My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, and our relationship has mellowed out and gotten pretty boring. We still love each other and neither of us want to break up, but things are different than they were in the beginning. Please help me, I don’t know what to do to make our relationship more interesting and get back to being fun and not so serious.
Ah, the two-year mark – it’s about that time for things to start getting boring in a relationship. The honeymoon stage is long over, and at this point, you’ve both gotten so comfortable with each other that mystery and excitement doesn’t really exist anymore. You’ve gotten to know each other well, it seems like there’s nothing new left to do, and suddenly, you find yourselves watching movies every time you hang out and feeling envious of those new couples who still can’t believe they’re dating each other. It’s discouraging, but it’s also normal AND it can be fixed.
Every long-term relationship has it’s boring moments. The key to getting through them is to work at making your relationship more interesting. You can’t expect things to be exciting if you two are doing the same thing every single day. Routines are great, and I firmly believe you should have one – but I also firmly believe that you need to go out of your way to try to make things more interesting.
Making things better will be all about doing new things. Why? Because that’s exciting and will help you two bond. Try doing something new every once in a while when you guys hang out, like going to a new restaurant, hanging out with different people, taking a mini road trip for the day to somewhere you’ve never been. Don’t always rely on what you usually do together for a good time.
Having a date night at least twice a month (or once a week) is a great way to try out new things. It will be a night you can both plan and look forward to. On that night, do something new and fun together, whether it’s trying new food or playing mini golf. It can be whatever, as long as it’s something you’ll both enjoy. If it’s possible for you guys to plan a vacation together, definitely do that. Going on vacay is a great way to make things more exciting, even if it’s just a few hours away.
You can also try new things in the bedroom, if you’re up for it. As long as you’re both comfortable with it, there is nothing wrong with experimenting. Even if it fails, it’s still something you guys can bond over and it’s still something you’re doing differently.
Another way to make things more interesting? Try injecting a little bit of mystery into the relationship. Maybe you’re spending too much time together – you guys could benefit from each having a night where you hang with your friends instead of each other. Sometimes, if you put just a little distance there, things get more exciting, because then you both look forward to seeing each other more.
Doing any of that stuff should make things a little more fun. But chances are, your relationship isn’t going to ever go completely back to the way it was in the beginning. It’s okay, though – that just means you’re in a different stage of love where things are more comfortable and quiet. Embrace it and enjoy the fact that you know each other so well. It’s nice to get to that point! And you can always try any of the above tips for a little extra excitement 🙂
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