Do Guys Think It’s Annoying When Girls Text First?

Texting these days is a necessary evil. It’s the easiest mode of communication and allows us to talk without having to actually speak to someone. It’s super convenient, but it also can cause a lot of stress when someone doesn’t respond to a text right away or when deciding which emoji to use.

Texting in the dating world can be complicated and confusing and often feels like a game. Do guys get annoyed when girls text them first? That’s what you’re talking about on the message boards. Let’s see what y’all had to say:

chococookie11 asked:
“Is it annoying when the girl always text firsts? I was just wondering because this guy I like never ever texts me first, and when I text him it to 24 hours to reply but then the convo keeps going? So is he just shy or something? My main question is do guys hate it when girls keep texting first like once a week?”

MeowSezTheCat said:
“He is likely shy.”

Blond3Bitch said:
“I don’t think you should keep texting him first if he doesn’t ever text you. It just shows disinterest from his side, and he’ll probably notice that you like him if you keep sending him all the time (except, if you do it from time to time). But since he shows hints when you’re with him, then maybe you should just wait, because most boys show their interest from Facebook or mobile. At least, it’s the first step to flirting with someone! And no, I don’t find it annoying, but only when the boy texts you first too. If he never does, then just stop. Like I said, girls making the first step is never bad but not when you don’t get a response from him.”

taebadass said:

“Well it does seem he likes you on that.f the guy truly is interested in you he’ll reply to the message the second you send it, but I know some guys that like to play hard to get, so you to need to play hard to get on him too. If he takes a day to reply back to your message then you also take a day to reply back, but there also needs to be times that he text you first which also shows he interested in you. To answer your main question- Guys like it when girls text first, but sometimes the guys like to text first.”

Unfortunately, there is no magic answer to this question. I can’t speak for every guy or girl because everyone is different. Some people prefer to text first, some people prefer to be texted.

I do not think you’re being annoying if you text someone first. I get annoyed when I get multiple messages before I respond because if I haven’t responded, I’m probably doing something. If I want to talk to someone, I’m going to talk to them so I don’t want anyone to think it’s wrong to text someone first. However, if you’re ALWAYS reaching out for communication first, I’d probably take a step back. It doesn’t mean this person doesn’t like you or doesn’t want to talk to you, but if someone is really interested, they will make effort to communicate with you as well.

Like I said before, texting is complicated. But do not make it a game. Don’t plan out responding to a text in three hours because he waited three hours. You’re going to drive yourself up the wall if you treat texting like a game. If you feel like the communication is really one-sided, it might not be worth your time. But don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to someone because you’re a girl!

Do you think guys get annoyed when girls text them first? How do you text? Tell us in the comments!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.


Would you ask your mom for a vibrator?


Follow Gurl, pretty please!
Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram

Posted in: Boards, Health, Sex & Relationships
Tags: , , ,
  • Ems I


    I have a situation that I really need a guy’s advice on.

    I’m at uni and I really like my lecturer (I’m in my 30s so no age issues). I know that he liked me. Let’s call him John. He was making an effort to get to talk to me around the uni, he was often around where I was and he tried to flirt with me on several occasions etc. However, at the time he was doing all this this I was already liking someone else and wasn’t sure if I liked John or not at that time.

    The guy I liked was his friend and John knew about it. His friend used to flirt and be really friendly with me a while ago but stopped when John started to show that he was interested in me. I felt bad that his friend had stopped flirting with me as it felt like a rejection and things became awkward between myself and the other guy. I was also upset over some other personal health stuff too. I wasn’t upset because I was really really into his friend but just because I liked him as a person and felt sad that the friendliness between us was lost and things were awkward. His friend had started doing stuff like sitting with his back to me and turning his head away from me which felt very hurtful.

    John saw me upset and came to assume that it was something to do with his friend and I think he was left with the impression that I was cut up over his friend. We weren’t directly verbally communicating at the time and I didn’t have the opportunity to explain to him the actual reasons why I was upset. During this time I saw John but only around other people in the public areas, he tried to joke about it all and make funny jokes about how I could have fancied his friend when he was much more sexy than him etc.

    At this time he was still making it clear he was interested. However I didn’t feel right to just go from his friend straight to him. I didn’t want John to feel like I was just going to him because his friend wasn’t interested anymore. I was also still just feeling low because of my own personal stuff and wasn’t able to be receptive to him at that time. I just wasn’t feeling good enough about myself to be receptive to him.

    At a certain point about a week later John started to look really upset and his behaviour changed, he was still ok with me but he wasn’t making jokes anymore. I tried to put my own stuff aside and look ok so as it didn’t make him feel any worse.

    Eventually after the last class before Xmas break We both stayed behind to talk to each other and we had a really nice casual chat. I showed him that I cared about him, what he was doing for Xmas etc, that he wasn’t alone etc. I also told him that I planned to go away and just casually chatted. I felt it was important to show him that I was a person with my own life etc. He was really flirting and making his attraction for me clear, I was really warm and caring with him but because I didn’t feel totally ready I can’t say that I was really flirting with him.

