Is it normal if my boyfriend doesn’t get jealous of anything? We have discussed the issue and he always says he prefers to trust me and not to think that something may happen. But sometimes I feel like it means he doesn’t really care about me. Is it okay that he is so relaxed about it!?
If the emails in my “Ask A Guy” inbox are any indication, jealousy seems to be one of the most prevalent issues in relationships — whether a surplus or a lack thereof, depending on the couple. Fortunately, I think you’re much better off with a guy who’s jealous of nothing rather than a guy who’s jealous of EVERYTHING. Even worse would be a crush who exhibits jealous behavior before you’ve even begun dating, or in spite of claiming that he isn’t interested in dating you at all. And of course, there are ladies out there who are consumed by jealousy over their boyfriends’ attention to other girls. But all of these types of jealousy are easily more destructive and difficult to deal with than a partner who refuses to show any.
In fact, not only is a lack of jealousy better than a surplus, it’s actually healthy! That your boyfriend trusts you is a GREAT thing: it means that he has faith in your character and the strength of your bond together. It may be easy to interpret such trust as a lack of caring or interest, but to me it just looks like your boyfriend is secure and mature enough to know that when you say you only want to be with him, you mean it. If you can look at the situation through this lens, it will only improve your relationship.
So yes, it’s definitely okay that your boyfriend is laid back about what you do, and whom you see. Sure, it’d be worrisome if he didn’t flinch when you lean in to kiss a stranger at the supermarket. But if you’ve never given him a reason to worry, why should he? Any healthy relationship is built on a foundation of trust, and it sounds like you’ve already got the makings of a great one!
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. Ethan also gives weekly advice in the video series “Dude Seriously?”. Follow Ethan on Twitter!