Am I A Bitch For Telling My Friend Not To Date My Sibling?

If you have a sibling, you probably know what it’s like to have a friend or two be interested in them. Or maybe your sibling thinks you have hot friends. Either way, it can get a little uncomfortable sometimes. What are you supposed to do if your sibling and your friend want to date? Does it make you a bitch if you tell them not to?

That’s what you’re talking about on the message boards. Let’s see what y’all had to say:

RawrEatHam asked:
“Ok. So I’m one half of a twin. I want to know was it really bitchy of me to tell my best friend she couldn’t go out with my brother? They’d be a cute couple, you know, if it was my brother. I also kinda feel used, like she only became friends with me to get to my brother.”

mandakim said:
“I don’t know how you could tell her that she can’t go out with your brother. I mean it’s up to him if he wants to date her.”

Sabbi696 said:
“I think if they want to date each other, let them. I understand it might be a bit awkward, but if you think they would be a good couple, why would you want to get in the way of their happiness?”

bryonyelaine said:
“Don’t worry! I felt exactly the same when my best friend was close with my cousin. So many people tend to call him ‘gorgeous’ and they often talk to me about him, which gets annoying. If you don’t like the idea of them getting close, why not talk to your friend? You might also just be paranoid at the fact that your friend is using you. Speaking your mind may be the best way at the moment, but don’t be too harsh – you don’t wanna lose friends. If they’re happy, then leave them be!”

I totally get that you feel weird about your friend and your brother (especially your twin) dating. I have an older brother, and it always made me uncomfortable if my friends told me my brother was hot or that they were interested in him. On one hand, I liked the idea of my brother dating one of my friends because I knew they would be good for each other. But on the other hand, if they broke up it would have made things really difficult for everyone.

The bottom line is that you cannot control who people date, even if it’s your own flesh and blood. If your friend and your sibling want to date each other, that’s not up to you. And it’s really not fair to tell your friend or brother not to date. If you liked your brother’s friend, you wouldn’t want him telling you not to date his friend, right?

The only thing you really can do is express your concerns to the both of them. Let them know that you don’t want their relationship to affect your relationship with either of them. Tell your friend that you still want time with her, even if she’s seeing your brother, and that you don’t need details on their dating life.
 
What do you think? Can you tell your friend not to date your sibling? Tell us in the comments!
 

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  • Sarah

    My friend and brother have been in a long-term relationship. It was weird at first and I wasn’t thrilled about it, but eventually, as I saw that they treated each other well and they were making each other happy, I accepted it, and now, I’m really grateful and happy that both my friend and brother have each other.

    As for spending time with her, it’s good to give her space, but I suggest that you try to hang out with other friends, instead of solely spending time with her, or keep yourself occupied with hobbies.

    And just like your parents or anyone can’t tell you who you can or cannot date, it isn’t fair or respectful to tell your friend that she can’t date your brother because YOU don’t want it; it is kind of selfish. More importantly, you need to put your brother’s happiness first, if you really love, care and want him to be happy.

    In my case, I wouldn’t stand in the way of their relationship unless she or my brother were emotionally or physically abusing each other, which has never occurred to them.

    It’ll be awkward in the first few months, year or so, but it’ll get better and soon enough, you’ll be happy for them and it won’t be an issue. Good luck!