10 Tips On How To Deal With Rumors About Yourself

One of the worst things ever, especially in school, is having to deal with rumors about yourself. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that no matter how “popular” you are or not, you will have to deal with at least one nasty rumor about yourself. Rumors happen to all of us, and even when they’re not that bad, they’re still horrible (if that makes sense).

When I was in college, I worked in a restaurant, and a rumor somehow started about me hooking up with someone. It wasn’t true, but that didn’t matter. No one was outwardly mean about it, but I knew people were talking about it when I wasn’t around, and sometimes I would get teased for it in a joking way that didn’t feel very funny to me. No matter how many times I denied it, the rumor just wouldn’t go away. I’m sure that there are some people from that job who still believe it, actually.

As frustrating as the experience was, it taught me a lot about dealing with rumors and gossip. Since I know a lot of you have to go through the same thing, I put some tips together so you can get through this rough time with grace and maturity – unlike the people spreading the rumors. Here are 10 tips on how to deal with rumors about yourself.

Have you ever had to deal with a rumor that was spread about you? What did you do? What tips did I forget? Tell me in the comments!

 

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  • whisperingsage

    When I first moved to my small town of 800, there was an Army base here and I went to work at the Mess Hall, as a cook, I worked nights and the rumors were horrible. I honestly think I came to the understanding that some people, goofy men, I guess, even though it was supposed to be women that rumored the most, believe the ideas that pop into their dumb heads. My mess Attendent, Anita , and I used to ponder the rumors, and decided part of it was that I was single, since she was married to one of their NCO’s and they never bothered her. But we discussed ways to combat the rumors. One of our saying we came up with was “Small minds have Big mouths” and to be said directly to their faces.
    Sadly, one of the rumors was that I was a witch, we think that one was begun and kept going by the civilian population ( I was a civilian contractor, I also bought 80 sagebrush acres all by myself as a single young woman and had been struggling to survive there for years before I married). And also sadly, almost 30 years later, the witch rumor is still around. Because those continuing to say it, are too chicken to say anything to my face. Even though I married a conservative Baptist Pastor 14 years ago, we found one of our members’ cousins asked why her Pastor married “the witch”.

    So the rumor still lingers.

  • CMe4WhoIM

    I told my 18 y.o., who graduated H.S. last June, if someone (ex: a 14 or 15 y.o.) is saying negative things about you, with his/her own friends, but it gets back to you, unless the person gets on the School intercom, takes out a full-page ad in the School Newspaper, or announces it at an Assembly, IGNORE THEM!!! I said, as a 17 or 18 y.o. H.S. Senior, the ONLY thing they should be worried about is passing all their Classes, passing their Finals, and GRADUATING. What a Freshman or Sophomore thinks about them, and discusses with their close friends, is called exercising their 1st Amendment Rights; the only thing they can do is maybe talk with their Counselor, and make them aware of it, in case anything comes of it or it elevates. I’m getting ‘informed’ of a close H.S. Sr., a friend of my son, and I feel like a broken record, repeating myself and pointing out the Sr. needs to act mature and focus on school/attendance/graduation, instead of complaining to my son, and others, which is brought up with me again.

  • Feline Hysteria

    As a matter of self respect it is imperative to confront the person directly, face to face, privately at best. You don’t want to run off with your tail between your legs.
    Confront with what is called “gracious assertiveness”. In other words, no name calling. Start out by saying “I understand you have accused me of … “
    Maintain steady eye contact. Stay upright. Keep your hands steady. Pretend you are “Dirty Harry” Clint Eastwood if you need to.
    Do not avert your eyes at any point because this will give your opponent the upper hand. Steve Jobs excelled at this. You establish equity by confronting your accuser. You get to watch your enemy squirm, flail their hands, change the subject, and throw it back on you. Hold your ground. Say, “We are talking about this, not that.” Don’t expect an apology. At the end you can say that if any there are further rumors you will confront them again (sometimes this part works, sometimes not – but it serves notice).
    The accuser is likely to escalate the rumors, even creating new ones. If the rumors are happening within an organized social group you can send a global email to all those in the wide group, explaining – without naming names – what is going on. Cliques, Queen Bees, and Bullies don’t want their sh*t exposed. If you don’t do this people will assume the rumors are true. You may be pleasantly surprised that some will come forward on your side, publicly and privately.
    Also, you may see escalation so have a back-up plan, as in bringing in authorities. Make sure these authorities are trustworthy. Check on them. Not all authority figures have integrity.
    Once you have stood up for yourself, the invisible victim sign will come off your back. In time you will gain a form of invisible protection against this kind of evil. You will gain self confidence and self respect. People will respect you as a leader. You will be powerful.

    Bullying is a heinous act that together we can
    learn to defeat.

  • competitive spirit

    i will get well soon surely

  • competitive spirit

    now i read this article it is very helpful… but when i will think about the past i feel s much upset and started crying….

  • competitive spirit

    my relatives created lot f rumors on me … i cried a lot fr 2 years slowly i left my hometown and joined in a job they again they created i went with somene and got maaried ..like wise they created a lot ..but finally god helped me i earned 2 lakh rupees and went home again i will clear all the debts tht we have.. and finally
    i respected the people who have created rumors on me i acted like i dont know about it … i gave money to them because they are in very bad position….. but atlast i moved my family to my working town .. i dnt knw right now how they are creating rumors on me but some times i will fire myself and i want to give a complaint against them

  • Laney lou

    I just had a rumour spread about me on social media, but I really just don’t care. I came here to see if there were other ways to handle it, and this is absolutely helpful. People can talk all they want. I mean, dogs bark the loudest when they see you as a threat. I take it as a compliment.

  • kazey

    i agree thx for the advice

  • PieLover2808

    I agree so much with all of these! I know from experience that it’s really hard to stay true to yourself whenever people start spreading rumors like that. You may even start to think that you’re not good enough, but whatever happens, just remember to keep your head up high and follow these tips! Keep up the great work, Gurl!