    I felt really good after that conversation and thought that we had left things on a good note. Over Xmas break I thought about John a lot and realised that it was him that I wanted and had the idea that when we returned for the start of term we could start something.

    Neither John nor I had each other’s contact details (other than uni email account), but he is on Facebook so we didn’t have contact over the 5 week break.

    When we started uni again in January I was feeling a bit nervous wondering about if he would still like me or not so when I saw him in his classroom for the first time I was guarded and was just waiting to see his reaction and if there was any indication that he was still interested. My immediate reaction was that things seemed slightly different, he didn’t seem quite as attentive as he used to be, he didn’t seem really really happy and excited to see me. But then again nor did I even though inside I was. Eventually he looked at me and things were ok- ish. At the end of the class he seemed to move in the direction of the door as I was approaching the door as if he might be going to talk to me or waiting for me to talk to him, but as I was so unsure of his body language etc and things seemed a bit different so i just gave an unsure smile and so did he and I walked on out the door without talking to him.

    A few days after that I saw his friend in the lift and things were really awkward between us and I was hostile with him, not because I was still into him but because I didn’t like how he had handled everything with turning his back to me and facing away from me etc. It had been hurtful.

    The next day I had a class with John and again he really seemed a bit different. Things were still reasonably friendly, he was ok-ish with me and I caught him looking at me a couple of times when he thought I wasn’t looking.

    He then made some jokes for the class. He teaches optics and in the context of making an academic point, he put a picture on the board and talked about his girlfriend being in the picture when there was no woman actually in the picture. It was one of those comments that may have or may not have been true. At the time I was feeling confused and started to panic that he may actually have met someone over Xmas.

    The following day we were meant to have individual feedback sessions with him to go over our exams results. I had put my name down for a slot with no other students coming after me for over 1 hour. However, he didn’t turn up for any of the students that day and sent an email the following day apologising saying something had come up and sent a new list of times. I had been put down for a slot like all the other students with another student immediately following me.

    In the meantime, I had felt stupid that I had been so hostile with his friend and had sent his friend a personal email to apologise for my behaviour and told him something personal about me in my explanation for my behaviour.

    I was feeling really nervous about the next class with John as I guess I kind of knew maybe he would know that I shared something personal with his friend. I had arranged to sit at the back of the class with my friends so as not to be alone. I normally sit somewhere near the front. I didn’t look at John when I entered and my friend talked to me as I entered and therefore my back got turned to him. I noticed that John left the class briefly after this.

    On the day of the rescheduled meeting I went to John’s office and was a few minutes late. This would have been the first opportunity for us to be in a private place together and I had hoped that this might be an opportunity to start something.

    All our previous interactions had taken place in the public area. Immediately at his office door he was in a bad mood, he accused me of being an hour late when I was only 5-10mins late. He wasn’t even going to let me come in at first so I got irritated and said “forget it” and started to walk off but then he said ok come in.

    Once I had entered he became slightly nice but didn’t flirt at all. He kept saying he was in a hurry and that other students would be coming soon. I already knew the students with appointments after me were not coming so he lied by saying they were. I tried to ask him about certain bits of work and he was really short with me, like he wanted me out of his office ASAP.

    I eventually got irritated with him. I noticed that his eyes widened and he started to look a little excited after I got irritated really assertive with him. I felt that he couldn’t hide his attraction at that point.

    I didn’t have the opportunity to ask him all the questions I needed to about work. In the end I got so irritated with his unhelpful attitude I just walked out of his office. Shortly after I sent him an angry email containing all the questions I didn’t have a chance to ask and swore at him. I couldn’t believe that he actually responded and did answer my questions.

    Anyway I’ve seen him twice since then. The first time I initially blanked him as I want sure how things would be. He was also busy in a lab. Afterwards he seemed to say hello to me in the public area but because my eyesight isn’t great I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or the girl next to me. The last time I saw him, he did look at me but I didn’t really look at him.

    So after this long ramble. If I like him and I want us to get to know each other properly and go out together is the situation redeemable? If so, how? Is it too late or do you think he might still be interested? What can I do?


  • CiaraH

    Met a guy a while back..we went out but nothing came of it..he concluded that I was looking for a relationship..which I was..I met a lovely guy who I dated for a while..during this time, the other guy txt me a lot..asking me out etc..I naturally declined as I was seeing sumone..which he knew..I became single again in July and heard frm the first guy straight away..don’t know how his timing was so good..anyway..went on three dates with him..have been cool but..last week he went away for a weeks business and I haven’t heard frm him at all..what’s going on?? don’t know what to think!!!

  • Stroke

    I met a guy yesterday (Friday) at some warehouse party but we lost each other eventually. We never texted each other asking where we were but I assume it’s because we were both high. But yeah, I left eventually and thought of texting the guy the day after but that seems needy. So I’m just gonna wait when the weekend’s over. That should be fine, right?

  • Hillary

    Mine is, “*your name*” “Hi *your name*” =))