Ask A Guy: How Can I Make My Boyfriend Forget About His Ex-Girlfriend?

Dear Ethan,

How can I make my boyfriend forget his ex girlfriend? In other words, he has been heartbroken about their breakup. I need tips on how to help him get through the healing process.

The fact that you’re so concerned about a guy’s heartbreak over another girl says a lot about how caring and sweet of a person you are. But let’s be honest here: helping someone you call your boyfriend ain’t easy when his problem happens to be another lady. If you’re feeling a bit slighted, you have every right to – no one wants to play second fiddle to another romantic interest. And, to be honest, the fact that he needs to “heal” at all doesn’t bode well for his ability to commit to another relationship (yours). A guy who’s heartbroken over someone else is going to need time alone to process whatever happened and move on emotionally.

This may be hard to hear, but I think you need to let him go. There’s no way he can give you the relationship that you deserve if he’s hung up on another girl. He can’t be a proper boyfriend right now, and there’s nothing you can do as his girlfriend to fix that. Not only is it not your duty to distract your boyfriend from the past, but the likelihood of him suddenly coming around if he hasn’t already isn’t very high. There’s a much better chance that you’ll just end up getting hurt.

See, even if he’s a guy worth keeping around, and you truly believe there’s something between the two of you worth fighting for, my advice would still be to give him space. You could be there for him as a friend and support him as much as possible, but that’s easier said than done when you’re harboring romantic feelings for a person. You might end up slipping into a “friends with benefits” situation, or just establish a purely platonic relationship — neither of which will give you what you ultimately want.

So if you can bear being his friend, more power to you — that’s very noble. But for both of your sake’s, I would ultimately advise you to give him the space he needs, and take some time apart. Maybe you guys truly are a great match – in which case, you’ll be able to pick things up again once he’s had time to heal.

Good luck!

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. Ethan also gives weekly advice in the video series “Dude Seriously?”. Follow Ethan on Twitter!


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  • Destiny Tucker

    Umm ok my first time doing this so bear with me I dated thus guy for less then a week and he broke up with me today cause I was joking around acting mad and thought I was really mad so now we arent together he is trying to get over his ex and I most defiantly understand that but I love him sooo much i wanna be with no matter what it takes but he says lets just be friends I just cant get over me loving him can anyone give me advice on how to handle this cause I love him I really do and I cant let it end like this please

  • kezia

    well maybe ua rite I should gave hm some space

  • thanks

    Great article. Very, very true

  • Ntettie

    Hai I have a problem my husband is running away when is that time of the months,he not supporting me.He says the church does not allow them to be near while I’m menstruation.

  • Lexi Garcia

    Should a girl worry if her boyfriend is texting his ex girlfriend on Facebook ?

    • Michelle garza

      Yes u should they could be hiding stuff from you and lie and really say that they are not but they say that u can trust them but when a different person say “they didn’t show u the pics” than u have a bad feeling that they are hiding stuff because they tell u just plz ignore them plz plz even if u tell him u know them and now that could mean he lied and is not that good of a bf and u can barley trust him!!!!!!