Unless you went to a super conservative school, sexual health is pretty much part of the bread and butter of most middle school and high school science classes at some point. Whether it’s fooling around with condoms and bananas, taking care of an egg for a couple of weeks with a partner, or checking out a bunch of photos of chlamydia, we’re pretty much taught to be scared out of having reckless sex.
If you are curious about some other ways to have the safest sex possible but don’t feel like, you know, Googling, check out these 10 ridiculous safe sex tips.
String Your Birth Control Along Those Candy NecklacesBecause taking them like a normal mature person is too boring, right? This is a lot more fun. Source: Shutterstock
Choose Condoms Based On Whichever Has The Prettiest Package (No Pun Intended)We should always praise excellent graphic design, okay? Source: Shutterstock
Listen To A Crying Baby Soundtrack For A BitThe best safe sex technique, hands down. Nothing will inspire you to use protection more than this. Source: Shutterstock
And Then Turn On '2 Become 1' By Spice GirlsThere's a great line in this song that goes, "Be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put it on." When the Spice Girls tell you to use a condom, you listen. Without hesitation. Source: YouTube
Use Food As LubeBecause who doesn't want ketchup and mustard up their cooch? Sounds totally comfortable. Totally. Comfortable. Source: Dazed And Confused/Gramercy Pictures
If You're Going To Incorporate Food, At Least Make Sure It's OrganicLet's have a pesticide-free vag, you know? Source: The To Do List/CBS Films
Decorate The Room For Some Great AmbianceUse unused condoms and turn them into balloon animals. It'll really set the mood. Source: Durex
Pray Throughout Your Lovemaking That The Birth Control Doesn't FailSay it loud and say it proud. This won't be distracting whatsoever. Source: Saved!
Have Some Nasty Pics Of STDs Hanging On A Nearby WallIt'll be just like health class...just a lot more awkward. Source: Shutterstock
Have A WebMD Tab OpenJust in case you are paranoid as your partner is gettin' down to business, have your computer or smartphone nearby so you can multitask. Who says you can't learn and have sex at the same time? Source: Girls/HBO