Today, I read about one of the worst ideas ever. There is a company out there called Rent-a-Rebound (seriously) that makes it look like you’re in a new relationship so that you can make your ex jealous. No, really, I’m being totally serious.
It’s not cheap, either: you have to spend a couple of hundred dollars in order to have a fake person post pictures and messages to your social media accounts so that your ex thinks you’re dating someone new. This is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard of. First of all, why do you need to make your ex jealous? Oh, right, you don’t. Second of all, rebounds are not a good idea, even fake ones.
Which brings me to my point: rebound relationships are usually a terrible idea. People get into them for different reasons. Sometimes, it’s to get over an ex. Sometimes, they’re doing it without even realizing it. Sometimes, they just want to be with someone. Rebound relationships are okay if you go into the situation truly believing that it’s a casual and fun thing that will help you get over someone. They are not okay if they quickly turn into a complicated, emotional mess that can prolong the moving on process.
Still not convinced? Here are 8 reasons why having a rebound after a breakup is a terrible idea.
You're Probably Not Emotionally Available YetIf you just recently went through a breakup, then chances are, you're just not emotionally available to handle another relationship yet. People need a good amount of time after a breakup to get over things and get back into the right state of mind - if you don't let yourself do that, it's going to be super difficult to open up to another person, or to let yourself feel vulnerable. You might not be able to put your trust in someone else yet either, which is really important. Source: ShutterStock
It's Not Fair To The Other PersonHow would you feel if you found out that you were someone else's rebound? Probably not great. I was once someone's rebound, and I can tell you firsthand that it sucked. I was putting so much time and effort into the relationship, and to find out that my partner wasn't over his ex yet was really, really upsetting. It's not fair to your partner to use them as a way to get over your ex - even if you're not totally aware that you're doing that. This other person probably genuinely cares about you, and doesn't deserve to be treated that way. Source: ShutterStock
It's Going To Make Things More ConfusingIf you're in a rebound relationship, and you like the new person you're dating, but you're still not over your ex, that's just really confusing. It's even confusing to type it! It's going to make you feel super mixed up, emotional, and flustered. Even if you really do like this new person, you owe it to both him/her and yourself to get over your ex before starting something new. It will allow you to have a clear head. Source: ShutterStock
You Could Be Settling, Which Isn't Fair To YouA lot of the time, a rebound relationship starts because the person is scared to be alone. They want to be with someone, ANYONE, so they don't feel lonely. I'm not too proud to say to that I've done this before. I was settling, and it wasn't fair to me. The other person really didn't make me that happy, but I settled for him because I just wanted someone to be with. Thankfully, it didn't take me long to realize that that was exactly what I was doing - and I ended things. Don't settle for someone you don't really like just so that you aren't alone. Source: ShutterStock
If You're Doing It To Make Him Jealous, That's ImmatureDating someone else just so that you can make your ex jealous is, in a word, dumb. It's basically you using someone else, which isn't cool. Also, actively trying to make an ex jealous is immature and just shows that you're insecure in yourself. The best way to make an ex jealous is stuff like this. Basically, living your own life without thinking about him or her. Source: ShutterStock
You Need Time To Think About ThingsLike I said before, you need time to get yourself emotionally available for another relationship. That means you need time to think. You need to figure out exactly what you don't want in a future partner. You need to figure out what went wrong, and how to avoid doing that in the future. And a bunch of other stuff! Basically, you just need some time to yourself. Source: ShutterStock
If You're Trying To Boost Your Self-Esteem, You're Doing It WrongAnother big reason people get into rebounds is because they are subconsciously looking for a way to feel better about themselves. Breakups suck, and they can make you feel pretty terrible about yourself if you let them. It's natural and normal to look for ways to boost your self-esteem. But it's not good to try to do that by being with someone else. That's not really boosting your self-esteem. It's just a temporary fix... and it's not a good one. You need to learn to depend on yourself for confidence, not someone else. Source: ShutterStock
You Have To Learn To Be Happy Being AloneSpeaking of not depending on other people - you really need to learn to be happy being on your own. If you can't be happy single, then you can't be happy in a relationship. This means spending some time being totally single. You'll learn more about yourself and what you want. And that's important! Source: ShutterStock
Have you ever been in a rebound relationship? Do you agree or disagree with me? What do you think? Tell me in the comments.