I have a lot of friends in advertising and marketing, and I’m always begging them to work their magic and push for their companies to use mascots that won’t haunt me in my dreams. Some brands, like Denny’s are cool enough on their own without one. But for some brands, having a mascot is necessary. It allows for the brand to be a little more personal, and it makes interacting with consumers more fun.
Y’all know I have some weird fears. I’m perfectly fine with being afraid of fish and dolls because I can easily avoid them. Advertising is not something I can easily avoid, especially since I work in the media. So creepy mascots really get on my nerves because they are EVERYWHERE. And some of them are absolutely terrifying.
Check out these horrible mascots if you dare:
Happy from McDonald's
I found out from Mashable today that McDonald's released a new mascot for their Happy Meals to bring smiles to children. In reality, I think it will cause children to have night terrors because this thing is so scary. I am never ordering a Happy Meal again if I have to see this.
Ronald McDonald from McDonald's
McDonald's started the clown trend, and I really wish they hadn't. Clowns are scary. Clowns smiling at you with dead-eyes while you try to enjoy a hamburger are even scarier.
Lemonhead from Ferrara Candy
Did you ever want to know what Arnold from Hey Arnold! would look like if he wanted to murder you? Well, here you go. Lemonhead just released this guy to bring him into the modern age or something. YOU CAN KEEP IT, THANKS.
Jack Box from Jack In The Box
Oh dear. Jack Box was some genius' idea to terrify small children. Jack Box is supposed to be the CEO of Jack in the Box. But he's super creepy because he has the body of a grown man, yet walks around wearing a gigantic clown head. Why are clowns such a fun theme for restaurants?!
The Burger King from Burger King
I could have thrown a party when BK decided to retire The Burger King in 2011. This was one of the worst things to ever happen to Burger King. I love me some BK, but I flat out refused to go because my local BK had one of these guys chillin' in the restaurant. I'll take a Number 9 with a large order of NOPE, please.
The Kool-Aid Man from Kool-Aid
In the words of Dane Cook, "OH NO MR. KOOL-AID MAN!" First, the Kool-Aid Man has a scary grin. Second, he literally destroys every wall he walks through! Third, his voice sounds like what happens when there's subliminal messaging if you play a song backwards.
The Spongmonkeys from Quiznos Subs
I remember seeing this Quiznos commercial when it first aired in 2004. I cried. These aren't mutated hamsters like they appear on first glance. They're called The Spongmonkeys and were created by some monster on the internet. Everyone else was just as upset by the Quiznos commercials so they stopped airing them a few months later, but no one forgot how traumatizing they were. No one.
Little Debbie from McKee Foods
I love Little Debbie's snack cakes. I mean, have you had a Swiss Roll? Anyway, I would buy snack cakes more if I didn't have to look at Little Debbie who stares at you with the fire of a thousand suns. Seriously, she wants to ruin your life, and she doesn't care.
Lucky the Leprechaun from Lucky Charms
Lucky the Leprechaun used to be a cute lil' guy. And then they updated him to peer into your soul and crush it. This photo isn't even the worst one. It was too much to put up, but it features Lucky glancing down at a bowl of Lucky Charms with a look that says "Magically devilish."
Snuggle Bear from Snuggle
Why are Snuggle Bear's eyes red? BECAUSE IT'S A DEMON THAT WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. Seriously, I would not let my mom buy Snuggle products when I was living at home because this thing is so scary. Every time I see Snuggle commercials, I have to change the channel. The new Snuggle Bear is creepy, but the old one was even worse. Watch the video if you don't want to sleep tonight!
What do you think about these mascots? Do you hate them as much as I do? What other mascots creep you out? Tell us in the comments!