This week on the message boards, you guys are talking about what to do if you feel guilty after giving oral sex. Let’s see what y’all had to say:
“Last Friday, I gave my crush head. He’s never gotten it before, and he told me he wouldn’t have asked for it if he didn’t have feelings for me. I’ve only done it once before, so I warned him it wouldn’t be good. Before I did it, I made him promise he wouldn’t tell anyone.
Monday morning, I get to school and it’s already spreading around. No one believed it, but it pissed me off that he told tons of people after I stressed how important it was no one knew.
The thing with this guy is that some days he’ll be super sweet and affectionate towards me, then other days he’ll be dry and just plain rude which drives me crazy. Monday he was being nice, and today he was being a complete ass. He even went to one of my friends and fully said ‘one of your friends is a whore’ – those were his exact words.
I’m really regretting the fact that I did this now because of some obvious reasons. I honestly feel like s*** and I feel used, and even distanced myself from another great guy that was interested in me to show him that I’m only interested in him. What can I do to stop feeling guilty and crappy about this?”
“I went through something similar like this. It’s a hard thing to deal with but you need to accept that you’ve already done it. You can’t change it anymore. The bright side is that nobody believes him. Another pro is that now you know exactly how this guy is. If he’s going around calling you a ‘whore,’ does that seem sweet and affectionate to you? If this guy had any true feelings for you, he would never say that about you, let alone without any reason. It happened, just know you’re worth. I’m sure it’s a lot more of what he’s crediting you for. This guy sounds like a loser.”
“Just know you didn’t do anything wrong, but a guy who ‘has feelings for you’ wouldn’t do that, so it sounds like he just used you. Try and ignore it. It will die down in time, and I wouldn’t do anything with him again. Find a guy who really cares for you.”
[GURL] Little_Miss said:
“I really feel for you since I probably would have done the same thing- believed him and done what he wanted. It’s a mistake lots of girls make- they hear a guy’s words and trust them. But he was lying. He used you. He would be nice to you all the time and not only when he felt like it if he really had feelings for you.
If all else fails, time will solve the issue. Just give it some time and soon everyone will forget. But stay strong and don’t talk to that asshole anymore. He doesn’t deserve to even look at a wonderful girl like you.”
I totally understand this feeling. The first time I hooked up with a guy and did more than make out, he told a bunch of people about it. I hadn’t felt guilty until then, which helped me realize that it’s important to really be with someone who is trustworthy. If someone is going to spill intimate details about your relationship, they are absolutely not worth your time.
Now, as for the feeling guilty part, I get it. But you have to understand that you did nothing wrong and made a decision you were comfortable with. Feeling guilty because your crush ended up throwing your dirty laundry to the school is not your fault. He is the one who should feel guilty. (Honestly, this guy sounds like a total jerk.)
My best advice is to take it in stride and tell those people it’s none of their business. You don’t have to admit to anything. They have no place commenting on your personal life, and you don’t have to respond. Keep your head up, and keep moving forward. If you show them that what they’re saying doesn’t affect you, they’ll have nothing to go on. I promise they’ll forget about it soon enough.
What do you think? Have you ever felt guilty after oral sex? Has something like this ever happened to you? Tell us in the comments!
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