How To Make Your Relationship More Interesting When Things Get Boring

Hey Heather,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, and our relationship has mellowed out and gotten pretty boring. We still love each other and neither of us want to break up, but things are different than they were in the beginning. Please help me, I don’t know what to do to make our relationship more interesting and get back to being fun and not so serious.

Ah, the two-year mark – it’s about that time for things to start getting boring in a relationship. The honeymoon stage is long over, and at this point, you’ve both gotten so comfortable with each other that mystery and excitement doesn’t really exist anymore. You’ve gotten to know each other well, it seems like there’s nothing new left to do, and suddenly, you find yourselves watching movies every time you hang out and feeling envious of those new couples who still can’t believe they’re dating each other. It’s discouraging, but it’s also normal AND it can be fixed.

Every long-term relationship has it’s boring moments. The key to getting through them is to work at making your relationship more interesting. You can’t expect things to be exciting if you two are doing the same thing every single day. Routines are great, and I firmly believe you should have one – but I also firmly believe that you need to go out of your way to try to make things more interesting.

Making things better will be all about doing new things. Why? Because that’s exciting and will help you two bond. Try doing something new every once in a while when you guys hang out, like going to a new restaurant, hanging out with different people, taking a mini road trip for the day to somewhere you’ve never been. Don’t always rely on what you usually do together for a good time.

Having a date night at least twice a month (or once a week) is a great way to try out new things. It will be a night you can both plan and look forward to. On that night, do something new and fun together, whether it’s trying new food or playing mini golf. It can be whatever, as long as it’s something you’ll both enjoy. If it’s possible for you guys to plan a vacation together, definitely do that. Going on vacay is a great way to make things more exciting, even if it’s just a few hours away.

You can also try new things in the bedroom, if you’re up for it. As long as you’re both comfortable with it, there is nothing wrong with experimenting. Even if it fails, it’s still something you guys can bond over and it’s still something you’re doing differently.

Another way to make things more interesting? Try injecting a little bit of mystery into the relationship. Maybe you’re spending too much time together – you guys could benefit from each having a night where you hang with your friends instead of each other. Sometimes, if you put just a little distance there, things get more exciting, because then you both look forward to seeing each other more.

Doing any of that stuff should make things a little more fun. But chances are, your relationship isn’t going to ever go completely back to the way it was in the beginning. It’s okay, though – that just means you’re in a different stage of love where things are more comfortable and quiet. Embrace it and enjoy the fact that you know each other so well. It’s nice to get to that point! And you can always try any of the above tips for a little extra excitement :)

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

 

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Brett

    Ummm Megan having sex at age 9 isn’t something you should be proud of, especially if you got pregnant. Your body at age 9 is not ready to carry a child which is why your baby died. You should not be encouraging sex ever. Believe it or not, some girls still want to wait and you need to respect that and not make them feel pressured into having sex. I never EVER encouraged my friends or RANDOM PEOPLE I DON’T EVEN KNOW, to have sex. Learn some respect and stop being proud that you started having sex do young. Girls like you are why young girls think it is okay to have sex at young ages and it’s not okay. Sex was meant to keep the human population alive not to kill it.

  • meganb48

    me and my bf have been dating for 4 weeks now and he does not wanna do anything with me! we dont hold hand we dont kiss and he just wanna kiss in my best friends room (thats were we hang out) the other day at the mall i tryed to hold his hand and said what are u doing? and i tryed making out with him and was like ew why do wanna do that! ughh help me plz

  • Megan

    You know, guys can always be fun to have sex with. I started having sex at age 9 with a guys named Jeremy Clark. We took off our shirts and pants and I became pregnant because I had gotten my period a month before that…everyone though I was just getting fatter. Eventually the baby died and they had to cut me open!

    • Ansley

      I really find this story hard to believe.

      • Rakshita

        haha ! what a crap 😀

    • Anna

      You got your period when you were nine? That’s hard to believe, although that could be possible

      You shouldn’t be proud of what you did. You got pregnant at such a young age, which isn’t great