10 Things You Should Never Say To Black Girls About Their Hair

I love my friends dearly. Really, I do. But even some of my closest friends have said some seriously stupid, ignorant things about black hair. I know, I know, they mean well. They’re just confused about some things, curious about others.  But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to roll my eyes whenever someone comments on how “poofy” my hair is after it gets wet.

Listen, summer is coming up and all my fellow black girls know that that means it’s an important time for our hair; whether it’s rocking braids or worrying about getting our straight hair wet from pool water. So for those of you who have a black girl friend and don’t want to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, here are 10 things you should never say to black girls about their hair. We’re happy to answer questions you have about it, but don’t get too wack, you know?

1) “Haha, your hair feels like pubes.”

Never. Say. This. Ever. Don’t pull a Cameron Diaz.


2) Re: Any new hairstyle: “OMG so is that a weave?”


beyonce destinys child what skeptical

Not everything is a weave. Why are people so obsessed with wondering if something is a damn weave or real or fake or whatever. Relax.


3) “LOL that color looks so ghetto/hoodrat.”

rupaul slap

Right, so would you say that to someone else with this same hair color if they weren’t black? Or would their hair look “alt” and “edgy” and “cool” instead? Things that make you go hmmmm.


4) “Did you get a hair cut?”

orange is the new black side eye


Okay, to be fair, our hair does experience shrinkage in its natural state. One day it looks longer, the next, the curls can shrink and our hair can look shorter. But when I’m asked every other week whether or not I got a massive hair cut I want to claw my face out. No. I didn’t get a damn hair cut.


5) “I’m going to get your hair wet/splash you! Haha!” 

everybody hates chris say what


Yeah, I don’t think so.


6) “So, like, if you can’t get your hair wet…how do you shower?” Have you ever heard of a little thing called a shower cap?

Source: Giphy



7) “Why don’t you straighten your hair again? It looks so much better that way!”

afro love

Uh, because I don’t want to. I made the decision not to straighten my hair so how about you just respect that?



8) “Why are you straightening your hair? Do you hate yourself or something? Are you trying to look white? Why aren’t you proud of your natural hair?” 

paris is burning side eye

You know, some black women just like the way their hair looks when it is straightened. They don’t necessarily wish they were a different race with a different hair texture because of it.


9) “I have Hermione hair so I totally know how you feel!”


No, you don’t. But nice try.


And, of course…

10) “Your hair looks so poofy!”



What other annoying things have you heard people say about black hair? How will you plan to rock your hair this summer? Tell us in the comments!


10 Hair Care Tips For Black, Afro-Textured Hair

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  • Carolina Sander

    We need to be careful in our comments as well. That is the message here. Anyway, Try this new Fake sonogram videos from fakeababy. It is the answer if you need a gift for gags. This is the best.

  • Leah

    I hate it when people always ask is my hair weave or not be cause its below my shoulders. I’m like no then they ask why I never get weave in my hair. BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO! And also it gets on my nerve when people do 2, 6, and 7. I know some people are just curious but some questions are just ……………….

  • tassie

    people jus have different hair style

  • -sparkle-

    If I decide to wear my natural hair in a ponytail one day at school I can’t even walk down the hallway without someone stuffing their hands or faces in it or maybe getting a ring stuck in it. People think it’s gross that I can’t wash my hair every day and when I do flat-iron my hair (which is rare) I can’t even tell you how many times a day I get asked by both my white AND black friends “is that a weave?”

  • cam

    people love touching my hair its thick and curly/im black

  • Viki

    As a black girl with shoulder length hair, I absolutely hate it when my non-black friends or acquaintances ask me how SHORT my real hair is! They automatically assume that because I’m black, my hair is short. On top of that, they ask me, “So why don’t you wear your real hair instead of weave?” Well, some non-black people just don’t understand how much maintenance my hair needs, especially in the different seasons and years of relaxed hair. Sorry that I can’t just wet my hair and get voluptuous curls like some other black girls because my hair’s been relaxed since I was 5. So instead of cussing them out, I say my motto: “If you can’t grow it, sew it!”

  • Lizzy

    Thank you for this! A good friend of mine is black and has natural hair (I’m white), and I think her hair is beautiful, but I’ve never been sure of what kind of etiquette there is surrounding the subject. I don’t want to offend her, you know!

    • You’re a good friend! As long as you’re not rude or disrespectful (or touch her hair without asking) you’ll be good to go!

  • Olivia

    I hate when people with curly hair complain to me! Its like now imagine that with hair ten times curlier!
    And when people laugh cause you hair is ‘poofy’ and you’re just like, its not my fault!!

  • Jordyn Alexander

    I seriously hate when people say that my hair looks like i dont brush it! In order for my hair to stay intact, i comb it while im washing it in the shower. And i also cant just go dunk my head into random water! I cant wash it every single day either! Also, i cant just use any old thing on my head, so stop putting white girl products on my hair!