10 Things Virgins Are Sick Of Hearing

For the most part, I think that the concept of virginity in general is pretty much crap, but I’m not going to pretend that it isn’t something that still holds some meaning or value in our society. That’s why I get so many amazing (i.e. annoying) comments when my v-card comes up in conversation.

There are so many annoying assumptions made as to why somebody is a virgin past a certain age and I’ve heard just about all of them. Well meaning or otherwise, here are 10 irritating things that virgins are sick of hearing.

1) “Are you waiting for that special someone?”

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

If by special someone you mean somebody who I didn’t just meet five minutes ago in a scummy hipster bar, yes. I guess I’m waiting for that special someone. In all honesty, I’m not planning on waiting for marriage or anything. It just…hasn’t happened yet. That’s all.

 

2) “It’s not really a big deal.”

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

I know that’s what you’re supposed to say. And I know that that’s what I should believe. But that doesn’t stop the fact that the actual thought of doing it for the first time leaves me feeling clammy and anxious.

 

3) “You’ll find somebody.”

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Yes, just as ships eventually make their way to shore, unless they sink. Planes eventually make their way back down to earth; sometimes in a fiery crash. Yeah, this whole “eventually” thing isn’t all that reassuring.

 

4) “Wait, you’re a virgin? Really?”

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Why are you so surprised? Do I look like I’m getting a lot of action? How does that even look? Do I give off sex vibes? Can you teach me how to make those sex vibes actually turn into sex action?

 

5) “Ugh, you’re lucky. I wish I waited!”

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Okay.

 

6) “Good, because the bible says–“

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

I don’t care, though. I’m not even religious. I’m not saving it for Jesus. I’m not even actively saving my v-card. It’s just, there.

 

7) “Maybe your standards are too high.”

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Should standards be low for who you decide to rub private parts with? Huh, okay, noted.

 

8) “So what are you going to tell your future partner? Are you going to spill the beans?”

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

I won’t say anything. They’ll have to guess my secret through an intense game of charades.

 

9) “Seriously though, it’s not a big deal.”

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

The more you say it, the more I’m thinking you’re just pitying me.

 

10) “Maybe you’ll end up doing it with somebody who is also a virgin!”

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Joy. Looking forward to that hot mess.

 

What annoying questions or comments have you received about being a virgin? Do they get under your skin or do you just brush it off? Tell us in the comments!

 

 

Losing Your Virginity: What To Expect Your First Time Having Sex

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  • es

    Thanks so much for posting this.

  • Cadence Wallace

    Love the last one, I’m a virgin and I’d DO NOT want to have sex with a virgin! Nope nope nope nope nope!!

  • Anonymous

    Being a virgin is lack of opportunity.,really annoying

  • Red

    The most recent comment was from my mum, when she said to me “Having a sex life at some point is nice you know.” I felt like saying “Thank you, mother, but despite what you and the rest of my family believe, I am not actively avoiding having sex, nor avoiding relationships. I just haven’t got round to getting to know anyone in that sort of way, and I have a pretty busy life thank you very much. Its not like I’m never going to have a sex life.” Instead, my attempt at correcting her resulted in her acting very offended and sulky for an hour. *sigh* And its hardly the first time members of my family have asked me questions like this, with my brother previously declaring to the world loudly in a town centre that I was “never going to have sex, never going to get a boyfriend and never going to get married” to my parents, stating that was what I said to him. Or my grandma asking me if I was a lesbian and my cousin chipping in with “thats a practical idea, makes sense too”. I just feel like saying “WHY IS IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS?!”

  • Megan

    I’m not ashamed of being a virgin. I would be nervous doing well you know it for the first time. I would be scared. my heart would be racing and I would have a serious anxiety attack . The guy would know what to do cause the fact is that he is a guy and guys aren’t nervous like girls, but I’m proud to keep my virginity. most girls wanna be virgins and say ”I should have waited”.

  • Anonymous

    I’m actually excited about the idea of it. I’m not planning on losing it until i’m in love with someone and we’re ready.

  • Michelle

    The thought of losing my virginity seriously freaks me out. Not so much as it used to, but I don’t even use tampons because I have a fear of penetration. I’m 16 and I’ve had my period since I was 11. The thought of something going in there just freaks me out. The actual reason that I’m waiting though is because I don’t see the sense in having sex in high school when there are so many risks.

