For the most part, I think that the concept of virginity in general is pretty much crap, but I’m not going to pretend that it isn’t something that still holds some meaning or value in our society. That’s why I get so many amazing (i.e. annoying) comments when my v-card comes up in conversation.
There are so many annoying assumptions made as to why somebody is a virgin past a certain age and I’ve heard just about all of them. Well meaning or otherwise, here are 10 irritating things that virgins are sick of hearing.
1) “Are you waiting for that special someone?”
If by special someone you mean somebody who I didn’t just meet five minutes ago in a scummy hipster bar, yes. I guess I’m waiting for that special someone. In all honesty, I’m not planning on waiting for marriage or anything. It just…hasn’t happened yet. That’s all.
2) “It’s not really a big deal.”
I know that’s what you’re supposed to say. And I know that that’s what I should believe. But that doesn’t stop the fact that the actual thought of doing it for the first time leaves me feeling clammy and anxious.
3) “You’ll find somebody.”
Yes, just as ships eventually make their way to shore, unless they sink. Planes eventually make their way back down to earth; sometimes in a fiery crash. Yeah, this whole “eventually” thing isn’t all that reassuring.
4) “Wait, you’re a virgin? Really?”
Why are you so surprised? Do I look like I’m getting a lot of action? How does that even look? Do I give off sex vibes? Can you teach me how to make those sex vibes actually turn into sex action?
5) “Ugh, you’re lucky. I wish I waited!”
6) “Good, because the bible says–“
I don’t care, though. I’m not even religious. I’m not saving it for Jesus. I’m not even actively saving my v-card. It’s just, there.
7) “Maybe your standards are too high.”
Should standards be low for who you decide to rub private parts with? Huh, okay, noted.
8) “So what are you going to tell your future partner? Are you going to spill the beans?”
I won’t say anything. They’ll have to guess my secret through an intense game of charades.
9) “Seriously though, it’s not a big deal.”
The more you say it, the more I’m thinking you’re just pitying me.
10) “Maybe you’ll end up doing it with somebody who is also a virgin!”
Joy. Looking forward to that hot mess.
What annoying questions or comments have you received about being a virgin? Do they get under your skin or do you just brush it off? Tell us in the comments!