How To Deal When Your Boyfriend Wants You To Send Naked Pictures

Hi Heather,

My boyfriend is begging me to send him naked pictures. I’m 18, so it’s legal for me to take naked pictures of myself, but I still don’t want to. I don’t feel comfortable having dirty pictures of myself out there, maybe even on the Internet. He promises he won’t share any of them, but I don’t want to risk it. He’s a nice guy, and our relationship is fine, but this is not something I want to do. Should I break up with him or just plain say no?

First, I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with your stance on this issue. It’s completely understandable – and totally okay – to not want to send naked pictures, even if they are to your boyfriend. I don’t blame you for being worried that your dirty pictures will end up on the Internet or even just being shared with other dudes. That’s really valid, considering it happens all the time, and is exactly why we always recommend against sending naked pictures. Once those bad boys are in the hands of someone else, that person can do whatever they want with them. That’s scary!

Second? You definitely need to talk to your boyfriend before you just break up with him for asking. Tell him the truth – that you’re just not comfortable with the idea of sending naked pictures of yourself. He’ll absolutely promise you that he won’t do anything with them, but tell him that doesn’t matter, you still don’t like the idea of it. Let him know that it’s not an issue of trust, it’s just something you don’t want to do, with him or anyone else. Be stern so that he knows that nothing he can say will change your mind. If he’s a good guy who cares about you, he’ll understand where you’re coming from and he’ll back off.

If he stops asking, great! Continue your relationship. If he keeps pushing the issue, however, then you can consider possibly breaking up with him, because that’s annoying. You can give him one more warning, like, “You really need to stop asking, it’s getting on my nerves. I already told you how I feel, and that’s not going to change.” If that still doesn’t work, then maybe you should end things, because that shows that he really only cares about what he wants and he isn’t respecting what you want.

Just make sure you know that there’s nothing wrong with how you feel. Other girls may be okay with sending naked pictures, but that doesn’t mean you have to be. Don’t let this guy – or anyone else – ever guilt you into doing it.

take care,

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Ellie

    I don’t want to send nude photos, it’s just something I don’t want to do but my boyfriend keeps saying that “sometimes we do things we don’t want to do for the people we love”. I don’t think he understands my reason and thinks it’s just not good enough. I’ve tried to be stern but he also says “if making me happy makes you happy surely that outweighs the fact that you might be unhappy whilst sending them”… I almost feel like I have no choice anymore and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make him see my point and I kind of feel like I’m being guilt tripped and manipulated. He says things like “I’m not telling you to do it” just so I can’t say that he forced me or told me to but in a way he still kind of is forcing me indirectly. What do I do !!!????

  • Nicole

    Ask for a naked of him. 🙂

  • Nokwanda n

    hey guyz it ok.. if u fil so.

  • Maggie

    I don’t have a bf but that is girl biz you know, and you shouldn’t break up with him it is probably normal for bfs to see you like that’s.

    • hemant sharma

      I m totaly agree with you dear!!!!

  • Mya

    Hi, I`m mya! I just want to say that it is normal for guys to want to see naked pictures of you. But it is normal to feel this way. Just know that every thing you do comes back. Ask yourself….If I do this will he dump me right after I send it to him? Will he show my friends or his friends? Will he put it on the internet?

    I know how you feel, this happened to me. I just said no. That`s not what I belive. And if I dont feel comfortable, I dont do it. It might be 2 years, but he shouldn`t be pressuring you. If you said no, then he should respect that.

    If you ask him why he wants to see naked pictures of you……and he says becuase i love you and want to see you…then thats the wrong answer
    Becuase if he really loved you then he wouldnt be pressuring you and understand

    But the choice is yours, remeber be responsible, be careful and chose wisely

  • sweetsnake_tx

    Hi am Brittany I know my boyfriend john for 2 years and he is being a big… know what with me just caz I dot show him naked picture of me and he just seen my tits and when a bra on and me and the mirror with a bra and underwear just my body and
    He is just not happy he what’s more….what I do??? Plz tell me and he what’s to have phone sex and I never feel like doing that can you give me a price about that too