center around your genitals and, frankly, feels amazing. Orgasms are hard to explain, but when you’ve had one, you know you’ve had one.

Okay, so how do you masturbate?

Most girls and women use their hands to get the job done, but sex toys like vibrators are another fun option. Just make sure that your hands and any and all devices you use are clean (and safe) before you get to work! You might notice yourself getting wet, which is totally normal. It’s just the ol’ vag lubricating itself. If you find it difficult to get wet, consider using a water-based lubricant to help yourself out. Being wet might make masturbation feel a little more comfortable, but it’s possible to have an orgasm without it.

Some folks feel more comfortable doing it when they have some alone time so that they can masturbate at their own pace. Feel free to listen to music, read or watch something that turns you on or just do it in silence. There’s no right or wrong way to get the job done. Some women like to do it under the covers of a bed, some like to do it with the help of their shower head. You do you! Just take your time, be patient, and let your imagination wander until you reach your climax.

Is it morally wrong to masturbate?

That’s up to you and your own personal belief system. But honestly, masturbation is just a form of self pleasure. There is nothing in the Bible that says that it’s wrong to touch your neither regions. There’s nothing in the law that says you can’t do it, either. If someone is telling you that it’s wrong to masturbate, it’s worth investigating why one would think such a thing. It isn’t hurting anyone and it doesn’t make you a bad person, so masturbate at your own discretion.

Is it slutty to masturbate?

No, and it’s time to take that word out of your vocabulary!

Isn’t masturbation more of a guy thing?

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Hell no.

joseline sigh smdh

Listen, there are several reasons why masturbation and having any and all sexual autonomy is thought of as a “guy thing.” We’ve been socialized to believe that men are inherently more sexual, so when women are outwardly sexual, we shame them and call them “sluts.” We’ve been socialized to believe that sexual autonomy is a guy thing, while women are merely the receivers of sex. We’ve been socialized to believe that sex for men is about pleasure, and for women it is merely for function, like having babies and starting families. If you are inclined to believe that any of this is true, it’s time to unlearn the BS. Masturbation is not a guy thing, it’s an everyone thing. Just because you might not hear your girlfriends talking about it, doesn’t mean they don’t do it. Studies have shown that up to 80 percent of women have masturbated, so don’t go around thinking you’re a weird pervert for getting off, girl!

Are there any benefits to masturbating?

Besides amazing pleasure? Actually, yes, there are! Do you have awful cramps around that time of the month? Masturbation can help ease them. Having trouble getting to sleep? Masturbating can help ease you into a comfortable night’s rest. Stressed? Masturbating can help take a load off (hehe). Also, masturbation can help build up a resistance to yeast infections, a common problem that none of us want to deal with. Masturbating is a super power, basically.

Can I masturbate during my period?

mega period my mad fat diary

You sure can. And like we said before, masturbating during your period is a great way to relieve cramps!

Okay, but will I go blind?

Of course not, or else nearly everyone on the planet would be blind right now. You also won’t get struck by lightning, develop hairy palms or anything else ridiculous. Masturbation myths are just that, myths! Don’t believe them.

Can people tell if I masturbate?

Just by looking at you? Nope! Even if they looked at your privates, the only way someone can know that you masturbate is if you straight up say, “Hey, you, I masturbate!” and run away. However, you probably aren’t too inclined to do that, right? Didn’t think so.

Will it be harder to orgasm from sex if I masturbate?

Honestly, knowing what allows you to have a proper orgasm will help lead to more pleasurable sex because you’ll know what turns you on. Masturbating isn’t going to put a damper on your sex life, don’t worry.

What if I haven’t been able to have an orgasm from masturbation?

Don’t lose hope! Are you too stressed out about getting caught? Are you aiming for vaginal penetration instead of clitoral stimulation? Are you expecting to have an orgasm within a two minute time-span and find yourself disappointed? All of these things and more can contribute to a lack of orgasms. Try to find new ways of getting turned on, envision different fantasies, get comfy in a different position, etc. Masturbation is about exploration, so don’t be afraid to explore!

What are your feelings about masturbation? Do you have any other questions we didn’t address? Tell me in the comments.


If you have more questions about masturbation, check out our 25 best posts about masturbation!

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Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships
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  • raindrop

    What about the lesbian community?

  • raindrop

    Yeah, the hymen isn’t actually like a seal as much as it’s a ring around the vaginal opening that can be torn from activities like sex or sports but it doesn’t always. Here’s a link to to the NHS website:

  • Ximmie

    I have a question about masturbating ….it seems like no matter what I try I can’t have an orgasm and it makes me scared . Certain things and ways i touch myself feel good but once I get down “there” it’s wet but nothing feels right . The only time i think I’ve had an orgasm was when I crossed my legs together and held them there while watching porn . Is there something wrong with me ?

  • nikki

    And also I have a question that I think would be considered bad to do……. the question is: Is it bad to have the best time of your life (other than masturbating) In the woods with a guy your family hates but you love Soo much with him kissing you and you kissing him and being in true love?

  • nikki

    Also masturbating makes your hands warm if they are cold

  • Jgirl97

    Growing up in a family that doesn’t believe in teaching their children about any form of sex, I learned about masturbation myself. Tbh, I’ve never seen it as a bad thing, only as a natural act. It’s nice knowing that I’m not the only one to feel this way.

  • vstar gurl

    You only loose your virginity when penatrated and your hymen breaks. Doesnt have to be a penis. Just have to break the hymen and then your cherry has been popped.

    • Jessica Booth

      That’s not true. Your hymen breaking has absolutely nothing to do with loss of virginity.

  • ewil96

    I am able to orgasm when i masturbate but i don’t seem able to orgasm while having sex.. i mean, am i being impatient? (i’ve only had sex 4 times so far with my friend.. (ok, fwb)) does my body need to get used to sex or is he just bad with me? haha

  • ashley

    is it normal to be turned on by watching pelvic examinations?

    • K

      IDK about normal but you’re not the only one 😉

  • Lola

    Are you still a virgin if you masterbate?

    • Fredbear3143

      Yes. In the true sense of the word “Virgin” it literally means having sexual intercourse with another human being.

    • Karen

      To me you have your sexual debut (I don’t like calling it “losing your virginity” because you don’t lose anything, you win an experience) you get naked and intimate with other person. To some is penis-in-vagina sex, to others oral sex; depends on your beliefs.

      In sum, to me, masturbating isn’t the same as a sexual debut with another human. Masturbation is enjoying yourself

    • drew

      There are many opinions about what “virginity” means and what circumstances lead you to lose your virginity. Really they are all just opinions, some people believe that oral sex is a loss of your v-card, others believe that only true sex can mean you lose your virginity. In my opinion masturbation definitely does NOT mean you are not a virgin anymore. I think that it simply means you’ve masterbated. that is also the common belief, that masturbation does NOT = virginity loss. Hope this helped!

    • Lyme


    • Aprilmai

      No you only lose your virginity when you are penetrated by a penis

  • virgo96

    I feel that this was very helpful 🙂 many of the questions I had have been answered! I use to think that its dirty for a girl to masturbate because I was always told that anything to do with sex is bad and that it is dirty. I think that it is empowering because females can make their ownselves feel good without the help of a male.. though that isnt bad if they help either 🙂