    • Emily

      Literally in the exact same situation, i mean i use tampons but just recently and i just think the risks are too high…

    • Amy

      I like the thought of sex, when I read my romance books I have this whole plan on how I’m going to seduce a guy(when I get older of course) with sexy hand cuffs and all that stuff. Then I try to think ”could I actually do that)? The answer is no, I’d probably blush and avoid eye contact. I’m 13, I;m not looking to have sex till I’m at least 20. Heck, I’ve never even HAD a BF, bad thing is I’ve seen 7year old have dates-sad. The only time I was asked out was by an idiot/dork(sorry, but true) with ear wax pouring out of his ears. GAG! If that’s not bad enough he sent someone else to ask me, was trying to ask another girl out at the same time and was only asking me to make HER jealous! So what does that say for me, nothing good. What happened to the good old days when the guy brought you flowers or anything nice without trying to get in your pants?! My great grandmother thinks I’m a lesbian for not having a BF! NOT my fault, I’m just saying. (Not bragging) but I’m pretty, smart, and fun. How do guys not notice me?

      • Sheena

        That’s the spirit! I remember feeling that way when I was your age and you know what? There’s no reason to rush. My friends always pressured me to start dating. But I never really found anyone who openly told me that they liked me enough to date. I felt really insecure for a few years and doubted I would find someone. Eventually I got tired of waiting and settled for a guy I didn’t even like. Needless to say, it didn’t work out.

        Soon after, I just didn’t let myself be bothered by the fact that I didn’t have a boyfriend. I am beautiful and smart and I didn’t need a guy to give me self-worth. I embraced that philosophy and focused on myself. Now I’m 20 with my wonderful boyfriend who I’ve been with for a while now and is definitely a keeper. I wish that I could go back in time and tell my past self the amazing person she’ll be with in the future. There’s someone that’s gonna come into your life in a way that you might not expect, so just close your eyes and be open to surprises. It’s worth the wait.

  • Annabel

    You know what I hate, it is when my friends say “Your too pure Annabel” That bugs me so much because its like, yea, so what that I want to wait to have sex and I don’t feel the need to give away my virginity to someone that really doesn’t love me. It feels good to vent!

  • Louise

    Missed out: *hushed tones* “Are you a lesbian?”

    • Hannah

      Funnier when the one’s asking is your grandma *true story*

  • shane

    ugh i have a bf but people keep coming up to us when were hugging and saying “why havent you two had sex yet?” (um because we actually have future plans unlike you) is really what i want to say but we dont really say anyhting just look at them like gtfo, and they usually say “geez loosen up and have fun! sex is good!” and walk away leaving it a tad awkward between us…

  • Jessabelle02

    omg yes! people can’t stop looking at me like im some kind of wild zoo animal when they find out… it’s like why do you even care or have any say in what \i do with my vagina?? stop being creepy -_-

  • Kim

    I have literally had someone tell me that “If you ever want to lose your virginity…I’m here for you.”
    UM. OK. First of all, no. Second of all, get away from me.
    Probably the most awkward conversation of my life.

    • Elena

      Haha! I had a guy tell me the same! later I found out he’s this pervert of our school who probably says it to every junior girl -.- IDIOT

  • Artemis95

    This is very true even for those of us who are virgins strictly by choice. I’m saving myself for if I get married (Yes, if. I don’t consider it a given, and I’m OK with the concept of permanent celibacy. This one never goes over well) and people just don’t get it. I especially get that surprised reaction from #4. What, did you think we all just skip around in perfect white dresses braiding flowers in our hair, surrounded by a halo of light. Forgive me for pursuing a career and liking latin dance. That, and the question of “why?” A.) Because I want to be. B.) Why does it matter? and C.) Oh, yeah…WHAT MAKES IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

  • Anna

    I love this! There is such a stigma surrounding virginity, and I hate it. I am not an “old virgin” by choice–I have social anxiety disorder, and that makes things difficult at best. I really don’t want to be a nun; life has just worked out that way.

  • Emily

    Oh my god! These are so accurate and hilarious! Especially #1.

  • vanessa

    so relatable, people ask “but don’t you want to do it?” and im just over here like someone actually has to want to do that with me…

    • Louise

      So true. And not particularly one you want to shout out to the world.

  • Brandy

    I’m thinking your still being a virgin and that attitude you have *might* coincide. Standards are wonderful, fighting back at your perceived anti-virginity enemies with sarcastic snark and condescension is not.

    • Cynicism–especially when it is fleshed out in the form of a GIF post–has nothing to do with one’s propensity to lose their v-card, but okay.

  • Becki

    #7 always makes me want to reply with something along the lines of, well we can’t all have low standards. because if you think about it, they’re implying to have sex you gotta have low standards…